childhood sexual abuse - tries everything to forget :(

[PainForLife]

just that really.... my life is being ruined by memories over it.
I'm always angry & lash out at other's.

psychotherapy is not very helpful.

right now I feel like hitting my head into a wall.

I've been punching my head instead so far... the pain overtaken the images & I feel better.... arghhhhhh

so I think its punched my head about 90 times but nothing!'!!!????

is hitting my head in a wall better????

Hi Pain
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. How are you feeling now?
Perhaps you could try posting this in mental health? You can click on the report button to your right and message the MN team and I'm sure they'll move it for you.
I hope you feel better soon.

thanks for responding accidental

I'm ok I rang the crisis team yday & they helped me. just gotta try keeping myself together until Thursday when I see my psychologist.

Have you ever come across EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique? It might be worthwhile trying. Many people have been able to create a shift with old traumas. Here is a link to get more information in case you want to check it out:

www.emofree.com/eft/whatiseft.html

It's horrible to life with such memories. I've got to much of those myself.

How did I deal with it?
Not really, the pain is still there. I only created a different life. Far away from my family. My friends and people who I do have contact with are people who are nice and good to be in contact with.

I don't need anyone who's negative towards me.
I've surrounded myself with positive people and I've a good life.

They took away my childhood. I'll never be able to get that back. That hurts and will always hurt me.

But now things are going well with me. The pain is more like mourning over a lost friend.
Sometimes it really hurts and I get a lot of flashbacks. But most days are fine. I've my own life and things are going well with me.

Sylvia

I'm here for you if you want to chat with me about your past.

Send me over here a private message. It'll appear in my mail box and I check this one almost every day.

Don't hurt yourself. I've done it too.
You've been hurt more then enough. You're able to have a good life. Even with such a past.

Please keep that in mind.
Don't hurt yourself!!!

Sylvia

Hi, I think that a session with someone who practises 'the emotion code' may be able to assist you, I've heard its powerful and very helpful.

Hi, I'm sorry to hear you went through this but hitting your head is gonna get you no where it's pointless, you need to let it all out speak to some about how you feel and if up to it tell someone every little detail about what happened, I found this helped me, as a teenager I was horrendous the worst person ever I was angry all the time I never let anyone in and used to just sit in my room listening to my music and shutting my self off, if I did go out it would be to hang out with my few friends I had and I used to drink and smoke cannibis and generally get up to no good.
I met my now husband at the age of 16 and I slowly got better with my anger and up until a few years ago I'd only told a few limited people.
I got into a massive argument with my mum over a piece of toast she said to me you need your head testing to which I broke down and said well you have no idea what's wrong with my head you don't know what happened to me, obviously my mum needed to know what I meant so I finally told her, she was devastated and blamed her self (it was my half brother who is 10 years older than me).
In a way I do blame her for not seeing the signs, they were all there.