Still the storm

[Willowkins]

Continuing the support thread - mostly for the partners of people living with terminal cancer - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/life_limiting_illness/3266385-The-calm-before-the-storm?pg=10

Just back from the hospice - Tumors are growing quickly - they stopping all active treatment as it’s not helping. They talking 1-2 months max. Possibly be able to do radiotherapy to help with pain but won’t know till next week. He’s still struggling with pain so they trying more stuff tonight. The aim is to get his pain under control and get him home.

I’m utterly at a loss to say anything useful but want to cry for you. Evil disease. It’s torture as a relative

@notapizzaeater - hugs and love

Apologies not a partner but a child. Can I join please?

I've been looking for a children with cancer support thread but can't seem to find one

I'm so sorry @notapizzaeater . My DH was on a strong mix of morphine and ketamine and it's still a question I haven't asked his oncologist, but always hope he was 'unaware'. So very hard to know though. Am here if you want to DM me. 🌺

Hi @blindspots I can’t answer that on behalf of thread but I’m also not a partner. My sister has learning disabilities and I support her. No support threads for this scenario either. I’m so sorry you are going through this

@blindspots you are more than welcome here, so sorry 😞 feel free to share as much or as little as you want.

@notapizzaeater sending hugs as always, feel free to dm me if you need to let off steam. I really hope they can get his pain under control quickly.

@TooOldforBouncyCastles I hope your dsis is more comfortable

Hospice team arrived today. We’d already persuaded the district nurse to give sister some pain relief. She was having nothing until then. Immediate change in her, she relaxed and slept. Hospice team sent in more drugs to see us through the night. We can call any time to have them increased and they stressed to call sooner rather than later. It feels like we’ve been pushing for this all over Christmas but at last it’s happened.

@blindspots you will find support here - we are here if need to share, talk or just pop in and out

@TooOldforBouncyCastles - hopefully knowing that you have this extra support in place helps

Thank you. We met with the Pediatric palliative care team on Christmas Eve morning. Then we're told he had good numbers on Christmas Eve afternoon and the chemo was working.

Then on Christmas morning we were told it wasn't working and he'd have to start an experimental target drug that day.

Then go through the motions of performing Christmas with him out for a couple of hours with our other children. It all felt so hollow.

I just want to scream

@blindspots scream away, we will all hold your hand.

@TooOldforBouncyCastles hope your sister is still ok.

DH still in hospice but not in as much pain. Hopefully get an answer next week if he's a candidate for pain relief radiotherapy 😩 I've a meeting Tuesday morning with the pallative care social worker (who even knew this was a role ???) to discuss getting him home but she's already warned us the best case scenario would be next Thursday at the earliest. DH has finally realised this is it and talking about all the things he needs to do (paperwork, passwords etc )

Happy new year !

@blindspots how old is your child? How are his/her siblings coping?

@notapizzaeater what a difficult thing for him to accept. I hope it helps him feel some comfort in knowing you have something under some sort of control (grasping at straws here)

Hi, I was on these threads a while ago but life got in the way. My DH has stage 4 prostate cancer which is now terminal. He’s so young for this type of cancer & it’s been so very aggressive for him. He’s going into a hospice for a few days to stabilise him with his pain meds etc. We saw the consultant today who said the cancer is now in his bone marrow & brain so no other treatment other than pain relief.

I feel utterly shattered. Our children are 20, 17 & 10. Our 17 year old has learning difficulties & can’t quite compute exactly what I’d happening. It’s a bloody shitty, shitty disease.

Coming on tonight to wish you lovely ladies a peaceful new year. X

Hi everyone. Sorry I’ve been so absent. I have tried to type a few times, but I just haven’t been able to find words of comfort or support or solidarity even. I feel so inadequate to every task. DH has made it to 2021, I am so deeply grateful that it makes me feel lightheaded.

I can’t say happy new year, but I can say, we have survived.

Please know, all of you, who have been so kind to me over the last couple of years on this thread (has it been that long?) that I have genuinely found no better succour than right here, amongst you fellow travellers. Thank you.

@Frikonastick ((hugs))

@Diangled my DH is currently in the local hospice for pain relief and they have been amazing - the compassion and care we've all received is fantastic, nothing is too much trouble and they listen. Ours warned us straight away that they normally take 2 weeks to get pain stabilised - in my DH case if everything goes to plan it will have been 3 weeks. Our next date to aim fir are mine and his birthdays (end Jan and early feb). Our DS (just 18 (autism) but in reality he's about 13). Cant understand it as he still looks so well - but now we are talking about weeks left.

...this is how I feel and it's so fucking hard. Sending hugs to you all 💕🌺

I follow @newmoonmira on Instagram - she writes about grief beautifully.

@chinchin77 that's beautiful.

I'm sooo Looking forward to the vaccine but so fucking angry it's stolen our last year and it will be too late. I need people around me to hug me. The last two weeks whilst he's been in the hospice has made me realise this is how 'it' will be afterwards - alone watching crap ty.

@notapizzaeater it's incredibly shit. We had no family or friends here to be with DH. I'm sobbing for you, and me 💞

Best wishes to all of you. My sister passed away this morning so I’m bowing out of the thread. I hope this year brings you healing in whatever way it can x

for BouncyCastles and your DD.
(whatever gets you through this) for everyone else
chinchin that's so true
nota we hear you

@TooOldforBouncyCastles ((hugs)) take care of yourself x

@TooOldForBouncyCastles my most sincere condolences

Had a meeting at the hospice this morning, he's coming home on Thursday 😍.

They sorting out steps, chair for the shower but other than that we should be ok fir now, obv can get bed, chair etc as we need them.

Spoke to oncologist yesterday who suggested 'weeks' rather than months but he still looks so well !

Coming home - the two best words in the English language I reckon. Every single day is important.