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Storm Part 3 (for partners of people with cancer)

994 replies

Willowkins · 27/01/2023 19:27

Continuing the thread, mostly supporting partners of people with cancer - just in case it's needed.

The previous thread is here

[Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

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7
Willowkins · 25/12/2024 15:55

And that you're being looked after. Good news.

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MontyDonsBlueScarf · 25/12/2024 18:56

@Hisredipad excellent news on all counts. So pleased for you.

Hisredipad · 28/12/2024 14:07

All gone the other way. Can’t get him to wake up. Low oxygen sats.

Talking to the doctor this morning, she thinks it can go either way, but she’s determined to give him the best she can. So the afternoon he’s having some tests and likely yet another bag of IV antibiotics.

i feel in complete limbo, came in early to see him awake and hasn’t really happened. Wanted to go home for a bit but don’t feel I can. I’m the only one he responds to when it comes to taking his meds.

struggling a lot today 🙁

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 28/12/2024 16:35

So sorry @Hisredipad , it's such a roller coaster. Sending a hand hold.

Willowkins · 28/12/2024 18:34

So sorry @Hisredipad it's so difficult to know the right thing to do. I'm sending you a handhold and wishing you a peaceful night.

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Timesnearlyup · 28/12/2024 19:44

Thinking of you@Hisredipad . Are you still staying with family or do you have anybody else with you at the hospital?

notapizzaeater · 28/12/2024 19:50

There is no right or wrong here, my DH Went into a coma and I slept with him in the room for 2 nights whilst the hospital sorted out a hospital bed for home.

Hisredipad · 28/12/2024 23:17

I’m at relatives which is close to the hospital. Back in a bedroom I have many happy memories of when staying here in summers as a child over forty years ago with very comfortable bed and the same furniture.

DD gone home to her house. I did go home but realised it wasn’t the right thing to do, they offered me to continue to stay so I came back.

i think once Monday arrives and is a working day things will change with regard to what’s happening ongoing. I’ll also have access to someone who is going to help me with sorting the going home side of things. I just want to sleep when he sleeps and be there for him when he needs me.

Hardly got a word out of him today other than practical conversations about tablet taking and food etc. keep trying to think of nice conversations to have but I just wittered about driving in the fog and general crap. I feel like I’m in a fog peering in on someone else’s life.

realised today I am focused on the here and now whilst ploughing through home files I’ve brought with me and found out I have a teeny small pension possibly coming my way I didn’t know about and then relative gently asked had I thought about funeral directors. Errrr no, my brains skipping that bit, should I be? Not sure I want to think about that tbh and I’ve never had to organise one before.

I’d rather sort the council tax, the insurance and all the bills than plan that, I’m rather hoping the children will do it and I can just turn up, something quick, but I think there will be a large number wanting to attend.

Hisredipad · 30/12/2024 12:59

My job for today to fast track him home has been whipped away.

the lovely dr who’s name I can’t tell you because it’s too outing but is the same as one of my favourite actors (think Brad Pitt but not) told me it’s likely only a week or two and in view of keeping him comfortable it’s best we stay here.

the care here is brilliant and I was worried about him being pain free and comfortable at home so it’s not what I planned but I am ok with it.

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 30/12/2024 13:15

@Hisredipad FWIW I think you're right to keep him where he is. Pain relief and general comfort is very, very difficult to manage well at home unless you have trained support 24/7 and even then, you may need access to drugs and equipment that aren't readily available outside a medical setting. You've been caring for him for so long. Now you have the chance to stop being primarily his carer and spend some time being his wife. Thinking of you both xxx

Hisredipad · 01/01/2025 19:16

All change. New dr, today who’s not seen DH before

DH looking better so we are back to going home if by weekend he’s still ok.
Tbh this roller coaster is doing my head in but the palliative care team said it would only happen if he was well enough to make the journey.
there are moments when I think here we go, and then not.
actually I really want us to get out now and be comfortable at home just us, the family, the dog and the carers.

Willowkins · 01/01/2025 20:15

@Hisredipad I really hope it happens and soon

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notapizzaeater · 01/01/2025 22:49

Daft though it sounds as DH was in a coma by this point - it was much easier to be 'me' at home and we had 2 days of chatting to him.

Hisredipad · 01/01/2025 23:15

notapizzaeater · 01/01/2025 22:49

Daft though it sounds as DH was in a coma by this point - it was much easier to be 'me' at home and we had 2 days of chatting to him.

We’d often used to have a snooze in the afternoon with the tv on. I just want to do this again.

Hisredipad · 03/01/2025 00:39

We are home

Willowkins · 03/01/2025 00:44

That's such good news@Hisredipad and now I hope you can all settle in and have a good night's sleep

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MontyDonsBlueScarf · 03/01/2025 07:22

@Hisredipad so pleased for you both

CopperSeahorses · 03/01/2025 07:56

So pleased to hear you made it home.

Timesnearlyup · 03/01/2025 08:31

So glad you made it home. Take care of yourself too x

notapizzaeater · 03/01/2025 13:29

So pleased you made it home x

Hisredipad · 03/01/2025 22:26

Thank you.

I’ve managed to arrange the furniture so I can sleep beside his hospital bed.

Willowkins · 03/01/2025 22:38

That's really sweet @Hisredipad

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Hisredipad · 07/01/2025 19:25

Yesterday afternoon my lovely husband very peacefully departed this world. My heart is very very broken.

Willowkins · 07/01/2025 19:51

@Hisredipad I was thinking of you today and wondering how you were. I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

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Timesnearlyup · 07/01/2025 22:32

So sorry to hear your news @Hisredipad