Help for son and his siblings

[Jankwrs1]

My 17 year old son has cancer. We were told this week that it has spread to his lungs. He is likely to decline further treatment as he does not want to prolong our pain. He has a twin brother and slightly older sister. They are all very close.
I don't think he has very long so these are the things I am doing/helping him with: I have put money into his account so that he can choose and order Christmas presents for his sister and brother (he asked me to do this and he wants to choose lasting things like jewellery); I have started a journal that I will give to his twin, describing these last times between them; his sister and I are putting together an album of photos of family and friends- his sister has asked his mates to send her ones of them all together. Hopefully we will be able to show him the album and then his brother can keep it afterwards.

His sister has also discussed the tattoo that the three of them were going to get when my son was first diagnosed. Obviously he will not get it now but her and other brother will (he will get when 18). Something that shows the love between the three of them.

Apart from discussing his funeral wishes, is there anything else at all I can do to help his brother and sister, and him through this. We (including his dad) are all supporting each other. I just don't want to have missed something, please.

[PhilPhilConnors]

I'm so sorry to read this.
Thinking of you all

[MrsBalustradeLanyard]

You and your family all sound very special. I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with.

[MiniCooperLover]

Thinking of you OP x

[FannyFifer]

You sound like a beautiful family, my thoughts are with you. Xx

[Gunpowder]

Only just seen this thread but your son - well, and all your children- sound like a credit to you. You must be so very, very proud of them. Am thinking of you, and him.

[keepmoving]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I lost my sister to cancer when she was 24 (I was 30 and we had 2 more sisters in between us in age). She was first diagnosed at 20 while at uni. This was about 15 years ago now but your post takes me back. I believe we were lucky to have her in our lives for those precious 24 years and better that than not to have had her in our lives at all.

We were fortunate to all be with her when she died. I was dreading it in the days leading up to it but now see it as a privilege to have been there with her. We just made sure to spend as much time with her as possible in her final weeks. Sometimes just sitting in her room talking about nonsense or even in silence while she slept, she took comfort having us near and we felt involved. This post has taken me right back and I can remember the daft things we talked about.

In terms of memories, there were certain pieces of music that she really liked at the end and I still listen to these (sometimes with tissues close by). She studied fine art and she gave each of us some pieces of her work, we still have these up at home.

I have photos of her framed at home - one is a beautiful black and white one taken when she was ill but still fighting. Another is us all sat on the floor by the sofa she is lying on raising our glasses - we wanted to celebrate her life.

Afterwards, we became closer to her best friends, keeping in touch with them afterwards. We also tried to keep up family traditions rather than avoiding them. They were painful but helped us deal with our grief.

You sound such a strong and supportive family. Different families deal with tragedy in different ways, I found that keeping talking like you seem to be doing really helpful.

[Jankwrs1]

Just to update, my darling boy passed away at home on Christmas Eve. We were all with him. Thank you all for your contributions to this thread and your ideas. Because of your help, I was able to focus my thoughts and organise some things that helped him and his siblings.

[KwickNC]

Op I've only just seen this thread, I am so sorry for your loss but think you are an amazingly strong person and your son sounded like a strong and lovely lad.

Thinking of you and your family

[chandelierswinging]

OP, I am so, so sorry for your loss

[claracluck1978]

I am so so sorry for your loss. You sound such a strong & amazingly close family. My heart goes out to you & your family x

[wannabestressfree]

So sorry x

[Merrybertie]

So sorry for your loss. You sound like an amazing family.

[SarahJinx]

Thinking of you and your family, my heart goes out to you all x

[Greydog]

So very sorry xx

[ColdAsIceCubes]

Thinking of you and your family, lots of love to you all

[3sugarsplease]

So sorry for your loss OP, reading this thread you sound like an amazing mother.

My heart is with you and your family

[llhj]

So very sorry. Life is simply unbearable at times.

[confusedandemployed]

I've only just seen this thread. I'm so very, very sorry for your loss What an amazing family you are.

[echt]

So very sorry for your loss, Jankwrs.

[DoodleCat]

I've also just seen this. You & your family sound so loving and close. I know you'll have each other to lean on, but know that all of us out here in 'cyber' world are also supporting you virtually. I have no idea what to say though. So sad, I have children too but have no idea what you must be going through. I send you strength and my sympathy. Xx

[notapizzaeater]

Thinking of you and your family xx. Life is cruel sometimes. Xx

[Namechanger2015]

So very sorry to hear of your loss. I'm glad your wonderful son had his lovely family around him. You are all in my thoughts xxx

[CremeEggThief]

Really, really sorry for your loss. Life can be so unfair.

[NameRanger]

Thinking of you