I can't do this again...

[Hotpinkangel19]

My mum died 7 weeks ago, last week with no warning Dad was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer. Already spread to both lungs. I'm devastated. It's not fair. What do I do? I can't breathe. I'm 18 weeks pregnant and not even come to terms with losing mum yet...

I'm so sorry OP. I have no advice but here to hand hold.

Do you know how long your dad has? What other support does he have - has he just lost his wife, do you have siblings etc?

I'd take a few days for you and bump. Eat well, even if it's just soup, and put yourself on bed rest if you can to give yourself chance to catch your breath.

Then ask your dad what he needs you to do now. It might be to help with your mum's funeral, it might be to ask about what benefits he can receive, it might be to help sort your mum's clothes.

But I think you need time for you before you go into this again. Maybe start taking photos of your dad / collecting memories with him to pass on to the baby, to give you something positive to do together.

No timescale but he's bedbound and not eating much, on Palliative care and been moved to a nursing home Just lost his wife, only me and Dad now. No siblings or family apart from me, my DH and DC's.

Mum's funeral is over, I've sorted finances, we've done POA forms. Moved dad to nursing home. I haven't stopped since mum died. I just love him so much.

I'm so sorry. Life is really shit sometimes. Make the most of the time left with your dad. Everything else can wait.

I'm so very sorry to hear this OP.

Just a very small suggestion but if you felt like telling your midwives what's going on I'm sure they would offer you appointments more frequently. Just to take twenty minutes out for this new baby and you.

Thank you x

So sorry you are going through this. We had similar - Mum died from complications following stroke and a few weeks later we found out Dad had oesophageal cancer. It's a few years ago so I now have perspective. What I learned is you have to focus on whatever are the priorities at the time but when you're able, you need to make space for yourself - to grieve properly and also just to be. Sending you a handhold and

How's today been OP?

I'm so sorry to read this OP.

If you can bear it, and if he's up to it, now might be the time for him to tell you the family stories so that you can pass them on.

Sending you every strengthening thought. You will get through it, but it's heartbreaking that you have to.

I have no words that could possibly help, just sending how truly shocking for you and your family, I'm so sorry.