I'm a father, posting to ask for advice on my trans daughter.
My daughter, L, is approaching 16 and is in Year 10. She has spoken of being trans for around 2 years, is mildly on the ASD spectrum. L suffers from depression and severe social phobia, hasn't attended school for 18 months and shows no interest in education, but is academically gifted. Her school was a Boys Grammar, and they've been exceptionally supporting and have continued to offer her 1:1 teaching. She has had interaction with CAMHS, but sees no value in engaging with them for any form of talking therapy. L looks androgynous, and will use female bathrooms on the rare occasions she goes out.
I'm rather more accepting of L's gender than my wife is, and feel that L can open up more with me. She has one sibling, a 14 year old sister, and when she is interacting, can get on well with her. Her sister can, on limited occasions, express her frustration with the situation at home and not being able to go on family holidays.
I see a very low possibility of L interacting more, or getting back into any form of education, while she is living in this environment. Without meaning to, we seem to have created a toxic environment for her which reinforces a number of negative behaviours. We don't appear to be able to influence her in any way, and I keep thinking that her most likely outcome would be to be still locked in her bedroom with no outside contact apart from the internet in 10 years time.
I'm seriously considering that the best route for L may actually to be be placed with a foster family through social services, simply because another environment and set of people around her may help her realise the possibilities she has and what she has to offer. We've discussed placement with friends of family, but none are practical.
Has anyone been through a similar situation to this, with positive or negative results?
Thanks