"...but I’d love to hear from anyone who’s done this already? Or has anyone got experience of being a Trustee in this scenario?"
My parents did this (although we aren't a blended family) and my sibling and I were the executors when my dad died.
It's been a very straightforward thing to deal with. I would also suggest that you look for a STEP qualified solicitor to write the will.
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"an Assest Protection Trust (or Lifetime Trust) setup in a Will?"
An Asset Protection Trust is usually set up during your lifetime and it is entirely different to the sort of trust that is set up in a will.
I would suggest that you do not want to touch an Asset Protection Trust at all. What you do want is the sort of trust that is set up by a will (this is typically called an Immediate Post-Death Interest Trust).
In this situation you need to change the ownership of your home so that you own 50% each (although you can have whatever percentage share that you want).
In England & Wales, most homes are owned by a couple as "joint tenants". This is where you both jointly own the whole house (just like a joint bank account). So, when one of you passes away the house automatically goes to the surviving spouse.
If you own the house as joint tenants then the house automatically passes to the surviving spouse regardless of what any will might say.
So, if your DH were to pass away first then you would get everything and it would be quite open to you to get involved with a younger gigolo and then leave everything to your young lover (or the local cat's home charity etc) when you eventually pass away so that your children get nothing.
I'm sure that you wouldn't do anything like that but you do read stories on MN about that happening.
Likewise, you could pass away first and then your DH remarries and leaves everything to his new wife. Again, plenty of stories on MN about this as well.
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The other way to own a home is as "tenants in common". In this situation you each own a separate 50% of the home and you can leave your own 50% to whoever you like. In this situation it is usual for each spouse to leave their 50% to their children (but you can leave it to whoever you like).
So, if your DH were to pass away first, then you could still give your 50% of the house to your gigolo but you couldn't give your DH's half of the house to him. Likewise if you were to pass away first then it would protect 50% of the house going to any new wife.
In the same way that 50% of the house is protected from any gigolo or fancy woman (or cat's home charity) like this it is also protected from being taken for care fees.
OK, so where does the trust come in?
This is largely to protect the surviving spouse from being turned out of the home.
There is nothing at all to stop you leaving your 50% directly to your children. Assuming that they're over the age of 18 then your share of the house passes directly to them in your will.
This means that they own 50% of the house and your surviving DH owns the other 50%.
They can then get a court order to force the sale of the house and turn your DH out. (or vice versa if you're the surviving spouse).
The trust stops this from happening. It says that the surviving spouse has the right to continue living in the house until his death (or other event mentioned in the will eg remarriage). This stops them being kicked out of the house by the children.