Storm Part 3 (for partners of people with cancer)

[Willowkins]

Continuing the thread, mostly supporting partners of people with cancer - just in case it's needed.

The previous thread is here

[Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

@Evenstar they didn’t give dh much choice when the whole brain radiation was presented to him and definitely didn’t explain the side effects. The doctor actually stated he would not lose mobility but it deteriorated rapidly after the radiotherapy was complete. He was in a Hospice 2 weeks later but he begged to come home and I agreed. Although he didn’t like being in the hospice. Being there did enable him to get the correct support at home. I can’t remember the exact timelines now but with in 2-3 weeks he lost all mobility 😢
I really hope you have a more positive experience than we did 🙏

We had the possible side effects explained very clearly, I am sorry that wasn’t the case for you and your DH, it’s so important for people to make an informed choice.

Thinking of you all at this difficult time and wanted to add my thoughts and prayers 💐💐💐

DH had his pre treatment appointment this morning, ready to start immunotherapy on Monday.

We left the hospital at about 10.30, and went for a coffee .

Got a phone call to say that there was an issue with the blood samples, and to go straight to A&E (different hospital)

Within 10 minutes of arrival, DH had a stroke.

Blue lit ambulance to a 3rd hospital where they are currently doing a thrombectomy on him.

So now he is dealing with an emergency lower limb amputation in January, lung cancer in February and now a stroke.

Oh @Jaffapaffa so very sorry to hear your latest news. I hope your DH is comfortable and you are ok 💐💐💐

@Jaffapaffa that sounds so scary. How are you holding up?

@Jaffapaffa((hugs)) it never bloody rains …..

Thank you for your kind comments - I cannot tell you how reassuring they are.

DH has come round from the thrombectomy but
has lost mobility on his right side and is non verbal. He is very angry and frustrated.

I suspect the immunotherapy won't now take place on Monday, which lessens his chances of reducing his lung cancer.

I am almost at the end of what I feel I can manage, and then I remind myself of how much I'm already dealing with.

Big hugs to everyone else who is finding their situation almost unbearable x

I understand the feeling of not being able to bear any more, today I have had to make the decision to get one of my dogs fostered till this is over. He barks incessantly whenever people come to the house, now we are having carers four times a day and lots of visitors it has just become too much to cope with.

I feel it is almost the last straw really.

I still haven’t forgotten the feelings of wondering how much more I could bear and still do to this day wonder how I did it. I think you manage because actually you don’t have a choice.

What I do wish I’d done was given myself a bit more time when the carers were there, I dashed off for a shower then dashed back to help, I didn’t need to help, that was the purpose of their being there. (The first rule of being a carer is you care for yourself apparently)

I stuffed myself with electrolytes, lucozade, vitamins and tried to eat well by buying things like Cook meals from the garden centre and had a simple side of half a head of broccoli. Im currently on a bit of a health scare/treatment and am eating lots of salmon with traybake roasted veggies. Salmon is good for a foggy brain apparently.

@Evenstar so sorry to hear you need to foster your dog, I was fortunate as my parents took ours but it was a wrench, they do pick up on things unfortunately, my lab got alopecia after DH passed and it wasn’t until I saw the head vet a few months later he pieced it together as to why it happened (darn dog then broke his leg a month after DH passed so we had a bit of a time of things).

thinking of you all at this difficult time xxx

@Jaffapaffathat is awful I’m so sorry. Sending you strength and hugs. You too @Evenstarwhat a tough decision for you to have to make right now.

DH is in his final hours now. I feel like this is all so surreal.

@missinghimalready thinking of you and sending virtual hugs xxxx

Thank you @Hisredipad🤍

@missinghimalready thinking of you xxx.

@Jaffapaffa @missinghimalready @Evenstar so sorry to hear the terrible stages you are all at.
It is so unfair and I do still question what we had done to deserve what happened to dh. You just have to take it one day at a time and cope the best you can. There’s no easy way to come through devastating loss or to cope with the effects of such horrible illness.
It feels so overwhelming going through this stage but I often wish I could go back, now that I’m through it.
I have no other words but people are thinking of you and sending strength x

Thank you everyone 💐

Thinking of both of you @missinghimalready and @Jaffapaffa.

He’s gone 💔

So very very sorry for your loss. Please take time to breathe and take care of yourself 💐💐💐

@missinghimalready so sorry for your loss. One tip from when I was previously widowed make sure to stay hydrated, you may find it hard to eat for a while but drinking is very important.

Thank you @Hisredipadand @EvenstarI feel like my heart is actually broken and I don’t know what to do with myself

So sorry @missinghimalready 💔

So sorry to hear this @missinghimalready

Please look after yourself - although we all know that this is almost impossible x

@missinghimalready try to take some deep slow breaths, I used to tell myself I could get through as long as that took even if I couldn’t see any further sometimes and the breaths will calm you too. I am so sorry