Sat here worrying waiting for doctors to open

[Passworderror]

I don't know if this is the right place to post so apologies if it's not :(
I'm a long time lurker, first time poster but just needed to talk and didn't know where else to turn! DH & DC's in bed sleeping and I'm sat downstairs alone just waiting for the time to pass.

A couple of months ago my periods just stopped from being regular as clockwork month on month to nothing. I've missed 2 now, no spotting or anything. I've been bloated, extremely tired, suffered with period type pains, back pain, noticed some weight gain etc and put it all down to starting going through the change. I'm just 47.

Tonight was like any normal night, DH & I had gone to bed and we'd fallen asleep. I woke up from a dream crying, I'd dreamed someone was telling me to go to the doctors. I'd gone and spoke to the GP and he sent me up to hospital straight away for blood tests and a scan. The doctor was telling me I had cancer but it all sounded blurred and I didn't seem to be taking it in. I was then sat on a hospital bed waiting to go down to surgery writing my last will and testimony and letters to my family incase I didn't come round.

I got out of bed and came down stairs for a glass of water, it's totally freaked me out. I've got knots in my stomach now and can't think about sleep. I've searched my symptoms online and ovarian cancer has come up as a possibility. My mum had lung cancer several years ago but after surgery and treatment she fought it. She lost her life last October to a chest infection she couldn't fight off even on life support. My mum and father divorced when I was 4 and I've not seen him since so have no idea if cancer runs in his family.

I was treated with laser therapy for abnormal cells in my early 20's but I have no idea if that puts me at a greater risk of other cancers or not. I'm sorry if I'm rambling I just feel worried sick now :(

Dear Password, please stop googling right now! You are doing the right thing going to the doctors. Whilst you have a moment now, make a written note of all your symptoms and the approximate date they started to take with you to the doctors. Doing something now will make you feel more in control.

When you make the appointment ask for a longer time to be booked so you have plenty of time to really discuss things with your doctor.

Regarding the dream, it is that 'just' a dream, it is not real life. To me, it shows how your health is on your mind right now (and rightly too). You are doing the right thing. Lots of hand holding

You didn't mention, so not sure if you'd thought about this but....Have you peed on a stick recently?

Thank you so much for your replies. I thought everyone would be tucked up in bed now and there was just me sat up listening to the rain belting against my window.

I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm not usually like this. I'm not a very religious person either but it really freaked me out and started to wonder if it was my mum warning me. I know that sounds ridiculous :-/

Thank you for making me feel normal to worry. My GP surgery opens it's phone lines at 8.30 so I'm hoping to be able to get in today.

Sorry I should have added that I'd been sterilised several years ago but I have done 2 pregnancy tests to be sure. Miracles do happen I guess but both were negative.

Thank you again. I feel a bit calmer after reading your posts

Password how did it go?

Hi all,

Just an update of my GP appointment. As suggested by chotti I wrote down a list of my symptoms so as not to forget anything. My doctor was lovely, he's put my mind at rest about any cancer concerns and has requested a check on lots of different things. He made suggestion that it could be diabetes or a problem with my thyroid. He's going to check my hormone and oestrogen levels, vit D deficiency etc. he reeled off a huge list of things he'd like to check for so will just have to wait and see the comeback of the results. I'm booked in next Tuesday morning for blood tests.

I'm no expert, but having an underactive thyroid would cause some of your symptoms (I have an overactive one). And, around your age, sometimes women will experience the peri-menopause, I am, it's great not having a period every month, mine have slowed down although they haven't stopped completely.

Thank you KC - Sleep is still a bit disturbed but I can't really expect anything else I guess. I've had quite a traumatic 12 months and lost 2 other family members aside from my mum over the last year. Although things had been getting a little easier to cope with recently I think my health and Christmas dawning must have been playing on my mind.

You're quite right NiSaBula - I looked up thyroid problems and saw that some of my symptoms could be a sign of under active thyroid. I think I'd just convinced myself it was the onset of menopause to allay any other fears, plus it seemed logical at my age. It could still just be that but at least the additional checks will put my mind at rest.

I'm overweight and a smoker but this as been a huge kick up the backside to me. I've decided to quit smoking. I did stop once for 10 years but started again when my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. Crazy eh :-/ you'd have thought that would have been the last thing I'd want to do but it was a crutch I used to deal with the stress (I'm not a drinker).

I've tried unsuccessfully to quit a few times since but see this as a major turning point in my life and times to make some healthier choices. For me and my family. I've chose to gradually cut down and have set my last smoking day as Sunday at the latest, then take it one day at a time.

As for losing weight, I'm not 100% sure which route to take! I've tried many diets over the years, lost a little then put it back on again. I'm a very fussy eater, I hate fish, I don't like veg and not really keen on meat/poultry but I will eat a little ham or port occasionally. I've never got on with weight watchers but did well on slimming world and Rosemary Conley when I tried those. I did Atkins years ago which I struggled with since I don't eat eggs either lol. I don't really have a large appetite and can go most days without eating anything till tea time, which I know is the worst thing in the world to do! I overeat on crap stuff like chocolate & biscuits so that's going to have to stop as I can't just have one, it ends up being the whole bar or packet. I know in my mind what I'm doing is wrong I just need to deal with that somehow and change my mindset.

Hi again, I found the patientuk website really good in explaining thyroid disorders. Hopefully they are testing your blood for thyroid hormones.

Hello OP thanks for updating us. It's good that you've taken the first step by visiting your doctor. Onwards and upwards :)