Husband continuing to refuse to pay mortgage

[ThisOliveHelper]

Hi all. Please can I get some urgent advice. I have been married for a year and a half and my husband and I have a mortgage. He usually pays 66% of it and i pay 33% of it proportional to our salaries. He earns 3x the amount I do but has always wanted me to pay 50% of it. Since we separated in April 2025 he hasn't been consistently paying me for all council tax and water bills that are in my name. The mortgage was originally coming out from his bank account and I would transfer my proportion to him but he has taken the direct debit off his account in september and is demanding I pay 50% of the mortgage.

On the advice of my solicitor I paid 50% last month and he did 50%. He is continuing to finscially coerce me and now he is demanding I do 50% of all bills and the mortgage gping forward. He still hasnt paid me for some other bills last month. As of today there is a shortfall lf about £400 on the mortgage account. Ive paif my 33% today so that has temporarily removed the shortfall but clearly over the coming months this amount will just continue to rise and go into arrears.

My solicitor has suggested I pay the mortgage at 50% and try and recoup the costs through the small claims court later. My husband toom me payong 50% last month and just ran away with it qhich is why he is demanding 50% for everything going forward. Im not really happy with my solcitors approach. The other thing they suggested was maintenance pending suit but im not sure how succeasful this would be and want to keep things out of court if possible. Outside of this is there anything else that i can do?

Ive spent £2000 on the solicitor so far and am also wondeing whether I need to change solicitor because ive lost faith in their approsch tbh.

Well surely your agreement to pay proportionally stood while you were together, you're now not and are equally liable in the eyes of the mortgage company. I think your solicitor is right pay your half and just raise it in the settlement agreements

Are you both still living in the house? Basically you need to get it sold asap.

who's living in the house and do you have kids together?

No neither of us live there and he is being difficult when it comes to selling it. He has been dragging his feet over selling it for about 2 months now. I think he is slowly coming round tonselling it though

Nope no kids. Short marriage - been married approx 18 months.

All bets are off now you are separated he's no longer willing to pay more than half. I think you will have to pay half until there is a legal settlement between you there is no assumption that you should pay less just because you earn less. I'm not sure you will get much from a settlement if you have only been married a year and I assume no children, probably better to just cut your losses and If you can't afford the house sell it and move on.

Would you consider yourself a 50:50 split in ownership? When the house sells you do you want the remainder split after paying the mortgage?

We own the house as joint tenants. I was under the impression that i would not be able to get anywhere near 50% in a divorce settlement as wrve been narried such a short time.

You are joint tenants? So ownership is 50/50 he would have to prove that the plan was rhe mortgage payments reflect the planned split which given it would have been easy to be tenants in common and there was no coercion for joint tenants difficult to do

After such a short marriage how much you get will depend on how the deposit was split, how much you've each paid and any major renovation expenses. Why can't you just start the process to sell yourself? At least start talking to estate agents, getting valuations and photos taken.

You should be paying 50% if you own half of it and have now separated so are not a couple.

Unfortunately him paying 66% was an arrangement between yourselves as a couple in a relationship.
It wouldn't apply when you are no longer together, I would imagine you need to pay 50% and get it sold ASAP.

How much equity is in the property? That will guide how much you might want to protect it or not.
If it not much, I’d stop paying everything, let it go in arrears. Play chicken basically. I’d bet as the much higher earner he’s more interested in protecting his credit rating than you are. If he takes it to court you say you didn’t have the money and it wasn’t what was agreed anyway. Just sit back and do nothing.

I don't get why you think you're the hard done by one here really.

You're joint tenants, so you own the property 50/50. Therefore you're responsible for 50% of the mortgage and 50% of the bills.

I get that you had an arrangement when you were together, but if the relationships over, why would you expect that to continue. If he keeps paying 2/3rds of the mortgage, he's effectively just giving you money every month, at no benefit to him.

Why would he do that?

Sell the house asap because if you go into mortgage arrears both of your credit scores will be negatively affected and you are likely to struggle to get future credit (including mortgages) on decent terms. You can’t make him pay 50% (or any %) but it’s in your interests to ensure the mortgage is paid.

Did you post this before?
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5404697-mortgage-issues-when-separating

Because i am covering the council tax and bills which he is not paying me bsck for. He has financially abused me. He earns 3x my wage and agreed to aplit things in a 66:33 ratio given he earns signficsntly more than me. He has admitted that he doesnt want to pay the mortgage and doesnt want to live in the house aith ne and this is why he wanta a divorce. He wants me to live with my parents for 3 years and then reunite in a different psrt of the country with him, having sold our current home at a loss. He has literally said he wsnts to divorce be ause he cant handle the adult responsibilities of a mortgage.

He wants me to walk away with 21% equity when all is said and done which is why i dont undetstand why hr wants me to pay 50%

Not much. Its about one fifth of the total property value. What im scared about is the mortgage defaulting and going into arrears and me not being abke tonget anothwr property for 6 years or having nybcredit forever ruined.

But you are joint tenants?

This is all a bit mad.
so the house is standing empty, you’re both paying for separate living elsewhere and for an empty house? And you’re not pushing forward with selling it?

He earns 3x my wage and agreed to aplit things in a 66:33 ratio given he earns signficsntly more than me.

But that sort of arrangement would only stand whilst you are in a relationship. He's not going to 'sub' a person he is divorcing.

Pay 50-50 as you are both equally liable, then get the house sold asap.

OP there is nothing you can do but grit your teeth and hold on until it’s sold

yes mortgage arrears will damage both of your mortgages raising ability- maybe he doesn’t care about this but maybe he does. You won’t know until you call his bluff.

keep paying 50% - as is fair- and progress the sale. Presumably you will have to go to court to force him to sell?

It’s not up to him how much equity you walk away with you do not believe any bill splitting deal reflecting the future equity split that he may offer.

you do have to pay 50% though- blimey if he stoops paying you’ll need to pay as much as you can of it.

it’s shit, but its marriage unfortunately. When it ends all deals are off

Other than the council tax and standing charges, you can't be paying that much out in bills as neither of you are living in the property.
And these you will be able to get something back as you can put them is the financial agreement.

The getting back together etc. I would assume is a none starter and not worth worrying about.

I have to get his consent to sell, as we are joint tenants, which he is refusing. I asked for ginancial disclosure with the banks to switch to interesr onky to make the payments more manageable for me and he has declined this.