Married, in my 40s, and suddenly attracted to a woman.

[wellthisisnewandconfusing]

Who, just to make the whole confusing mess even worse, is half my age.

I've always identified as straight. All my previous relationships have been with men, and I've been with the same one for almost two decades now. We are not unhappy - we make a great team - and we have two gorgeous children. So why can't I get this woman out of my head?

I've known her for just over a year now, we've been working on a contract together, which overran because of lockdown and is now coming to an end. I just adore her. I've never felt like this about anyone - in all my previous relationships I've felt like I was the one in control, like they always wanted me more than I wanted them. This time I feel like i could just fall at her feet and worship her. Yes, I realise that's hyperbole.

I could and was ignoring it, on the grounds that why on earth would a beautiful, talented young woman be interested in me, but lately she's started to do things that make me think she is. We've been spending more time together, and she's asked if we can create an independent project together once this ones over. She said "I think we'll make something really rather spectacular together". Then on Friday we went for a drink and a bit to eat after work, and when she was leaving she kissed me. Not a snog, nothing massively inappropriate - just a press of her lips to mine. I can't stop thinking about it. About her.

I really don't know how to get over this. And I have to get over it. I can't act on it. I'm married, I would never hurt my family like that. And she deserves so much more than I can give her.

I don't know why I'm posting. Suspect I'm going to be given a hard time. But I've no one else to talk to, and I feel like I'm going mad.

[wellthisisnewandconfusing]

Not totally sexless, no. He would like sex a lot more often than I would though.

[confusoedimezzaeta]

Depending on what you want to do, I would send her a Happy New Year message. It's harmless and if she chooses to continue communicating, then that is great

[YoungYankee]

It shouldn't have to be said, but please don't cheat on your husband. Not even emotionally. You know full well it's the wrong thing to do. Sometimes your head has to rule over your heart.

[KateTalmai]

@wellthisisnewandconfusing I'm reading this thread with much interest because I'm going to similar experiences. So I am really curious what yout current situation is. Allso to have some perspective on my own story.

[Why11]

Hi,
currently going something similar except Im not sure the woman (a friend of mine) finds me attractive. She tends to get physically close to me and it messes with my head.

I absolutely love my husband, do not wanna leave him. But I feel this urge to experience smt with a woman. Im wondering if one day I will not just ask him his permission…
our sex life isn’t great though, because of me :/ idk sex seems more and more underwhelming.

[Why11]

Hi,
currently going something similar except Im not sure the woman (a friend of mine) finds me attractive. She tends to get physically close to me and it messes with my head. 

I absolutely love my husband, do not wanna leave him. But I feel this urge to experience smt with a woman. Im wondering if one day I will not just ask him his permission…
our sex life isn’t great though, because of me :/ idk sex seems more and more underwhelming

[BlueGrey1]

Just saw this post and wondering if OP is still with her husband after all this time and managed to get the work colleague out of her head?

[Why11]

Wondering the same!