Devastated

[thatsthewayitgoes]

My best friend has just told me it's likely she has cancer (specific blood tests have come back positive) and having googled the prognosis it's not looking good. She has no family to speak of except her gorgeous children - both of whom are autistic. I am devastated for her.

Don't google anymore, my DH was diagnosed. Year ago with stage 4 cancer and a very, very bleak outlook, he is alive and kicking and bar a couple more sessions of chemo, should be pronounced in remission.

Flowers and hugs for you both

Thank you. It is pancreatic cancer which really doesn't have good prognosis.

Oh I am so sorry to hear this, it is indeed a shitty, shitty cancer

I am so sorry. Unless early stages it is unfortunately one of the bad ones. Sending for. You both

I’m so sorry for your friend, and a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer is shit...it mimics other diseases, and is notoriously difficult to diagnose so often presents late when very advanced
By now, She should have been reffered to upper GI MDT who will have discussed her case and treatment options, ( surgery- if possible-, and most likely chemotherapy and maybe radiotherapy ,for symptom relief)
She should also be allocated a clinical nurse specialist who will be her point of contact for any advice/ referalls/ further investigations and then maybe referral to a social worker to advise on any benefits she is entitled to and to arrange care for the children
If she’s having chemo, the chemo unit will advise on treatment and how to access out of hours care
I’m sorry it’s such It is a devastating diagnosis and she will have a lot to take in- she may or not want to talk, or use a friend to shout at
There may be clinical trials she can participate in....look on

www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/find-a-clinical-trial

Macmillan also is very useful.... they often fund clinical nurse roles —as the nhs can’t or won't—

www.macmillan.org.uk
There is support available, it’s knowing how to access it and who to speak to it’s going to be a tough time but having friends like you is invaluable ....if you need any more info I’ll try to help

Thank you so much stop. That's all fantastic information. I feel so helpless. That gives me more direction. Thank you. Really appreciate it xx

So sorry to read what your friend is going through, she will need a lot of support. Unfortunately the prognosis is very poor generally for this type of cancer. Please speak to macmillan - they can help put financial support in place quickly and their specialist nurses can help with every aspect or advise who to refer onto- things like telling the children/ planning treatment etc.

Thank you baby. Reality is kicking in this morning 😟😟

I think she needs to know that her children are secure and being looked after. She is likely to feel really really crap. Be practical for her. Make meals, do hoovering and take kids out. I was really worried that my autistic son would react badly to my diagnosis (breast cancer and not in the same league as your friend) as he fell to bits after my father died from pancreatic and his other grandfather also got got by the disease (prostate/bone) but both were of an age. I was really concerned because he has always been scared of cancer. He had been brilliant. Couldn't have wished for better support - he is very practical. I think what I am trying to cackhandedly say is that your friend's first thoughts will be how to tell people and how to help her children understand. Anything you can do will help. Also those fecking Macmillan ads and facebook clutter about cancer and people being very 'concerned' and 'you're so brave' just makes it all more scary and doesn't help.

A really good website for gifts, cards is notanotherbunchofflowers.co.uk

Whilst false hope isn’t always helpful and yes, the statistics for this cancer aren’t great, statistics don’t apply to individuals. I know of someone diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told 5% chance of survival and she is going strong many years later (in remission as far as I know). I also know someone diagnosed late last year who was very unhealthy at the time and is actually looking better than before diagnosis. Although his illness is sadly still classed as incurable, he has a good quality of life, nearly a year after diagnosis.

Let’s hope your friend is one of the lucky ones.