Is this normal?

[LadyRainicorn]

Mum has secondary breast cancer. It's mainly in her bones and seems to be spreading through them very rapidly - the latest scan of her spine made her consultant say that it was riddled with cancer, that it was affecting the marrow and that he was uncertain that there was any point to pallative chemotherapy (i.e. she was too far gone to prolong life).

But, her main symptom is pain. That's now under control (thank you modern medicine). What's happening is day by day I can kind of see her just getting weaker. Going up a step. Her handwriting.

we are getting an awful lot of hinting and head tilting that this is the end and mum does seem dimished (I'm sorry if I seem cold here I promise I'm finding hard )but mum doesn't actually seem sick. Is this normal? Can I hope that things stay this easy for her?

I'm sorry if easy is the wrong word. But she's seemed sicker and not been dying. But she does seem like she's dying, I don't disbelieve the diagnosis

I'm sorry to read about your mum. I can't really comment as my only experience was my mum years ago with pancreatic cancer. She did seem ill and dying but I think that was as much the chemo as anything else.

It is good that her pain relief is working. Sending you strength and

I think my short answer to this would be yes it is normal. I'm not coming from a place of great experience, lost my dad to cancer in September just gone but knew nothing before that.
My dad had thyroid cancer with secondary spread to his bones particularly in his lower back which made walking difficult. With it being in his thyroid it made it particularly obvious in that his voice was affected, and his swallowing which meant he lost a lot if weight quickly.
There was no outward signs of the bone cancer though (seems silly to write that as it is in bones so seems obvious) it was only the pain that was affecting him. I can imagine that if his primary tumour hadn't been so visible in his neck then he wouldn't have looked obviously ill at all.

Sorry you're going through this, it is horrible

Ask for a hospice referral urgently. They will help you and your mum through this

Hospice are involved, distric nurses are involved gps are involved (I wish the new receptionist had the memo but heyho, I'll just get accused if receptionist bashing)

All the agencies have been helpful. We've been given a hospital bed! As well as a bunch of other stuff, and care workers for the days I'm in the office. I spent what seemed like days on the phone or in meetings in January sorting stuff out.

She just seems to be slowly fading away.

How are you doing Lady?

How are you doing Lady?