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Life-limiting illness

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Original poster

Fed up with negativity!!!!!

5 replies

Ludoole · 30/10/2014 01:55

Dp's sister is dragging him down with all the negative crap shes spouting Angry
They are having "family meetings" to discuss how worried they are about him (none of the other family have even picked up a phone to him in 3 months let alone visited!!!!)
Im so sick of dp being wound up and upset and im left to pick up the pieces!
It seems like they have a fricking radar to spot when we are happening and then dive in with their negativity.
I hate seeing what they do to him Angry

We dont know how long he has (stage 4 metastatic bowel cancer) but we want to enjoy the limited time we will have.

Rant over!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ludoole · 30/10/2014 01:56

Happy not happening. Bloody phone Angry

OP posts:
throckenholt · 30/10/2014 12:02

send a message the them all - if you can't say something cheerful then don't say anything.

Surely at this stage, they should be taking their queues from your DP - ifhe wants cheerful then that is what he gets (regardless of how they feel).

And try not to let them get to you - don't let them spoil the time you have.

Lilymaid · 30/10/2014 12:25

There's a useful diagram on one of the Tamoxigang threads about the Circles of Care I would show that to your family and tell them what you both want is care and support and not worries and negativity (speaks as one with metastatic breast/bone cancer).

Original poster
Ludoole · 30/10/2014 18:23

In all honesty they wont listen to me. Since we got engaged they seem to have decided they dont like me...
If i do anything for dp they get annoyed because they were going to do that... They seem to think its a competition to see who does more for him Hmm
I couldn't give a crap who does what as long as its done quickly!!
Ive told dp that i will continue to be civil but one more negative comment and im telling them to leave. He agreed.

OP posts:
Musicaltheatremum · 30/10/2014 22:31

Families are awful. My BIL visited about twice a year when he was in our city on business. His poor brother (my DH) was ill for several years and even two weeks before he died all he could say was A is looking quite chirpy. In my case it wasn't negativity or worries it was complete denial that there was anything wrong with him and all my concerns about his memory due to brain irradiation were rubbish. Probably why I haven't spoken to him since the funeral. Thoughts with you OP

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