I shed many tears in hospital, biscuits. Most were cathartic, though; the release brought about by crying can help a lot, I find. I often feel better, psychologically, after a good old blub! If it drags you down into a spiral, though, please try and find someone to talk to. Don't suffer alone. Take strength from all your supporters on MN, too.
I thought I'd let you know about some of the things you've got to look forward to, now that I've seen a glimpse of it myself...
A messier home, for sure, with many things (though not all, amazingly!) out of Their Usual Places. Somehow, it doesn't matter. It's a happy home.
Excited, slightly (and unusually) coy, but deep-down joyous children who are delighted to have their mother back in the bosom of the family home - not quite at the helm yet (someone else can steer for a while) but back to Where She Belongs. Somehow the fact she's not in the driving seat (yet) doesn't bother them; Mummy's home.
Endless snuggles with your beautiful DD, all of whose physical and emotional needs have been met, admirably, in your absence. Fact is, no one or thing can ever replace those special cuddles with Mummy. She'll feel the warmth emanating from you.
A hitherto (outwardly) stoic but now clearly tired and worn-out OH. He's deeply grateful to you for making it back to the Mother Ship. He's even more grateful for you now he realises how hard a ship it can be to steer single-handedly! He didn't mind holding the course for a while (by golly, though, he's had way more help than you ever get!), and he'll continue to steer it (under your gentle guidance) until you've found your full stamina again (indeed it will always be more of a joint effort from this point on) but - for now - all that matters is to know you're back, you've survived, and you're somehow stronger for your experiences.
Hot, decent cups of tea (with biscuits, on demand!). I don't know about you but hospital tea never tasted quite right (water too cold?) and they were forever running out or failing to offer the biscuits!
Home-cooked food. Let them do it for a while. It won't be perfect but it'll be a darn sight better than hospital food!
The sound of the birds and (I hope, for you too) the heady smell of blossom and pollen in the garden. Even on a slightly drizzly day, it's 100% more life-affirming than the sounds and smells in the hospital.
And you will get there/here, biscuits. Even if, as in my case, you know you'll have to leave The Comfort Of Home again - for further treatment - somehow it'll seem easier, you'll know what's ahead, and you'll appreciate even more what you have to return to (& they, you).
I hope today improves, post-blub. Yesterday was a positive day; keep a firm hold of some of that upbeat mood you tapped into. Strong lady.
As ever, thinking of you.