Desperate for help - adjournment refused early postpartum

[Newmama2222]

I’m a single mum to a 3 year old from a previous relationship and a 11 week old baby who I had as a smbc.
I’m ebf my baby, who has colic, refuses bottles and has significant sleep difficulties. I’m extremely sleep-deprived and managing both children on my own.
It’s hard but I was ok. But then my eldest’s dad, who lives overseas, initiated child arrangements proceedings. We’re already in shuttle mediation which he initiated as well and have a 2hour session booked for Wednesday, hoping to agree a parenting plan without full court involvement.
Our first hearing is scheduled for Monday. My solicitor applied for an adjournment, supported by medical evidence from my GP, but on Wed a legal adviser refused the request. My baby and I have now both become unwell with a virus, making everything even more difficult.
There are also serious historical safeguarding concerns arising from my previous relationship, including coercive and controlling behaviour documented through my pregnancy and post partum period w my first. I haven’t yet had my Cafcass interview, and I don’t feel physically or emotionally ready to revisit and formally address these experiences while I’m so unwell and recently postpartum.
My solicitor has advised that it’s important to raise these concerns now, as leaving them out of my position statement could potentially make it harder to introduce them later or seek permission to file a C1A. I understand her reasoning, but I’m finding the pressure to set everything out at this stage incredibly difficult.
I also feel my ex’s refusal to agree to an adjournment despite knowing my circumstances and that we’re mediating is be part of the same pattern of controlling behaviour I experienced during our relationship.
The hearing is remote but the preparation has involved revisiting distressing experiences and communicating with lawyers, all while caring for two young children with very little sleep.
I’m not trying to avoid the proceedings or prevent my eldest having a relationship with her father. I just want some breathing space to recover and give mediation a genuine opportunity to succeed. I am also absolutely terrified the ps statement they wrote for me is going to inflame things even more. It’s been server to the court now but not yet my ex until Monday’s morning. I am torn as to whether I ask to tone in down espec given a lot was from 2022/23 anyway but I don’t know if that’s stupid of me.
Has anyone experienced anything similar? Is it normal for an adjournment to be refused in these circumstances? And has anyone been advised to include detailed historical safeguarding allegations in a position statement before their Cafcass interview or filing a C1A? I am so beyond stressed it’s sending me over the edge I just want peace and to look after my babies without fights.
would appreciate any thoughts or experiences

You poor thing, that is a huge amount to have to deal with and you obviously need to rest and have leave.
Your ex is incredibly cruel to take you to court when you are trying to look after your new born. And not agree to an adjournment even when you have been trying mediation. This is all on him and forms part of his post-separation abuse of you.

However, if there are relevant safeguarding issues you cannot simply raise them at a later date and expect the court or Cafcass to take them seriously. Because some people unfortunately make these things up and if you are not consistent then it is a credibility issue.
So trust in your solicitor, but do make them aware of how extremely difficult this is for you at the moment. Alert them if his abusive behaviour escalated, make sure you’re using a co-parenting app for all your communications with him so they are properly recorded etc

It sounds immensely hard OP but I am afraid that the legal system can be brutal at times. I suggest talking to your lawyer to find out exactly what is needed from you son that there can be no suggestions of non-coperation. Then in whatever moments you can, while feeding whatever, you jot down points.

A friend has just been through something similar, you absolutely do need to raise any safeguarding risks or domestic violence right at the beginning, sorry op. If you don’t, there’s a real risk the court won’t allow you to raise it later and you also risk being accused of parental alienation.
He very probably is using the court system to continue his abuse, unfortunately it’s not that uncommon.
I hope it goes well.