Deceitful behaviour from school - don't know where to turn

[godofthunder24]

Hi,

My son's school denied him access for 3 days last year due to his mum having COVID. Following our own research we determined that it was unlawful for the school to deny access for this reason.

Once we presented the legal advice to the school they changed their advice and altered their criteria for allowing my son back into school. It seems very clear to me that they were concerned about the repercussions of unlawful actions and tried to misrepresent their original instructions.

I complained to the school and I've gone through the complaints process with the chair of governors, a complaints panel and the DfE.

The governors have consistently provided inaccurate information during the complaints process which I strongly believe is their attempt to cover up the schools original actions. The governors have access to all of the evidence which is in email form but they continue to misrepresent that evidence.

The DfE have confirmed that the decision to deny access was unlawful.

The Local Authority are not willing to do any other than ensure the school is adhering to the complaints process from now forwards.

I am literally sick to death of feeling wronged by the school and not having a channel that will listen to me and go through the evidence in sufficient detail.

I don't really want to go down the legal route myself but feel like I'm running out of options. Would be great to hear any advice from someone in the know or someone who has been through something similar.

Many thanks,
Ian.

Well I've been waiting for someone to write a load of bollocks and here you are.

So many people have responded in good faith, and tried to explain

I won't try again.

OP, get over yourself. It's all about your ego. I feel sorry for your wife and son, you must be a nightmare to live with

Honestly, you are the one suffering the most here. You are clearly very upset. You aren't going to achieve anything else at this point. Your son has lost those days. I'm sorry. My son missed all 'cool activities' from his yr6 experience as well during the first covid lockdown so I do understand the sadness, but you can't turn back time here.

You will get no satisfaction out of this, only more stress.

Jesus you have a lot of time on your hands. Majority think it’s pathetic and let it go. Yet you still insist it’s right for you to make a mountain out of a molehill. So carry on and keep a forum for advice out of it if you have no interest in taking it.

id suggest a hobby too. Maybe something to stop you being an absolute pest!

We'll have to disagree then. You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

Nope the writing of bollocks started with you but I agree with the poster - best to escalate all the way to the PM just to prove yourself right.

Your complete and utter inability to listen to everyone on this post and continually defend your non sensical position is about a hundred steps past stubborn.

Sounds like the school was trying to do the right thing, even if they got it wrong on this occasion.

Honestly, if your son was "really upset" from missing out on 3 days of school, it sounds like you have bigger issues. Not to be rude, but is it possible you have MH issues? Best thing you could do for your son, is to let the pointless argument with the school go, and deal with whatever the 'real' issue with you is. Children can pick up when something isn't right, and the level of stress you are describing over a non-issue, isn't healthy for him to be witnessing and living with.

What does your wife want you to do now Ian?

You need to look at it from the school's perspective, just for a second. What is it about your determination to be acknowledged as the one in the right that makes you think they believe your assertion that the apology is all you want? They deal with all sorts of parents, some of whom are obstructive and vexatious just for the hell of it. They also have much bigger fish to fry. What they don't want is to bring more crap on their heads by openly saying they messed up. They probably wouldn't have predicted you'd take all this so much to heart. You've become an unknown quantity.

Thank you

You do need to be a little careful here your son is heading into his teen years presumably he has witnessed your extreme reaction to this - he’s not going to be confiding in you about anything else is he? For fear of triggering another dramatic 6 months. It’s so important for teens to be able to tell their parents stuff - your extreme behaviour may mean your son just doesn’t confide in you which is risky.

Good lord, 3 days last year and he isn’t at the school anymore? Get a life!
I’m not really sure what you want or what you will gain by keeping this going??
On the plus side, you’ve given the teachers something to smile about in the staff room, which in an already stressful job is a blessing.

Right 😂

What an utter waste of everyone's time for absolutely nothing. All that energy spent dealing with a complaint that will have no meaningful end when it could have been spent on actually educating children. Hours and hours of time, not to mention the emotional cost.

@godofthunder24 can I ask what law you think was broken?

I think you are incredibly lucky that this 'issue' is something you've been able to spend so much time and energy on. Most people have real problems.

Does anyone test for covid theses days?

Yes Ian because some people are still vulnerable by his own admission but when the school actively ask his son who has been in close proximity to someone with Covid to stay off school and avoid making others ill, hey some maybe even vulnerable, they’re law breaking deceitful arseholes

double standards!

They won’t admit or do anything that could be seen as an admission whilst you are threatening them with legal action.

They got it wrong, someone applied the old covid rules when they shouldn’t have. Bit rubbish for your son but shit happens and this is very much not the worst thing that can happen to a 10 year old. You’ve escalated this to an unbelievable degree, headteacher, governors DFE all involved for something that isn’t fixable and concerns a school your son doesn’t even now attend, it’s completely disproportionate. In my experience people usually behave like this either because they think there is some money in it or it’s a distraction or diversion from something else going on in their lives.

You need to take a huge step back and move on. Life is short, childhood is short, accept things go wrong and people don’t always behave in the way you want and you can’t bully them into doing what you deem appropriate. You don’t need closure because your son missed three days of school last July. Model resilience and a sense of proportion to your child and put your time and energy into something more worthwhile.

The school and teachers have got on with their lives. The only person being affected by all this is you. Let's say the school does apologise, the 3 days are lost now anyway. In the process of forgiving the school, the weight will be lifted from you. They did what they thought was right at the time rightly or wrongly.

If my kids miss out on something, my job as the parent is to give perspective and rationalise. It was only 3 days out of 7 years at years at Primary school. Don't let this over shadow his whole time at the school.

So you told them because some people are vulnerable and they protected those vulnerable people and you are cross that they did?

If you aim was to protect vulnerable people and they did just that wouldn't you say you achieved your aim?

This is so sad. Imagine the life that 9 year old is living day to day!

Your son was a reported close contact when guidelines changed so much in schools it was hard to keep up.

I can’t believe your wife left her job for this, your justice sensitivity is beyond the normal range. I would look into this further because the world won’t stop while you wait for apologies!

If you are responsible people then you would totally understand why your son needed the time off so nobody vulnerable caught the COVID.........

For you to have had concerns enough over your wife having covid and then to tell the school. What exactly did you want them to do at that point?
Because all I can see is that you told the school that your wife had a highly contagious illness that had kept her bedbound, your son was in close contact with your wife, enough for you to raise it with the school and they took the decision to say he should stay home and not risk passing it around to everyone else the week before summer holidays.

You also don't know the medical concerns or issues that the school might be aware of, of other families and children and they wouldnt disclose them to you. There might have been a child with a parent or sibling who was in palative care, or a child with immune issues. Once you raised it then they decided it best that he stays at home, for whatever reason that they have not disclosed to you.
If a child has sickness or diorreah, they are asked to stay home for 72 hours as standard practice, covid can cause sickness and diorreah and many more things. I have had full covid before i was vaccinated and it was absolute hell for 2 weeks and I honestly have never been that ill.
I think you don't have the full picture here and are fixated on your son being upset for three days. Kids get upset, they then get over it.
It was just three days. It sounds pretty reasonable to me after you raised a concern that they then said to stay home for three days.
As for the governers lying etc, school governers are volunteers, often parents, they arent government officials or legal experts or detectives or medical officers.