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Life-limiting illness

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I think my DH is dying

426 replies

Hellenbach · 04/10/2015 04:50

I can't sleep. It's been 13 years since DH was originally diagnosed with cancer. He had a big operation and we had many years of good health.

Then it came back and it's been a rocky road of different treatments over the past few years.

We are running out of treatment options now. He is currently on no treatment as the last one stopped working.

I can't believe how much he has deteriorated in the last few weeks. He has been bed bound for 6 days, barely eating and in pain. He is skin and bone and sleeps all day.

On Thursday he is going into hospital for radionuclide therapy. They will inject him with radioactive medicine. He has to stay in a lead lined room for 24 hours.

When he comes home he has to sleep in a separate bed for two weeks. We can't touch him for two weeks either. He has explained this to Ds1 who is 9 and very upset about it.

DS2 is 5 and has learning difficulties so is less aware.

I just don't know how DH will tolerate the treatment when he is so weak and frail. We are hoping it will stabilise the cancer. We won't know if it's worked until several weeks afterwards.

Just need a bit of hand holding.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 26/12/2015 17:36

Flowers thinking of you and your family.

GuyMartinsSideburns · 28/12/2015 11:18

Thinking of you all xx

BradfordMum · 28/12/2015 16:34

Sending love and prayers X x

BeepBeepMeep · 28/12/2015 16:40

Sending thoughts and prayers. X

Hellenbach · 01/01/2016 21:45

Thank you for your kind messages.
We followed the surgeons advice and he came home on Xmas day from 10-4.
He did really well and managed a couple of hours with the DC then had a sleep. He ate a little bit of Xmas dinner but couldn't sit at the table.

Having him collected by hospital transport and saying goodbye was awful.

But since then he has continued to get stronger and the good news is he was allowed home overnight for NYE!

We had such a lovely time. Some friends came over and cooked us dinner, a lovely beef pie for me and fish fingers for him! He managed to stay up til midnight, I don't know how.

He is back in hospital today but will be out tomorrow and hopefully discharged sometime in the week . The hospital have been amazing, really accommodating and understanding, even the bed manager.

I do think the daily dose of steroids have done him the world of good. We will see what happens when they are stopped.

Hoping 2016 brings many special, precious moments for everyone on here.

OP posts:
Ilikesweetpeas · 01/01/2016 22:00

I'm so glad that your DH came home for new year, and that he will hopefully come home soon. I have never been in this situation but send you my sympathy and hope that you are able to make some special memories with your family. You sound such a lovely, caring person Flowers

IamtheZombie · 01/01/2016 22:02

Zombie wishes you, your DH and your DC strength and peace for 2016, Hellen.

Sidge · 01/01/2016 22:03

Wishing you a peaceful and hopeful start to 2016 Hellenbach.

Thinking of you and your family xx

mumblechum1 · 01/01/2016 22:11

Hellenbach if it would be at all helpful I will happily sort your wills out for you (I noticed you mentioned it up thread) at no charge.

Please feel free to PM me or contact me on [email protected]
We can do everything by phone and email.

Lots of sympathy at this terrible time.

BooOzMoo · 01/01/2016 22:20

I hope the steroids give you warm and loving time.... Been thinking about you all xxx happy- ish new year X

FourFlapjacksPlease · 02/01/2016 00:50

I'm so pleased you managed to be together at home on christmas day and NYE. How are the DC coping now?

Mumblechum - what a kind offer x

Sansoora · 02/01/2016 00:53

Im so glad for all of you.

xxxx

echt · 02/01/2016 08:16

How splendid to have such a precious day with your DH. Thanks

rainbowstardrops · 02/01/2016 08:46

I've only just read your thread but I am just so pleased that your DH managed to spend time at home on Christmas Day and New Year's Eve - yay!!!

Thinking of you all Flowers

whatisforteamum · 02/01/2016 10:01

So pleased for you all.i know a bit what its like as Dad is on a good spell with steroids and managed to stay awake all of xmas day amd i saw him nyd after work.He is struggling to walk now.
So glad the hospital did all they could for you all xxx

ovenchips · 02/01/2016 10:32

That's wonderful about Christmas day and New Year's eve, just wonderful! I love the fish fingers! So pleased the steroids are helping.

Fingers crossed he is discharged soon. x

Topseyt · 02/01/2016 10:42

Flowers for you all. Just read this thread.

Glad he was home for a little while over new year.

I hope he is discharged back to you soon.

LastAnni · 03/01/2016 05:29

What a lovely NYE for your family :)

Hellenbach · 05/01/2016 21:10

He is home! He is cranky, tired and emotional. DS1 asked me why he smelled bad...he hasn't had a shower for a month.

He tried to empty his colostomy bag and his glasses fell in the toilet.

I have drunk a whole bottle of 'celebratory' prosecco.

I think the hard part is just beginning...

OP posts:
Penfold007 · 05/01/2016 22:03

Brilliant news and good luck to you all.

BifsWif · 05/01/2016 22:09

Delurking to say I'm so happy he's home!

Wishing you strength and sending love.

twirlypoo · 05/01/2016 22:16

Just wanted to say I am so Happy he is home for you all. Sending lots of love xx

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 05/01/2016 22:19

I'm so glad you've got him home for a bit. I have to say, my mum took steroids when she had a couple of brain tumours. The steroids did an amazing job and the tumours just about vanished. The steroids do work really well for some. Hope he manages to feel a bit better. Flowers

Homebird8 · 06/01/2016 02:24

So glad for you all that he's home.

GuyMartinsSideburns · 06/01/2016 07:19

So pleased to read you've got him home xx I hope he's feeling a bit better for having slept at home with his family. Thinking of you all