Trouble with step-daughter who’s contesting a Will

[FluentAzureOP]

Hello everyone, I’m hoping the hivemind has some suggestions for this as it’s deeply troubling. My friend’s dad has recently lost his wife after nearly 20 years of married life. He loved her deeply and is still grieving her death. In fact it’s hitting him hard again as the first anniversary of her death draws near.

He and his wife made ‘mirror wills’ which left everything to the other one and named the surviving spouse as Executor. As far as I know, the wills were properly written out by a solicitor and signed and witnessed properly. A short while ago he decided to apply for Probate believing that he needed it to legally administer the will only to find that his step-daughter had blocked his application. This is the latest attack on him by the woman concerned. She previously suggested that he would dispose of her mother’s belongings to his own family and not her’s, she has accused him of stealing a family heirloom and has said that she doubts he will pass on a valuable piece of men’s jewellery to his step-son. She has also taken some jewellery items.

He has been deeply upset by this. He’s grieving for his wife and has tried to explain that he would never just discard anything of his wife’s, and if there’s anything in particular his step daughter wanted just to write it down in a list and he will either give it to her or leave it to her in his own will as he will have to make a new one.

He always treated his step-daughter with honesty and affection, regarding her as essentially his one of his own children, and has been generous and supportive to her, as he was to his wife, and has no idea what’s behind it all, except, perhaps, that his wife’s former husband is guiding it from behind the scenes.

His feels a deep sense of betrayal and the relationship has got so bad that he regards his step-daughter with total contempt now. He’s written to her solicitor (who blocked the Probate application) asking what the grounds for contesting the will are and they seem to be ignoring his letters.

He understands that the will cannot be contested as his wife was in good physical and mental health when she made it. Does anyone have any sensible advice for him (apart from just ‘go and see a solicitor)?

Thank you in advance 😊🙏🏻

Why are you so involved in your friend’s Dad’s affairs?

Normally, probate isn't need between husband and wife if all assets are jointly owned. If there were assets over £10,000 owned by him then yes probate would be needed.
Is there more to this? It's going to cost them to challenge.

It all sounds a bit of a mess and like she should have discussed her wishes openly with her daughter when making the will. I find it odd her mum did not make any provisions for her in the will though unless they had a poor relationship and i’m surprised the solicitor didn’t mention doing this. My own mum had a very clear will made & made sure that she bought the house as tenants in common, so in the event anything happened to her, my “stepdad” would be forced to sell and give me half in order to protect my inheritance to avoid it sailing off to his family in the future. Unfortunately debates over money always bring out the worst in people. If he is decent, then he should surely be giving the daughter any sentimental items of her mother’s now, why would he hang on to them until he dies.

So she was disinherited? Thats shitty. Why wont he hand over the things she wants now? Why say he will leave them in his will? They are her mum‘s who has died. His behaviour is grabby.

The woman’s daughter was totally disinherited? That must hurt.

This is exactly why second marriages are so complicated

as for advice get your friend to think about how she would feel if her dad had died and left everything to his wife and take if from there

Legally I imagine his step-daughter doesn't have grounds to block probate, but he doesn't sound as if he cares that she has lost her mum.

He should be giving her children the personal items they want now - definately any jewlery etc. -and not wait till he's dead.

I can understand their Dad supporting them in this - I imagine some of the jewlery would have been gifts from him to his ex-wife, and they now belong to her second husband rather than their shared children.

Your friends Dad seems to he painting himself as a victim of their greed, when they've got nothing from their mum. And as he feels so mistreated, he won't have to leave them anything in his will, so all to his kids.

It's very unfair of him, and possibly a bit calculated too.

Mirror wills are such a bad idea in step family situations.

IDK why you keep emphasising that he’s grieving his wife. You do realise she is grieving her mother? So grief top trumps won’t work. They are both bereaved. Both lost someone incredibly close to them.

He should communicate with her and hand over whatever heirlooms belong in her family - not just talk about it - as a start.

But you should butt out.

Are you sure your "friend" is painting an accurate picture of what her stepsister is like? Death and money do funny things to people, and in blended family situations like this, what often happens is the remaining spouse then leaves everything to their own child and the child that's about to be left everything paints the step sibling as a greedy heartless money grabber.

My own Dad left everything to his third wife, when dad died, she then changed her will to leave everything to her son, my dad's stepson.

I don't want a penny, my dad was an abusive man and has never paid his share of raising children, and I knew from being very small my stepmum could barely tolerate me and my brother, so I wasn't shocked we were left out of his will. All I wanted was my childhood photos from decades before she met my dad, but my stepmum burned them.

Maybe your friends stepsister has tried to block donate because she thinks she's about to be shafted by your mates Dad who plans to leave everything to your friend instead of leaving a fair share to his wife's child.

This.

It's sad that her mum didn't leave her any specific gifts and just left everything to her husband, that must hurt. He should just ask her if there's anything she'd like now and give it to her, what jewellery has she taken, is there jewellery her brother would like. Is there a family heirloom from mums side that they'd like to have and pass down. They are all grieving and if she had a good relationship with her mum then not being included in the will is hurtful.

Did the mum die unexpectedly? What age was she?
Pretty reprehensible that she didn’t even specify heirlooms for her daughter.

He’s being awful.

The mum wrote the will
She was of sound mind
Thats it

It is unfortunate the mum didn’t specify that she wanted the daughter to inherit certain things but obviously she decided not to.
Perhaps she didn’t want her daughter to have anything, we don’t know what the daughter was like. Let’s face it, she’s put a stop on the will without talking to the dad about it so she doesn’t sound like the kindest human being

Legally everything is the dads
Thats it.

The daughter is legally entitled to nothing

A lot depends on the relationship your friend had with her mum, if she truly believes mum would want her children to have personal items they should be handed over. We don't know why nothing was left to her, has she read the will, sometimes people assume possessions will be passed on without actually specifying it. What would be the purpose of delaying probate.

Exactly
Once they have probate sorted the daughter can see the will as it’s available on the Government website for all to read ( if she hasn’t seen it already )

Mirror wills with second families. Bad idea.

First of all he needs to stop and consider whether probate is needed at all.

If they owned the house jointly (as "joint tenants" rather than "tenants in common"), then they each owned the whole house jointly - just like a joint bank account.

In this situation, the house - and any joint bank accounts - automatically go to the surviving person regardless of anything that is written in a will.

Probate is not required in that situation.

Also, if everything was left to the husband then there is no Inheritance Tax to worry about at this time either.

This is the advice from the gov.uk website

Check if probate is needed

Contact the financial organisations the person who died used (for example, their bank and mortgage company) to find out if you’ll need probate to get access to their assets. Every organisation has its own rules.

You may not need probate if the person who died:

• only had savings
• owned shares or money with others - this automatically passes to the surviving owners unless they’ve agreed otherwise
• owned land or property as ‘joint tenants’ with others - this automatically passes to the surviving owners

Mirror wills with blended families are a total shit show. 99% of the time they lead to bad feeling.

To loose your mother and then to loose everything that belonged to her to someone who treats her with contempt must be a horrible thing to deal with.

To wait a whole year before talking with her children about her belongings is pretty selfish.

Surely he’s talked to them about things they particularly want to remember her by? Going through someone’s belongings together is part of the grieving process.

He’s demonstrated that you get more than one spouse, but you only get one mum. The kids’ grief is as important and his and he should step up and show some concern for other people.

Thats not entirely correct and would also depend where in the UK they live.

Whilst probate can be blocked for 6 months at a time, without evidence of mal practice etc etc one cannot keep doing this

I have a friend who's mum died in her 50s after a very short illness, left everything to her second husband, who didn't have children but remarried after. His next wife outlived him and his mum's house went to her children. My friend is bitter as the money would have made such a difference to his and his brother's life. I feel the daughters pain.

It sounds like what has happened is she has entered a “caveat” to stop probate because she believes she has grounds to contest the will - these renew every 6 months - she will need to have legal grounds to stop a probate which are not there in your post. Feeling p’eed off isn’t legal grounds.

legally your friends dad owns everything now and she has no grounds - unless she is financially dependent on the person who died for reasons of disability etc .

the only person in the UK who is legally entitled to inherit even if not mentioned in the will is a spouse - outside the circumstances above where they are dependent - or if you believe the deceased had outstanding financial debts you need to apply to the estate . You can’t rewrite a will In Your favour

How heartbreaking to discover that you’ve been disinherited by your mum and have to go begging a stepparent for a few of her belongings.

where there are assets, parents should always make direct provision for their children, I certainly have and I’m married to my dc’s dad!

He can't see why his wife daughter is upset that all of her mothers possessions have been given to the man she remarried? Of course it was up the mum to decide what she wanted to do, but i don't believe it takes Einstein to realise why the daughter is upset ffs. Why can't he agree to give his wife's grieving children who have nothing of their mums a few keepsakes that they want? Sounds selfish to me.