Deceitful behaviour from school - don't know where to turn

[godofthunder24]

Hi,

My son's school denied him access for 3 days last year due to his mum having COVID. Following our own research we determined that it was unlawful for the school to deny access for this reason.

Once we presented the legal advice to the school they changed their advice and altered their criteria for allowing my son back into school. It seems very clear to me that they were concerned about the repercussions of unlawful actions and tried to misrepresent their original instructions.

I complained to the school and I've gone through the complaints process with the chair of governors, a complaints panel and the DfE.

The governors have consistently provided inaccurate information during the complaints process which I strongly believe is their attempt to cover up the schools original actions. The governors have access to all of the evidence which is in email form but they continue to misrepresent that evidence.

The DfE have confirmed that the decision to deny access was unlawful.

The Local Authority are not willing to do any other than ensure the school is adhering to the complaints process from now forwards.

I am literally sick to death of feeling wronged by the school and not having a channel that will listen to me and go through the evidence in sufficient detail.

I don't really want to go down the legal route myself but feel like I'm running out of options. Would be great to hear any advice from someone in the know or someone who has been through something similar.

Many thanks,
Ian.

I see you are still banging on about exclusion. Your son being told (wrongly) to stay off for three days wasn’t an exclusion. An exclusion is a form of punishment for which the school, governors and LEA will follow strict processes. So if you have kept insisting they excluded him, using that terminology, and they keep saying no, and that’s why you think they have lied, then you are wrong. They did not exclude him in the formal way you are saying they did when you use the word “excluded” and that’s why you will never win this argument with them.

Ian: Well I've been waiting for someone to write a load of bollocks and here you are

In Ian’s mind: I’m not vindictive, I’m a non caped crusader for truth, justice and the Ian way.

In everyone else’s: plonker.

I've changed my mind, Isn should carry on with pursuing his vexation because the school are clearly used to his nonsense and will deal with it in the way it deserves and it stops him harassing anyone else.

Would love to know what Ian’s manager says down the pub…

I think you need to seek support for your mental health. Your reaction is absolutely disproportionate to the ‘offence’ caused. I could understand your upset more if it caused your son to miss the 3 A level papers he needed to study medicine at Cambridge University, but he didn’t miss anything educational at all, and he’s not even at the school any more. You are now wasting the school’s time and resources which could be better spent on the pupils still there.

I’m not entirely sure what you would achieve by going to court and I don’t even know what ‘offence’ you could cite, but it would be hard to describe the case as serious enough and even then you’d just be wasting more people’s time and resources. You certainly wouldn’t get any money from it. Are you really putting yourself (and probably your poor wife) through this in the hope of getting a ‘we’re sorry’ almost a year down the line? I’m sure all schools have 10-20 of parents/cases like this going on at any one time, for real or perceived wrongdoings and the vast majority will go absolutely nowhere - it’s not like your son sustained an injury or the school put him at risk of serious harm; if anything they were just too cautious and trying to protect the other pupils and staff. Schools are all just trying to do the best they can with what they’ve got.

I imagine you carping on about it for the best part of a year is what really affected her.

Just let it go. Imagine putting this much energy into something when your son isn't even AT the school anymore.

The best thing you can do for your son is set an example of how to let things go, it’s a valuable life lesson

I am 100% positive he is not still thinking about this

I’m so sorry to hear your ds missed that really important time in the last weeks of Year 6. This would also really upset my children if it happened to them and I would be really upset for them as would their dad. As your wife worked at the school too I can also see that this was a really hard situation for her too in that respect and particularly difficult for you all as a family.

In my case I needed to find a way to process the lie told by the health care professional in relation to me and in the end I did that by talking to someone about it. There is a helpline for the health issue that I was having. Calling them and having someone ‘hear’ me out really did help.

I wonder if this kind of thing is what you need emotionally to get closure here and while I appreciate it may not be something you would usually do I wonder if at least worth considering some counselling so you can put your feelings to rest. My husband did some about something else and while he was sceptical it did really help him.

@prh47bridge just tagging you into this thread in case you have any thoughts that might help the op.

Change schools if you can - you will never trust them again.

They are 100% arse covering, like a lot of schools who think they are God and can operate outside the law. Now, they don't want their reputation to suffer.

But first, don't let them off the hook - ask for ALL communicaton under GDPR ico.org.uk/for-the-public/getting-copies-of-your-information-subject-access-request/ about your son including, but not limited to:

1. School's pupil management system with EVRY reference to your son.

1. Every communication from every member of staff regarding excluding your son

Share this link, ico.org.uk/for-the-public/getting-copies-of-your-information-subject-access-request/ so they know you know what your rights are: they have a month to respond, and within that month, if they think it will take longer, they have to tell you and they have 2 more months to get it all to you, with context.

"...under the ICO Subject Access Request, I expect to have all of this information sent to me by (quote date of 1 month from the day of your request). Should you need extra time to process this, I expect to hear before (quote same date) and the date I will get this in

They are allowed to charge a maximum of £10 for admin/time.

"I understand you may charge a nominal sum for your time / admin costs. Please let me know what this will be, and how to pay you. I understand from x that this does not affect the time frame of 1 month to hear from you, or 3 months, as long as you have notified me of this within a month.

I look forward to hearing from you regarding this matter.

Yours sincerely,

etc"

At this point they will be realising they are finding out from effing around.

Don't let them off the hook, keep quoting the Data Subject Access Request.

Good luck!

I work in a hospital, including close contact with patients on immune suppressing drugs and staff members don't test themselves for COVID any more , although I suppose there is a possibility that if you worked on a unit where people are having chemotherapy it might be different. I don't think your school is a higher risk than my dept full of immune suppressed people, and you are really over-estimating the risk here.

I have plenty of respect for COVID as a front line doctor and having seen lots of deaths from it, but it is no longer the same disease that it was in 2020 - people have been vaccinated and exposed, and severe COVID is incredibly rare now, even in immunosuppressed patients.

@Silversixpenny you might want to read the full thread. The child is now in high school. Most posters agree Ian’s reaction is extreme.

@godofthunder24

I think you have been given a hard time about this on here. I understand why you were upset about the school lying.

As an ex teacher primary teacher myself I can completely believe that the school lied and then refused to admit it. It’s what most senior leaders do to cover their backs. And governors are often ‘yes people’ chosen to toe the line. You definitely won’t get anywhere with most governors. Most heads think they are above the rules and law and are untouchable. I’ve seen it many many times. A lowly parent trying to question something will get nowhere. They will never admit it.

That said. I would draw a line under this situation now. You will make yourself ill and your battle will be futile. Senior leaders can get away with anything nearly without recourse.

Blimey, you’re very intense aren’t you!
Wife phones in sick, tells school she has Covid.
School tells her it would be best if DS stays off school too - they are concerned that he may unknowingly have Covid which he could pass on the his classmates / teachers just before the summer holidays. They want to avoid this. Very sensible course of action.
Ian decides school has acted unlawfully - not sure what law he’s talking about though?
Ian not happy, so spends massively unreasonable amount of time hounding the school / governors / DfE to extract an apology.
12 months later, Ian still demanding an apology.
Meanwhile DS now at new school, Ian constantly on phone complaining about other trivial issues to new school on a daily basis.
Batshit, Ian!!!

I've worked in schools for decades. I can say from my vast experience no matter what the OP does or does not do the school will not learn from this situation. Schools aren't people they don't have memories and they don't learn stuff.
I have encountered truly shocking things and appalling decisions in schools directly or heard from reliable sources. I don't know if you recall the scandal of that school who allowed police to strip search a teenage girl? I always think that was pretty bad. It wasn't my school and I'm confident it wouldn't happen at my school, but those sorts of mistakes happen let allow this incident.
My advice for what it is worth is to give this up for your sake and that of your family.

Don’t forget wife also resigned immediately from a long term position.

What a lot of stress for the family, over a probably off the cuff decision, because as you say about to start school holidays, lots travelling by plane etc very soon after and could be too unwell.

I think the issue here is a conflating of terms. You want the school to admit they incorrectly excluded your son. In an educational sense they didn't and will never say they did because in education 'exclusion' means he was suspended. This comes with paperwork, reintegration meetings, something being put on his educational record. Your son was not excluded. Your son was asked to stay away in the same way that children with d&v are asked to stay away for 48 hours to prevent infection being spread around school.

It looks as though in telling the school about covid status (when it wasn't a requirement and the school had already said not to have time off unless actually ill) the idea was for your wife to have time off but it backfired when the school used previous covid policy to also ask your son to remain home.

You say the school emailed to say that the reason your son was asked to stay home was because your wife told them she had covid and that they are blaming her... factually they are correct. Had your wife not told them she had covid, your son would not have been asked to also stay home- this is a statement of fact rather than an attribution of blame.

The school used outdated covid policy to ask your son to stay home. It is unfortunate but as a result of your complaint they acknowledged their error and updated their policy. That is your victory.

They can't reverse time or throw your son the party he missed. Take the change in policy as their admittance you were right and move on

I hate to break it to you Ian, but in 35 years of being a teacher, I’ve NEVER seen, let alone signed a Code of Conduct. I sign a contract and that’s it.

Ian as per the great Frozen song,

Let it go

Except three days of school. 😅

What are you hoping to achieve………..compensation? That would be highly unlikely to happen and taking legal action would cost you a considerable amount.
The school have made changes, let this go and get on with life.

.

Legal action against a school over 3 days of missed school due to a policy aimed at spreading disease spread. Whilst the policy was out of date I think this would be laughed out of court. I imagine the school would be awarded costs against you.

You don't need any more options you have already wasted enough of your own and everyone else's time.

Honestly OP this does sound really tough and I would also have been furious with the school and massively frustrated at the powerlessness: they wouldn’t shift and you had to fight and fight.

I think though, that you really need to decide what you’re willing to sacrifice to win this battle. How much is it still occupying you a year later, how much is it influencing your current relationship with your wife and son? How would they feel about you deciding it’s utterly unfair and the school behaved badly but it’s time to put it behind you? There are some things which never come to resolution in the way we want, and this looks like it could be one of them. You have lots of people who are neutral observers saying: wait a minute, is it really in your best interests or your family’s interests to keep fighting this? Do listen, as we’re not really a nest of vipers on mumsnet.

i hope your ds is doing well at secondary school and enjoys the Y7 summer term activities.

I think you need to get a grip to be honest. Utterly ridiculous all this over 3 days off.
All you are teaching your child is a poor me victim mindset that isn't going to get them anywhere in life. Maybe try demonstrating a bit of resilience.
Stop wasting your own and the schools time with this utter nonsense.

Trust me, batshit parents are always on the agenda in the staffroom conversations!

It is well past time to move on here op. No benefit will come of you further pouring emotional energy into this. Your son was upset for a few days mid last year, it’s a tiny blip in his existence.