Thread for those who have a parent with cancer?

[Fhortu]

I'm just wondering if there is a general one that I've missed, or, if not, if there's any interest in making one?
(I know there's Still the storm for people who have partners with terminal cancer.)

My mum was recently diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer, and I'm sure there are other people here struggling with a parent's diagnosis.

@unicornsarereal72
Thank you for the strength and peace.
Much needed at the moment. Sending you the same in return.
I agree with you about how difficult it is to see our loved ones go through this. Awful times.

Apologies for singular posts. App is playing up for me and didn't like my original longer post.

Hi just to say we are two months post dads death & dealing with all the admin stuff & supporting my I’m. Life is a bit easier & we aren’t phone watching anymore.

💐 💐 for everyone struggling with this.

Has anyone introduced the idea of a mobility aid to their DParent and how did they do so and how did it go down? My DM is mostly limited now by her very poor mobility which is to some extent unexplained and she has been told by physio they don't have any more suggestions or assistance for her. She is in her 50s, before the diagnosis used to go the gym 3X a week plus walked a fair bit every day as she doesn't drive. Now she struggles to walk around the house/hospital/supermarket. She can't come to things/places we go because she can't walk. However I just know if I suggest a walking aid/wheelchair/etc she will be horrified...it just seems a shame for it to be limiting her so much when there are options? Anyone been through this? I can see where she is coming from though of course, nobody plans to be suddenly unable to walk much in their 50s, it must be awful for her.

I pointed out to my Dad that using a zimmer may make him look "old/frail" as he termed it, but it was a better option than a fall and weeks in hospital. His fear of hospitals trumped any vanity quick smart ...

And having it at home "just in case" didn't mean that he had to use it all the time, just if he needs it.

We went through the practice nurses, who came out and looked at Dad's flat. They've sorted him a zimmer for days when he doesn't walk well, and a commode to use at night but he's not having a bar of that. He will need it though and it's there, which is the main thing. They also sorted out grab rails for his shower, a toilet frame, and a bath seat.

Hi all, my mum was diagnosed 6 years ago with stage 4 ovarian cancer. We have pretty much had it confirmed yesturday that things are moving rapidly and we are all devastated. I think I've cried on and off for over 24 hours now.

@mrsed1987 I'm sorry. Life is just awful at times. Please post when you need to. Helps me enormously.

Dad's pain is not getting better. He spoke to his consultant just before the last batch of treatment and they've ordered another scan. They're wondering whether to start radiotherapy to target the tumours in the spine.
His 69th birthday is coming up soon. Hoping he'll be ok to celebrate. Nothing too much, he seemed worried about going for a meal. Hoping he's ok for a takeaway.

Hope everyone else is ok.

@mrsed1987 it's just awful isn't it, you want to be strong and supportive and inside you're crumpling into a heap.

@badger1970 I'm usually not too bad at hiding it but I think I was caught so off guard that it was happening so quickly. The last time I had these feelings were when she was first diagnosed, I thought being stage 4 she wasn't going to be around long...well she has proved us wrong, 6 years 3 months since being diagnosed.

I am sorry for all of you going through similar. Life is so unfair

Well after two months in hospital mum has new lesions on the spine despite having chemo and the consultants have basically said nothing else can be done. She'll be sent home with a palliative care package. I've seen her the last couple of days and ironically she seems far better than when she went in. I just can't process it,she's too young to die and I'm too young to lose her. The pain is like nothing on earth

@mrsed1987 I'm so sorry you're going through this, I've also cried non stop for days. There's no fairness to any of it

Sorry to hear about your mum and and that your going through the same x

Send everyone lots of un MN hugs. There are no words. I have spent along time saying I can't imagine my parents not being here as it is an unbearable situation. Here I am 8 weeks or so since my dads diagnosis and he is fading fast.

Sending so much love to those of you who
are in unbearable pain ❤️

My mum has ovarian/primary peritoneal cancer (stage 3), she’s had 4x chemo and had a good response, now she’s to have major surgery in a couple of weeks

I’m torn between feeling grateful that she’s eligible and fit enough for surgery and feeling utterly terrified that I might lose her. I’m an only child and don’t have anyone to lean on/share my fears with

I’m not sure how to get through the next few weeks, everything feels full of doom and pointless 😭

@WorriedMillie hope you have good people around you. Just being with your mum at this difficult time is more than enough.

Just dropping in to share something positive. Although my dad is really poorly he got to walk his eldest grand daughter down the aisle yesterday. Very emotional day for everyone but a really lovely family occasion. Hope everyone can have some good and happy moments in these sad and difficult times

So pleased to hear this @unicornsarereal72 . I hope you had a fantastic day.

That's brilliant @unicornsarereal72 - a real moment to treasure for you all

It doesn't feel like we're getting any of those right now, but we've had some degree of light from talking to a Consultant at long last and sorting out meds to hopefully manage symptoms better.

Cancer is a bastard.

@Badger1970 hope you can find something to help

We were very lucky the wedding was bought forward so it could happen and get everyone together. But also plan much smaller moments to just be together. All bitter sweet

Was on this thread over a different username earlier in the year

DF has mesothelioma and has been progressively declining over the last few months. Found out today it's spread to his stomach and possibly even further 😥

I fucking hate cancer. I hate that my little DD won't really get to know him and that I've got to live the rest of my life without him.

@WhiteJeans07 I hope you can have some moments together to remember.

Thank you @unicornsarereal72. Trying to get myself composed enough to go round this afternoon to sort out some paperwork and present a more cheerful face than I feel inside.

It Is rubbish isn't it. I had to do wills and power of attorney with my dad in the summer. I'd been nagging him about these things for past few years. I usually find I cry my eyes out going and coming home. But manage to pull myself together when I'm there hope it goes smoothly for you

I honestly don't think I've ever cried so much as when Dad was diagnosed but I feel an awful lot more composed now. I think it's shock, then disbelief and slowly comes acceptance. I can talk to his palliative nurse now without crying every time which is a huge step forward

We had a little ray of hope today - they've asked if we would like a hospice referral for some respite care, addressed to Dad as symptom management. It would be bliss, just to be able to sleep for a few nights knowing he's safe but I've got to talk him into it first. Hmm.

Acceptance of the situation is a good place to be @Badger1970 Fingers crossed your dad agrees to a few nights at the hospice a d you can get some rest.