Only treating the melanoma- why?

[Cobblersandhogwash]

Mil has brain, lung and liver cancer. All of these are as a result of a melanoma on her abdomen.

It's terminal.

They're starting treatment on the melanoma today. The medics hope it will give her months rather than weeks.

I don't want to ask upsetting questions of fil and Dh but why aren't they nuking the lot? Why just the melanoma?

I'm not doubting the medics wisdom one bit but I want it all blasted.

Can anyone explain?

I would imagine there are infection risks to having an untreated wound on the skin that they are bearing in mind. I have no idea though, and I'm very sorry for what your mil and your family are going through.

I would imagine the doctors have had a multidisciplinary meeting and have come up with the best possible palliative treatment plan for your MIL, aiming to balance length of and quality of life. She would also have had a say in this.

I'm very sorry.

So sorry to hear this .
Maybe because the melanoma is the primary cancer and the brain, lung and liver are secondaries?

Yes the melanoma is the primary.

So if they tramway the primary, does I mean it can't do anymore damage?

But little point at all in treating the secondaries!

What treatment is she having? There have been huge strides on the treatment of advanced melanoma and if they’re giving her immunotherapy she may well have an excellent response and enjoy some good health.

The lung liver and brain cancer are all melanoma, but has just travelled to different places but the biology of them is the same. This means that the treatment will hopefully address all areas.

Also is she being in a cancer centre Which has a research facility? If no she needs to be. In my opinion nobody with stage 4 cancer should be treated elsewhere. The main centres are Birmingham Churchill oxford, Newcastle, Southampton, UCL Royal Marsden, Christie. If she’s not in one of them please have her care transferred because they will have access to trials and treatments and consultants who are at the cutting edge of research

So she's on Dabrafenib. First treatment was last Thursday.

If the melanoma responds to that then she'll be on Trametinib.

Then immunotherapy.

So all the melanoma cancer throughout her body will respond to these treatments?

Thing is, her health and strength is such that they dare only try one thing at a time.

All this is a foreign language to me. And I daren't really make queries of fil and Dh. They are so so so upset.

Yes absolutely, the medicine will hopefully attack and reduce all the cancer, all of the cancer is melanoma it has just spread throughout the body. It’s absolutely not just for the one spot where it started.

Can I also make a really gentle suggestion - she’s not terminal, she’s incurable but treatable. Incurable means they’re treating the cancer and it’s unlikely to be cured but may hold it at bay and extend her life possibly for years.

Terminal is when there is no more treatment which can be given and life expectancy is less than 6 months.

Mentally I think that’s quite an important distinction

Thank you for making that distinction. It's important.

Mil was told without treatment, she'd have weeks to live. With the treatment, months.

So now we wait and hope hope hope she gets time.

cobblers the average for my husband’s cancer is 7 months. He’s coming up to 2 years and currently fixing the fences in the garden, and doing some work for a meeting tomorrow. He still has cancer, it shrinks and it grows and they chop and change the treatment. He’s incurable and living with cancer. Until the day they stop treating him he’s not terminal.

Melanoma is one of the biggest success stories of the last few years.

I can’t speak for your MIL prognosis but the strides in treatment for melanoma in particular are huge, immunotherapy is a game changer and she could have a reasonable time ahead of her.

Thank you so much for your comforting words.

It is wonderful to hear your husband is doing so well. He's clearly not one to sit about doing nothing, is he??

I've only just seen this thread- I hope the OP is still around? The strides made in melanoma over the last few years, including for advanced stage 4 melanoma have been nothing short of remarkable.

The recent licensing of targeted therapy (which your MIL is on) and immunotherapy has meant that there are a significant number of people who have been living with stage 4 melanoma for years, in some cases more than a decade.

I just wanted to post a couple of links to things which might help your MIL. The first is a recent BBC Four documentary about a scientist who developed stage III melanoma and his treatment with the drugs your MIL will receive.
www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000696j/a-year-to-save-my-life-george-mcgavin-and-melanoma

The second is a blog by a paediatric professor of nursing who was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma (including brain and lung metastases) several years ago

chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com/2019/

I agree with the PP who suggests that your MIL makes sure she is treated at a specialist cancer centre, particularly if she has other health issues- these drugs are still very new and many oncologists don't yet have much experience in their use or dealing with their side effects.

There is effective treatment available on the NHS so although it is an awful thing for your MIL and family to cope with, it has happened at a time when the options even for stage 4 are so much better than they used to be.