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Original poster

Would money loaned to my son be protected in divorce?

29 replies

grrnchange · 25/07/2026 09:35

I lent my DS a lot of money to pay off his mortgage and do some home improvements. There is no formal agreement, but he has been paying it back regularly. It will take quite some years to pay it back though, and as I am older, it might not be fully paid off before my death.

He is now going to be married (quite unexpectedly), and whilst I am happy for him, I am realistic in what might happen with any marriage. If the worst happens and they divorce, will I lose this money?

OP posts:
WhistPie · 26/07/2026 14:41

Backedoffhackedoff · 26/07/2026 13:16

Well that’s useless too. You’re all getting shitty with people without having good advice to back it up

Show quote history

Charming

I've advised to document the loan, rather than leaving it as a nebulous 'everyone knows' - the same as the mumsnet resident legal expert prh47bridge subsequently did.

FalseSpring · 26/07/2026 15:25

There are potential benefits in getting the loan made into a formal mortgage on the house.

It will protect the loan amount in the event of divorce as a loan will reduce his assets available to be split. This will benefit him rather than you so gives you a good reason to approach him with the idea.

It will also document the amount due so on your death, it can be netted off against his share of your estate to ensure your children inherit equally. Obviously the agreement should also note a repayment schedule so the amount outstanding can reduce over time.

It doesn't have to change the arrangement you have, just ensure it is documented clearly. It is worth getting a solicitor to do all the paperwork properly.

Original poster
grrnchange · 27/07/2026 18:18

Luckydog7 · 26/07/2026 09:58

If you lent him a large amount for the house purchase then presumably you/he needed to sign something to evidence that your contribution was a gift to show the source of the money (as part of money laundering protection) to the conveyancers.

If this is the case then legally it is a gift and you may be on dodgy ground claiming it is a loan. In actual fact legally he is paying you a gift of cash every month and this has nothing to do with the house money.

If so he can legally stop this whenever he wants and there's nothing he can do about it. His new wife would be reasonable to ask her husband to stop gifting his mother hundreds of pounds a month and if they spilt in a few years or after kids then he may struggle to afford to repay anyway and may be forced to stop paying even if he acknowledged the moral need to repay.

You can only rely on his goodwill to pay. Requesting a lien on the house or a way to formalise the loan will only sour the relationship and would require his consent. I can't see a legal justification for the lien and he would be stupid to agree to one.

The only sensible thing to do is to sort it out via your will. I'm confused that you managed to pay your child such a substantial amount of money to buy a house that you left yourself without enough to afford to rewrite your will...how/why did you do this?

There are cheap/free will writing services or ones that will take a contribution from your estate after you die instead of up front payment. This might be an easier option.

I didn't say I couldn't afford to pay a solicitor, just that I would rather not have had to involve one, but I have since said that I will consult a solicitor and take their advice about the best thing to do.

OP posts:
Lily782 · 31/07/2026 12:54

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