Thinking about adopting & concerned about discrimination

[matt1011]

Hi,

My partner & I are thinking about adopting. It's something we both are really interested in. Ideally, we would be looking to adopt a 5/6 year old. We're concerned about our future child being bullied in school, for having same-sex parents.

I was wondering if anyone could share their thoughts on this important topic? Would sending our future child to a private school reduce bullying?

I would hope that this would not be an issue. My dd is in reception class, and one of her classmates has 2 dads. I answer her questions, she accepts that this is how it is, and will grow up knowing that families come in all shapes and sizes. ( as does ours, which is 'blended' , with wide age gaps, and 'cousins' used as a general catch all term, one who is adopted ) I guess very young children might find this easier to accepts than older children. I think that a lot depends on the personality and self esteem/ security of the child, as bullies exist on all types of schools and will always find some "reason" to single someone out. The response of their "victim" i guess is what determines whether they carry on. Not sure if that helps, Matt, just my thoughts :-)

I'm a gay parent to a one year old, and do worry about bullying later on for her. However my partner and I both work in schools, and I've said on here before that I can't believe the difference between the attitudes towards gay people when I was a pupil at school, and now. I am out to my students, and it could not be of less interest to them. In my day a teacher being gay would've been A grade gossip and scandal!
Unfortunately, many times it is easy to spot students who are likely to be bullied, because as tatyr says, it is about self esteem or lack thereof.
I spent several years wondering if I was doing the right thing before we started our family, but after years, I gradually realised that loving and supportive parents create a stable environment for confident and happy children (regardless of gender). The fact you are thinking about this already suggests you will be incredibly loving and thoughtful parents who will help to develop confidence in your future child.
HTH.

matt1011 why not post on the adoption s threads if you want more insight.

At our parenting group there was a gay couple and at a large profiling event I went to there were several gay couples.

Very sadly, kids can be bullied for a number of reasons; the fact you are aware of it as a possibility means you would hopefully prepare any child well. Good luck.