How do I get DP off his fat arse and lose weight?

[onemorebite]

DP was diagnosed with diabetes last year. He also has high cholesterol and is also having liver tests.

He is very overweight and was told the other week that he has to halve his weight within a year - or else he is putting his health at serious risk. But I am so frustrated with him. He has now finally started taking his meds for the diabetes and eating regularly, but only because he collapsed in the street. But he is not taking the diabetes or his health issues seriously.

It has been a difficult year. I've tried not to nag him but he is not taking the exercise which the doctors have said he needs to. But his response to the latest advice was to say that we should get life insurance for him. Not to start doing what he is supposed to be doing.

Anyway, I booked a consultation for him with a personal trainer. But he is finding excuses not to go, saying we can't afford it (we can) and that he doesn't have any kit or doesnt have the time. I'm really angry that he would rather sit on his (oversized) behind and put his life at risk - than actually do something which means he might be about while his 2 kids grow up. DC2 is only 18 months and the way DP is going I very much doubt he will still be around by the time she is 5.

It could be that he is absolutely terrified and finding it far easier to bury his head in the sand than do anything?
Rather than telling him to do something, would you consider doing something as a couple/a family? Something as simple as going for a walk to get a baseline he can start to build up from? Going to the gym/ swimming for the first time is frightening when you're really overweight because you have this notion that everyone else there is super-fit and super-slender (IME reality is far from this), but you still need to get through that first trip - so perhaps some unpressured gentle exercise with people he knows and trusts may get him going?
I can really understand how frustrated you must feel though - good luck

If you apply for life insurance and he is turned down (or quoted sky-high premiums) because of his weight and health conditions, would that be a wake-up call?

thanks for replying

exexpat - good point about being turned down for life cover. But he is so bloody stubborn am I not sure even that would do it...

Roobie - We do go swimming as a family, although he usually just messes around with the children rather than doing proper laps. He is extremely arrogant so very much doubt that he is scared of the gym. You may be right about him being terrified about the illness. He wouldn't admit in a million years though.

Could you maybe reward him for exercising. It's worked in the past with DH.

could try that. Will probably work better than my ranting. I thought booking him in with an female trainer would be enough of a reward in itself - but obviously not!

The right incentive does wonders, honestly :)