Onwards and Upwards: Staying stale in the teacup of life

[biscuitsandbandages]

This is my 3rd thread as I go from a shock diagnosis of leukaemia towards what will hopefully be a cure.

Life is shit but I am strong and there will be happy times again.

Thank you everyone for your ongoing suppport x

Im losing weight (great! The chemo and sepsis diet for post partum weight loss) so they are trying to feed me up! Sending dh out for mini hibinobs is quite a good plan thank you :-) then

I wish I could eat a whole packet. Its more a bite-wait to check it stays down- wait a bit longwr as now I feel full type situation

Was trying to think of a haematologist I'm not scared of - well there are some, but they are a minority! And definitely scared of everyone I've met doing acute leuks.

They are just very very serious black and white people. Oncologists are a totally different breed. When I dealt a lot with haem I had to go home and hit the textbooks every night as if you didn't sound ferociously clever, they'd eat you for breakfast.

See if you can send the new SHOs out for biscuits

Hi, biscuits, sorry to hear you've been feeling rubbish. They've clearly been going in with the big guns with your treatment, so like others have said, if its making you feel this bad it's obviously powerful stuff that's zapping the leukemia.

I had my medical today in preparation for my stem cell donation, so I can relate to the hassle factor too... Hours of sitting in waiting rooms, hours looking for a parking space oh and a bloody fortune on parking costs! And for me, it's only a few appointments... Goodness knows how you're keeping your sanity and sense of humour intact!

My date has been put back to sept, and could possibly be put back again if my DB needs extra treatment. Treatment plans seem to be so personalised nowadays that things are tweaked along the way... I know this has been a source of frustration to you at times but its good to know the medics are responding to every detail.

Hope you start to feel better soon and can progress to toast :)

I hope you're busy training up the new SHOs Biscuits and that they are not only secret sources of really good biscuits but also genius and seriously out to impress with their healing powers.

Look - mini packs of chocolate hobnobs.

Hi biscuits! How are you feeling today? Delighted to hear you have a date for your transplant! That is very good news!
Hope today is kind to you x

Hi Biscuits, just checking in to say I'm still here and still thinking about you, sending you positive healing vibes.

I hope you are starting to feel a bit better.

A little check in here too. Hope the sepsis is improving and that you have found mini hobnobs! Hope work are being good to mr b about taking you x

Hello biscuits. Things are tough right now by the sound of it. Sending you positive energy through the ether. Hope the antibiotics kick in soon and you keep nibbling the biscuits.

Hope you're feeling better biscuits - sending love and luck your way!

Hi biscuits, a lurker here, just wanted to send you lots of love and positive vibes sweetheart, it's obviously a real battle at the moment, your doing so well x

Hi biscuits, hope you are ok as you haven't posted in a few days. Hope you're feeling better and your internet is just playing up.

Hope you're OK biscuits.

Stay stale dear one, stay stale xxx

Hi biscuits, another lurker here, wishing you well
and hoping you're ok. xx

Hi Biscuits. I often pop onto your threads to see how you're doing. Rarely post as I work very long hours and have small children so only on MN intermittently and rarely get a chance. But also just sending good thoughts your way. X

Hi :-) still here, not dead yet.

Ive been hibernating a bit and feeling sorry for myself as very sore and now bald and no energy and just dont feel like me anymore. Its hard seeinf my fitness and appearance change so much in the search for a cure.

But im eating a little more and they have given me some supplement drinks so I dont feel so pressured to force myself and although im still on antibiotics the side effects are settling which is good as I may be on them now until my neutrophils recover.

Its Saturday tomorrow. Time to cuddle my boys. Apparently we are watching ice age 3. They have plans :-)

Aw, lovely update Biscuits! You sound so positive and continue to find humour in situations which could cause you to crumble, and take great delight in your children. If you find yourself unrecognisable right now I am sure your family and friends can see 'you' shining right through. Kept it up and have a lovely weekend with your babies.

Yey for Saturdays and cuddles with your scrummy boys

Hibernating is just fine if that's what you need. Glad that you've got some alternative nutrition that's working for you.

Your outward appearance might have changed but your personality that shines out of your posts hasn't. You still sound like the sort of woman I'd be proud to call my friend. If I could extract some of my neutrophils and post them to you I'd be on it like a shot

Lots of love biscuits. Those difficult days, they're so hard, but they will pass. They will. And so far you have a 100% success rate of getting through bad days. (I stole that from a friend, who put it on Facebook.)

I'm sorry to hear what you and PP said about your haematologists. All the consultants in my unit are brilliant. And 4 out of the 5 really sympathetic and understanding. And the nurses beyond praise. But I know that they're generally considered a bit inhuman. It's a very technical discipline I'm told.

Enjoy Ice Age 3!

Biscuits- can I just tell you some words the consultant said to me when I went for medical this week, in preparation for my stem cell donation?

Stem cell transplants are very expensive. They aren't considered as an option for all patients: they are given when there is a real chance of a cure. Aggressive chemo and radiotherapy might beat the cancer cells into remission, but a transplant can be a route to success in the long term.

I'm feeling jittery about the procedure... It still feels a strange experience to be signing consent forms for medical treatment when I am fit and healthy. But to hear this was so uplifting.

You are fighting a series of battles, and I bet sometimes you feel you're losing, but look on the transplant as a chance to win the actual war.

Enjoy the cuddles with dc tomorrow, biscuits.

Biscuits, you are entitled to want to hibernate. It is lovely to read your post but you know you must only post if/when it is helpful to you.

It must be so hard to go from fit and young to feeling so tired and ill.

A hopefully uplifting anecdote for you:

My uncle had bowel cancer. He was so so poorly for such a long time - he was in his late 70s and completely frail. But around 2 years after his treatment finished then aged 81 he suddenly bounced back. Now aged 83 he is still going strong taking four holidays a year to Europe, enjoying his friends and hobbies and full of plans. We could never have imagined this transformation.

You are young and strong and I'm wishing you a quick and complete recovery with a massive bounce back.

Morning biscuits. Good to hear from you and still to hear the humour in your post despite what you're having to endure. I love what Lines has posted about fighting battles and winning the war. I hope you can find some consolation in that analogy as you play this infernal waiting game.

Lines, good, thoughtful, considerate words from a good, thoughtful considerate heart. Bravo, you.

Biscuits, enjoy your DC Saturday. I hope Ice Age 3 meets expectations!

God morning Biscuits. Took me a while to find your new thread.
Glad to see you still here and still posting through all the days good and bad.
Thinking of you and the crumbs and Mr B. Stay stale as always