I need some support, please. Pancreatic cancer in DF. Long, sorry.

[mineofuselessinformation]

My DF has pancreatic cancer.
Diagnosed last week.
Stent into gall bladder attempted earlier this week, not successful.
DF has had a bleed which was found this morning. Now having a total of five units of blood and god knows what else. He's really unwell, and for a man who's never really ailed anything in his life has been brought really low, it's worrying that he's so weak.
He faces being sent to another hospital for a different type of stent via the liver.
I'm trying to support my DParents whilst relaying news to my siblings who live overseas, and am trying to carry on working (I don't want to ask for too much as they're very supportive at the moment), so am working mornings, then going to get DM, take her to the hospital (she can't drive that far), and then come home to relay news to siblings and answer questions.
I honestly don't know how long I can go in like this - it feels never-ending (and I've been handed a pack of useful information with leaflets of symptoms, how to get help via Macmillan etc.) DParents didn't want to take it, I didn't either, really.
Has anyone else been here?
Sorry for the long, rambly disjointed post.
I had a thread here before, which I can't face trying to link on the app.

Junior doctor has seen him and waiting for senior doctor. Poor thing may be facing another endoscopy (his worst nightmare). Calling in twenty mins for more info.

It's not getting any better. DF is being taken to intensive care. He has had more vomits of blood.
He will have an endoscopy in the morning.
I don't know what to do about DM - do I tell her now? Wait til I know she's up and we can go, or wait til after the endoscopy?
My gut is telling me to go over for when she will be up, tell her then and let her decide from there.

And he's having another transfusion.

Hiya, couldn't sleep and was just browsing the boards, so sorry to hear your update. You're just not getting any breaks are you. What time will your mum be up and about? I think she needs to know about the move tbh, I think I'd be pissed off if it were me and the news was kept from me for any length of time, but if she'll be up in the next hour or so then I don't see the harm in letting her sleep till then.

I think of you a lot, my mum has pc and is going downhill at a scarily rapid rate. The hospice team are coming out to see her later today. Sending love and a hand to hold.

I'm so sorry to read all of this mine, It popped up on my active list. I'm a nurse and unfortunately I've looked after many people with pancreatic cancer and it's hideous. I would tell your dm now, if he's being taken to itu then he's clearly very unwell and I would personally want to be there. It may be that they are limited with what they are able to do due to how unwell he is and it may be best for you and dm to be there. Thinking of you.

She's been waking up around 8. She will be in a total panic if I arrive and she's not ready.

Is he in itu Mine? Have you rung and spoken directly to them? I would ask them if they feel you need to come in.

Can you ring her around 7 and tell her you'll be there to pick her up at 8?

Hi mine

I'm really sorry to hear about your DF and hope the hospital can work out what is happening soon.

I'm so sorry you are going through this awful time.

We're here. He's very ill and has vomited blood since we've been here. It is horrific.

Oh mine I'm so sorry. We had similar with my DF ( his cancer had spread to his perotonium and he had 'sticky gut') and I remember how terrifying it all was, particularly with so little time to have come to terms with what is happening and just dealing with seeing what was happening to DF.

You are in my thoughts - sending you lots of strength. You will get through this somehow

Read your thread. Just to say I'm thinking of you all.

Thinking of you. I hope that he can he made comfortable.

Dear mine i'm so sorry to hear what you are all going through. I lost my mum to pancreatic cancer 20 years ago so get how shocking this all is for you. It has all been so quick for you. We had 9 months to come to terms with it.
I live abroad and was able to get over 3 times and then got the last call to go quickly. I have always been so grateful I was able to get over one last time. maybe you should call your siblings to come? Obviously the ease with which they could arrange a visit depends on many things not least how far away they are. I'm in Europe so it was fairly easy to get a flight the same day.
I am thinking of you. we too had a lot of "maybe put a stent in""not she's not well enough" "yes we will" It's draining and majorly upsetting.

So sorry to hear your latest update, it must be very frightening for you all. I hope you're dad has been made comfortable. It's such an unpredictable disease but I hope they can get him stabilised and pain free, thinking of you

How awful for you all. It really is a horrific, unpredictable disease. I hope that they can make him comfortable. I remember how dreadful it felt not being able to do anything to make it less awful. And remember to take care of yourself.

DF hasn't been able to have any kind of procedure to stop the bleeding. He's too weak. Now off all drips and monitors, just has a syringe driver.
He's sleeping peacefully. DM and I are just waiting.

Oh lovey :(

Sending love, strength and peace x

So much love xx

I'm so sorry mine.

I am so sorry to see this .. You are being an amazing support to your DF and DM

So sorry to read this mine. I lost my beloved Dad to pancreatic cancer, it is a wicked wicked disease.

I'm glad that he is peaceful. The only teeny piece of advice I have is to say everything you want to say to him, it will be such a comfort to him now and to you in the future. And he will hear what you say. These last precious moments of time together will stay with you always.

Reading all this brings back memories from losing my Gran to this horrid disease.

I am truly sorry for what you are all going through. Be with him. Talk to him. Talk about him. Hold his hand. Try not to be scared, I know that's not easy. Thinking of you

Oh Mine I'm so, so sorry. It's all happened so rapidly, you must be shell shocked.

I hope your DF is peaceful, like pp said - talk to him, he will be able to hear you. Tell him all the things you want him to know, reminisce and talk about your memories. These are the darkest days but you will treasure having had the opportunity to tell your dad all those things.

Sending you and your family strength and love xx

Thank you all.
I've said my piece to DF already, kissed him many times and told him I love him.
He's resting peacefully and I don't want to rouse him by speaking to him. It is very important to him that he does not feel pain or suffer so he is better left asleep.