Ex has heightened abuse now in court.

[HelenT2345]

Did anyone else experience this?
My abusive(everything but physical and sexual) ex has taken me to court for child contact and since this his abuse has become worse in every aspect! False reports, false concerns etc, wow I thought it was bad before! (yet stated no concerns at the start on form)
I'm not worried as I can evidence all that's he's said and he's been shut down so far, not by the court but his reports to other services. But it does worry me how low he's going to go!
Did they get found out through the process? Looking for some hope!

They ramp it up when you leave OP. Get some support from womens aid.

Have you stopped contact? If so, unless you have evidence from professionals of safety concerns for your kids, a judge will be more likely to judge you than your ex.

Men do this when they feel they have lost control - he still sees you both as his possessions.

Try to ignore. They will show themselves up in court, you just stay calm and let them rant. Judges see it every time. Imagine he is a large toddler throwing a tanty - effectively what he is doing and just ride it out with no contact. Every contact you make he will jump on and twist it leaving you feeling you need to explain, so just shut down all communication. As pp said, get some support from WA or similar local services. Good luck.

Its a type of disordered thinking, very similar to the childhood meltdowns a toddler has. It's irrational and ridiculous but the more they get told no, the more angry and self righteous they get. And they truly believe the shit they come out with.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things and have all the right evidence so well done.

Do be prepared for him to completely exit the children's lives, except to make your life difficult,, afterwards.

Agree with the above, sadly once they start off acting like this it shows how they intend to proceed. It will be about hounding you for life and turning the kids into weapons to hurt you. You need to be able to see that for what it is every time and detach because they never are actually thinking about the kids, everything becomes a game to attack you and make them feel they are "winning". It's pathetic but very common.

Mine only stopped when the police got involved.

im so sorry op that you are going though this. I hope you get some peace soon .

Sadly, it’s a well known fact that perpetrators of DA continue to use the family courts by proxy to carry on their abuse. I‘m on the other side and whilst my ex has only public and (by his choice) sporadic contact with the kids - no overnights and never going to his home I can only say that the courts want to look at the interests of the kids and „how to look at the future“ „parenting together for the sake of the children and putting your differences aside“, blah blah.. ie. absolutely zero accountability regarding retrospective behaviour. Nada.

OP is he turning up at your house at all? Mine did that after over a decade of not wanting to see DC and couldn't understand why we all found it threatening. Apparently it is quite common for men to almost stalk women and kids when they start proceedings. The Judge was very keen to see the doorbell footage, which showed he was indeed hanging about despite screaming at me I was lying in the Court. If you don't have one, maybe get a no subscription one or have a camera out of a window that can watch who is coming and going. I felt safer for having it.

It can be very hard to keep the kids out of it, so try to just say minimum to them about his behaviour. They will be more wise to what is going on than you think and anything you say to them about his erratic behaviour could be used by him to say you are trying to turn them against him. Courts see this nearly every time when men are saying they have been persecuted. Kids figure it all out eventually even if you try to put a good spin on their dad's behaviour.

Thanks all for your commments! No we do drop offs publicly, he is still having his normal contact (no overnights) currently. However is even using this now to score points/take false notes. It's ridiculous

Does he have another partner yet? Mine ramped up with one partner then ditched his children with the other partner they dont fit into his new life never took it to court though he knew the judge would give him contact with his children and despite his constant screamings he actually doesn't want that

It sounds like you're doing the right thing by staying calm and keeping your evidence. Since he's taking "notes" at handovers, the best answer is a boring, factual record of your own. I found that out in my own case.

• Log each handover the same day: the time, the place, who was there, whether it went to plan, and anything notable, word for word if something was said. Stick to facts, so "arrived 10:25 for a 10:00 handover", not "he was late again to wind me up."
• Keep the outcome of each false report. If a service looked into something he reported and closed it, note the date and outcome and keep any letter or email that confirms it. That paper trail is far stronger than saying "he's lying."
• Keep the message threads whole and export them, rather than relying on screenshots alone, because context matters.
• Don't reply to provocation. Anything you write could end up in front of a judge, so keep messages short, polite and about the children.

Your solicitor, or Rights of Women if you don't have one, can tell you which of it is worth putting in a statement. Women's Aid is good on post-separation abuse through the courts.

Not legal advice, just experience.

I was watching a young woman on Instagram the other who was having to hand a young baby over for access to her ex partner, and she only felt safe doing so in the lobby of a Police station. On one video he literally snatches the baby out of her arms, and she's left weeping. It's terrifying that the courts don't see what these men are doing and put a stop to it. It's never about the kids, let's be honest. It's pure and utter rage at being left.

So sorry you are dealing with this OP. Keeping everything in writing and well-documented is really helpful when countering false allegations for CAFCASS or your solicitor. One practical tip if you have long SMS/RCS threads on Android: taking dozens of overlapping screenshots can quickly get muddled in a court bundle. Text messages can be produced as evidence when properly authenticated — their weight and admissibility are always for the court to decide. Not legal advice. MessageCopy Pro (messagecopypro.com) exports long Google Messages Web (SMS/RCS) threads into a single chronological, timestamped PDF with a SHA-256 hash to detect any subsequent modification (free discovery version up to 25 messages with no card or registration). Stay calm, keep a factual log of everything, and let his behaviour speak for itself.

Judges absolutely do not ‘see it every time’