He changed the locks - can he?

[Lockchangequery]

NC as possibly outing. I’m hoping someone might have advice. I am waiting to hear back from solicitor but I can’t really afford much legal support.

I am divorcing my emotionally abusive ex husband. I have had to rent a house to give our DC stability because ex wouldn’t move out and it was too volatile at the house. He was physically abusive to DC as well as emotionally, and they choose not to see him (teenage years).

We own the house 50/50 Tenants in Common and there is no mortgage. There are no orders in place. House is on the market.

I went to collect a couple of things and he has changed all the locks. I’m in UK - England/Wales law.

Can he do this? What can I do?

I’ve still got so much stuff there. I took the minimum needed to set up in the rental.

I’m not a solicitor but I don’t believe he can. You need to wait for the solicitor to advise you

No, if its joint owned he cant, if he does, he has to give you a copy of the keys.

Thanks both. I’m not sure what I can do really. He’s a law unto himself. I can’t afford much legal help.

Thanks for answering 🙏

You can force the lock. Damaging your own property is absolutely fine. Or you can engage your local locksmith to change it.

I think that might escalate things too much and play into his tactic of goading me in an attempt to get me to act in ways that can feed his narrative of me being ‘mental’ etc.

If you’ve got the children a good solicitor should be able to get him out so you can move back in with the children. A judge may even make an order for you to remain in the house till the children finish school. I know solicitors are expensive but you have a lot to gain here potentially.

How is getting a locksmith when you are locked out "mental"???

Yes, I think that might be difficult. Taking steps to enter your own property is pretty normal.

I don’t know about owning a home but I know if it’s rented it’s not allowed (so assume it’s the same).

However, even in rented, the LL stays out of it the costs associated with re-changing the locks are down to you.

You’d have to tell a locksmith that you’ve lost your keys and change them- but if you’re not living there, is there any point?

Did you try the back door?

Forcing the lock is not a good idea. Even though you jointly own the property, this can still be classed as criminal damage.

If he refuses to give you a key you can get a court order forcing him to do so.

Nothing. But he will twist it somehow.

What order do I need to go for please? I don’t want to move back in. I just want to be able to get to my things.

Yes. And the garage where loads of my stuff is stored.

I’ve already moved out. I don’t want to go back. I just want to be able to have access to my stuff and check everything is ok (he’s not looking after it)

You can call the police and tell them that you’re afraid your husband will get violent if you get a locksmith to break the locks (which you are entitled to do). I have seen many instances where they attend the property to ensure peaceful entry, but it depends on how much capacity your local police force has.

Ultimately what you can do legally and what you can do morally are different.

He can’t legally keep you out without going to court, but equally for his own privacy he wouldn’t want you going in. My friend had to take her ex to court because he kept trying to gain access to the property even though they were separated and he had a new temporary home.

I would potentially be requesting access via a solicitor so that you can go in and remove your property, but not aim to enter again outside of a pre-notified time/date. I would also only ever enter with additional support from a friend/family member for your safety in case of an escalation.

Hope you get this sorted

Can you get legal aid if there has been abuse?

Can I ask you if her ex owned the home she was living in or if it was rented?

I think what I can’t get is how he’s able to live there rent free while I pay rent and change the locks on a house that I own too. I have this asset that I can’t use. Leaving me poorer.

In theory, I could just move back in, surely? If he wasn’t a tenant he’d have to notify me and give me copies.

I always gave him advanced notice when I was nipping in and I never went when he was there.

It just seems so cheeky. .

Politely ask for a key for yourself.
Ask for it to be left out on xx date so you can collect some personal items.
Take an adult male relative with you to retrieve your possessions.
Given that it is your home too. Have your soliciter request a copy for you to keep.

I have savings that I can’t get at so I think that rules me out.

I have asked him in a message to confirm that he has changed the locks first. I thought I should get it in writing and then I’ll ask for copies.

He isn’t just going ti do it. He’s been consistent in his behaviour and is trying to make life as difficult for me as possible. I think he’s trying to drain my money and my energy so I leave him there. He’s got a big family house on his own for free while I pay high rent on a small house and am draining my savings.

Why are you bothered about what he thinks or says? Do what you need to do for you. Does he have a solicitor? Send an email to his and explain you need a copy of the keys and you will be taking things from the property that are yours . Also mention that a financial agreement needs to be in place until the property is sold re rent.
You don’t need a solicitor to enforce the law. Research it yourself online, there is plenty of helpful sites to guide you through the process.

Can you ask the police to accompany you to access the house on a time when you know he'll be in?

It would be hard for him to twist a police visit as unreasonable, given that you're locked out.

Actually you ARE allowed to change the locks in a rented house. You need to change them back when you leave (if the landlord wants you to) and provide a key for emergency access but you can.

Police won't do that - they aren't private security, and this is a civil matter. Unless she has an active domestic abuse investigation going which it doesn't sound like she does.