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Life-limiting illness

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Still the storm

997 replies

Willowkins · 17/06/2020 22:00

Continuing the support thread - mostly for the partners of people living with terminal cancer - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/life_limiting_illness/3266385-The-calm-before-the-storm?pg=10

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
notapizzaeater · 26/01/2021 15:31

@blindspots I'm so so sorry to hear this, please take care of yourself xx

Cattermole · 26/01/2021 15:34

Oh lovely I am so so sorry

Diangled · 26/01/2021 17:00

Oh @blindspots I’m so so sorry. Xxx

loubieloo4 · 26/01/2021 17:11

@blindspots oh fuck 💔 I am so so very sorry. Please look after yourself sweetheart. Xx

Moonstone1234 · 26/01/2021 17:54

I am so very sorry too.

joystir59 · 26/01/2021 18:03

I am so sorry @blindspots

iwantavuvezela · 26/01/2021 22:49

@blindspots sending you much love and strength

blindspots · 27/01/2021 14:38

Fuck you cancer for stealing my baby from me

Relaxing2 · 27/01/2021 15:31

So sorry to hear this thinking of you all and sending my love we have been informed about 6 months I'm heartbroken can't do nothing with this lockdown

Willowkins · 27/01/2021 16:22

blindspots your simple words, He is gone, took my breath away. Cancer IS cruel (we all knew that) but to take your child is so wrong.

I wish you and your family strength and peace in the weeks ahead Flowers

OP posts:
IckyPop · 27/01/2021 16:42

@blindspots you don't know me but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am to read that your baby died. It's an absolute tragedy. I hope you have the support and love you need.

notapizzaeater · 27/01/2021 19:48

@blindspots ((hugs)) nothing we can say will make it any better but feel free to scream and rant here.

I've chosen the funeral songs - think these will tip me over the edge.

•	Exit : How long will I love you by Ellie Goulding
•	Entrance : because you loved me by Celine Dion 
•	Reflection : I don’t want to miss a thing by Aerosmith
bloodywhitecat · 27/01/2021 20:14

There are no words @blindspots, I am so sorry.

I almost feel a fraud being here. DP and I have only been together 5 years, second relationship for both of us. We were both married to other people for 25+ years, his marriage broke down because his ex wife declared she was a lesbian and left him and their daughter for another woman. My marriage staggered along a lot longer than it should've done, I was planning to leave years before I did but my children were damaged by the murder of friends at a very young age. Just as I set the wheels in motion to leave I discovered by daughter's mental health was in the toilet and I was scared that asking her dad to leave would just make things even worse. That said my love for him is huge and I feel so angry at the world. I have wanted to tell people to "Fuck off" for even small things and that is not like me at all.

DP and I had great plans, now we know they won't come to anything but watching him play with the baby tonight (we are foster parents) and I can't believe he is dying. His cancer markers have risen sharply since he started chemo, I hope this is good news but seeing as none of his news has been good I am not holding out hope.

notapizzaeater · 27/01/2021 20:43

@bloodywhitecat don't be silly you're not a fraud, love to hear a good love story xx

OutOfBread · 28/01/2021 01:18

@bloodywhitecat I have followed some of your posts, I struggle with not having hope so will hope for the best for you. Sadly we have come to the end of the road. I feel a fraud as it's someone I know and not my partner, but read yesterday an article about how cancer affects wider family, friends.

Frikonastick · 28/01/2021 18:58

I am so sorry for your loss @blindspots

bloodywhitecat · 28/01/2021 19:05

Today I spoke to our first little fosterling who we moved to her new family before we knew how sick DP was. We had sent her a birthday present and she asked mummy if she could call me, her first words to me were "I wube doo". I love her too.

loubieloo4 · 29/01/2021 00:14

@bloodywhitecat markers can shoot up at the start of chemo as it's breaking down the tumours it can release some of the markers in the blood if that makes sense. Obviously all cases are different but hopefully that's the case for you.

echt · 29/01/2021 03:27

So very sorry, blindspots

Sad Thanks

notapizzaeater · 30/01/2021 11:17

Hope you're all doing ok.

It's my DH birthday today - DS and I going to see him this afternoon 😭

Diangled · 30/01/2021 11:44

Sad @notapizzaeater Another painful day for you. Not that they all aren’t painful but a birthday so soon must be impossibly difficult.

It’s actually my birthday today & I know it’s the last one I’ll have with DH. He’s very sleepy & weak at the moment but I have had a birthday kiss Smile. The mets in his brain are really making life so difficult as they’ve changed his personality. Palliative care have given him some medication to calm him which brings him back in the room as it were but it also zonks him out. Feel like we’re living in a nightmare. Our youngest is spending a lot of time at my parents, it’s just so intense here.

Hope everyone okay.

bloodywhitecat · 30/01/2021 13:48

Flowers and thoughts to everyone who needs them.

IckyPop · 30/01/2021 14:10

I'm new here. I've read the posts from the last few days and just want to say how sorry I am to everyone who has a need to be be part of this thread.

My husband is 49. He was diagnosed with auto immune hepatitis just over 6 years ago, our DS was 1 at the time. It's been managed well with meds until the tail end of last year. He has been in hospital since early December, first locally then at a specialist hospital. We thought he'd be going on the transplant path, but we found out about a week ago he has cancer of the bile duct- cholangiocarcinoma.

It's rare and aggressive. It sits undetected until symptoms show, by which point it is usually advanced. It didn’t show on any of his scans etc. Only the biopsy confirmed it which was delayed by his extremely low platelet count.
It’s been staged as T4, N1, MO
The size is large and has spread into the liver (T4)
It has moved into some lymph nodes (N1)
It hasn’t spread to other organs (M0)
He may be able to have palliative chemotherapy but his fitness and liver function needs to improve before this could happen.

He is hopefully coming home tomorrow and is care will transfer back to local team and hospice support.

The consultant said he hopes he has months, but it could be weeks.

We have a 7 year old son, and although he knows daddy has been in hospital for 2 months with a poorly tummy, that's the limit of his awareness. I doubt want to ruin his innocence, but there is no choice is there? His whole world is about to be turned upside down and my heart is breaking for him.

bloodywhitecat · 30/01/2021 14:47

My partner also has bile duct cancer.

The hospice should be able to help you explain things to your son. I am so sorry, bile duct cancer is such an awful diagnosis to receive.

bloodywhitecat · 30/01/2021 16:19

@IckyPop have you looked at AMMF the charity who deal with cholangiocarcinoma? There are some helpful resources on there