Moving into the Hospice

[Knittingnovice]

Some of you may know me, most of you won't of heard of me but today at 34 years old I am moving into the local Hospice as I know my life is coming to the end.
I was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2011 and fought it with surgery and chemotherapy and was lucky enough after being the all clear to fall pregnant with a third child.
Unfortunately in October 2013 I found out that the cancer had returned as secondary bowel cancer in the form of peritoneal disease and liver metastases.
Since October I have undergone 2 more gruelling cycles of chemotherapy and numerous hospital admissions and my tumour is not shrinking and not reacting the the chemotherapy at all.
Everything reached a climax following the bank holiday at the end of May and after two days with the children at Legoland I was back in A&E with uncontrollable pain and vomitting.
Since then my health has spiralled downhill and last week after my discharge from hospital I took the selfish/selfless decision that i do not want to die at home and need to leave lots of happy memories for my children in the home and create new memories for them in the hospice.
I blog about my journey and decisions here

i'm not sure why i am posting this here, but i suppose i want to raise more awareness of bowel cancer and if this post prompts someone to go and get their poo checked out by the GP it will all be worthwhile for me.

[minmooch]

I am so sorry to read this. Mr Knitting I send you and your family much love and strength. My eldest son died in February from cancer at the age of 18. He spent his last few days in a hospice. I can't find the words but please know that I will continue to remember Ruth and your family. She spoke with such love.

[throckenholt]

So sorry to read your news. I have spent the last few days reading the blog. So honest, so unfair and so sad.

I wish you all the strength you need.

[5madthings]

Tomorrow it's knitting ds's 6th birthday, I can't begin to imagine how he is feeling or the rest of the knitting family but I want you to know I will be thinking of you on your birthday little man and sending you much love.

You are the same age as my ds4, and your mummy was the same age as me.... There are no words that are adequate but I am thinking of you and your family.

Xxx

[UKsounding]

I am thinking of Ruth's little boy too, and sending him a mummy hug - I just wish it could be his mummy's hug. She so wanted to be there for his birthday...

[LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood]

I promised Knitting that I would think/pray for her DS on this and every birthday. He shares a birthday with my DM so its easy to remember. He is due to have a pizza party. I don't know whether that can still go ahead. Whatever happens I hope he has the best day he can. Dear boy.

I shall think of and pray for him each year on his birthday.

Love and peace.

[Butterflyspring]

Lady - that is so lovely x

[Magic7]

Sitting here shedding tears for you little man. Hope your birthday is as good as it can be. Lots of love and know there are many many people loving you. Your mummy will be there beside you. I truly believe that. X

[5madthings]

Happy Birthday little man, your mummy was so looking forward to spending the day with you and your pizza party.

I am thinking of you and sending love.

[ISpyPlumPie]

So sorry. My thoughts are with you

[murphys]

Thoughts are with all of Knitting's family.

Birthday blessings little Knitting. Your mummy is with you today and every day.

[Jaccuse]

Thinking of you all. Happy Birthday to your little boy Xxx

[zfj]

I just stumbled across this today, knitting sounds like an amazing woman, what a loss for you all. It must be especially hard today, Happy Birthday to your son, my thoughts are with you all, for the birthday boy.

[Elibean]

RIP Knitting...I remember you well from the Tamoxigang..

And many, many wishes to your family - especially Mr Knitting and children

[SugarPlumpFairy3]

I keep looking at Ruth's post saying she was going to hang around for her ds's birthday .

Happy birthday Master Knitting. Much love and big cuddles xx

[Anotheronesoon]

So sorry for your loss. Ruth sounded like an amazing, strong brave mother. Sending you love and strength at this very difficult time- especially to your son. RIP brave lady x

[Badvoc2]

Thinking of little master knitting and all the family today xxxx

[BehindLockNumberNine]

Happy Birthday to little Master Knitting and thinking of you all today xx

[Sunbeam18]

Rest in peace, lovely Ruth. You are an inspiration, and your spirit lives on through your family. My heart breaks for your family, and your wee boy on his 6th birthday. It's so horribly unfair. Love to all of your family over the coming months x

[Azquilith]

Thinking of you on your little boy's birthday xxx

[RainbowInACloud]

So sorry. She sounded an amazing woman.

[sjonlegs]

What a truly amazing lady, who fought and shared and smiled in the face of adversity.

A lovely blog by a very brave lady ... may you rest in peace and may your family find solace and love from the precious moments you shared, and the legacy you left behind.

Xx

[SameDifference]

I've written thislittle tribute post, for what it's worth. I know we're not usually allowed to publicise links on these boards but I hope that in this case moderators will make an exception.

samedifference1.com/2014/06/26/a-tribute-to-mumsnet-member-ruth-hayllar/

[trulymadlydeeply]

I thought of Little Knitting a good deal on Tuesday. Happy Birthday little man, and I hope the pizza was tasty.

Thinking of you very often, Mr Knitting. Hope that you are as OK as it is possible to be in such circumstances. X xx

[MmeLindor]

So sorry for your loss, MrKN. RIP Ruth x

[hollyisalovelyname]

I know Ruth's little one's birthday was during the week ( from her post on Mumsnet) i hope you were able to celebrate and was thinking of you. X