Trouble with step-daughter who’s contesting a Will

[FluentAzureOP]

Hello everyone, I’m hoping the hivemind has some suggestions for this as it’s deeply troubling. My friend’s dad has recently lost his wife after nearly 20 years of married life. He loved her deeply and is still grieving her death. In fact it’s hitting him hard again as the first anniversary of her death draws near.

He and his wife made ‘mirror wills’ which left everything to the other one and named the surviving spouse as Executor. As far as I know, the wills were properly written out by a solicitor and signed and witnessed properly. A short while ago he decided to apply for Probate believing that he needed it to legally administer the will only to find that his step-daughter had blocked his application. This is the latest attack on him by the woman concerned. She previously suggested that he would dispose of her mother’s belongings to his own family and not her’s, she has accused him of stealing a family heirloom and has said that she doubts he will pass on a valuable piece of men’s jewellery to his step-son. She has also taken some jewellery items.

He has been deeply upset by this. He’s grieving for his wife and has tried to explain that he would never just discard anything of his wife’s, and if there’s anything in particular his step daughter wanted just to write it down in a list and he will either give it to her or leave it to her in his own will as he will have to make a new one.

He always treated his step-daughter with honesty and affection, regarding her as essentially his one of his own children, and has been generous and supportive to her, as he was to his wife, and has no idea what’s behind it all, except, perhaps, that his wife’s former husband is guiding it from behind the scenes.

His feels a deep sense of betrayal and the relationship has got so bad that he regards his step-daughter with total contempt now. He’s written to her solicitor (who blocked the Probate application) asking what the grounds for contesting the will are and they seem to be ignoring his letters.

He understands that the will cannot be contested as his wife was in good physical and mental health when she made it. Does anyone have any sensible advice for him (apart from just ‘go and see a solicitor)?

Thank you in advance 😊🙏🏻

Even in the flowery utterly one-sided way you have written this, it is very clear he is being shitty.

of Course a daughter will contest being totally disinherited

It doesn’t sound like the step daughter was ‘disinherited’. It sounds like both people in the marriage were prioritised in terms of accommodation and then I imagine the wife was assuming the money would be split between children after the remaining spouse has passed.

Of course this always relies on the remaining spouse being fair and will always favour the children of the remaining spouse so equally if the husband had passed first (which was statistically more likely) the step daughter might have been sitting quite pretty about now.

Agree. Imagine your DP leaves everything to the spouse and not even one heirloom to you. Would love to read her side of the story.

I’m guessing your connection is much closer than friends dad, OP. The picture that you paint is very biased.

I guess the friend will be worried, she was sitting back pretty expecting to get everything over her step siblings and now might have to share.

I believe her mother’s possessions should pass to her. Maybe not whilst the dh is alive but certainly once he has died.
When I die I want my dcs to inherit everything and not my adult dsd.

It is a shame that your friend's dad and his late wife did nothing to ensure that their respective estates were passed down to their children.

The stepdaughter is entirely right to be concerned that her mother's estate will be passed on to her stepchildren and not her own children, given that she had the misfortune to die first. This situation should have been prevented by both of them when drafting their wills.

What you want is irrelevant if it isnt in your will.

but her mum has already died. Why should she wait? I dont think he has any intention of rewriting a will to leave the house and belongings equally. His children will inherit all the mum‘s belongings and her house.

Your 'friend's dad's stepdaughter' has injustice grievance on top of her grief.

So she is grieving her Mum and any inheritance from her Mum is now in his hands.

He should give her the jewellery and heirlooms straight away and re-assure her that his will will reflect the assets as brought into his marriage by his wife.

Personally I find it very thoughtless that couples who have second marriages later in life do not think about their children from first partnerships.

I hope this can be resolved amicably.

I agree. The person making the will should have specified if any personal items should go to her own family. The only way the stepdaughter could challenge the will is if she was financially dependent on the deceased person. That's my understanding.

So friends dad inherits everything from his late wife. Once he passes away everything goes to his daughter. It is kind of logical that since she does not get an inheritance, it is likely that nobody will give her a memorabilia of her mother either.

Well there's the risk she won't get anything, it's in the hands of a man who despite his wife dying a year ago hasn't been decent enough to agree to give some sentimental items to his wife's children which tells you all you need to know. OP is obviously closer to this than they're claiming, and you can feel the resentment dripping off the page which probably echoes the husbands feelings too.

I can’t imagine waiting a year to find out if I was going to be given any of my mum’s possessions let alone any inheritance issues. Damn that’s awful. Grief shouldn’t be a paralysing force that renders people incapable of thinking of others.

Its gross isn't it, i bet she'd be ashamed of the selfishness. I get the monetary and high value items being reflected in the will, but honestly highly doubt it stipulated that he was to hoard everything with zero consideration to the fact that these children had lost their mother (who they have known for more than 20 years).

Why is your friends dad witholding his dead wifes possessions from her daughter, which the deceased seems to have wanted her to have, based on your post? It seems very sinister to say he will leave them to her in his own will. I do not blame the daughter for taking the actions she has, based on your post, unless there's some massive unposted info which would change this.

There will be a drip feed soon enough I'm sure!

Money is a much more paralyzing and equally motivational force!

Hang on, it’s nearly a year since the wife died and he hasn’t applied for probate until now or passed on family heirlooms to his daughter? That’s appalling!

Why hasn't he invited his wife's children over and asked them to take anything they want from her belongings? That should have happened about 11 months ago. None of this "trust me, bro. I'll leave it to you. Wink wink" business. Is there a massive backstory why mum didn't want her children to have anything? Or was she just naive?

This happened to me, my dad had only remarried 9 months before he died. I really didn't care too much about the money, but not having my childhood photos, my mums birth certificates, grandad (maternal) war items etc crushed me. Everytime I went to speak to her about it I was told don't worry they are being looked after, I won't let anything happen to them. In the end I went to the solicitor and was told that you can contest the will if you have been forgotten. However, I didn't want to go against my dad's wishes and she did at this point give me a few items.
The selfishness was really hard, and I felt like I was grieving at the same time as suffering an injustice. My step mum lives just up the road, but I don't have anything to do with her any more I can't stand going in to her house and seeing all my childhood memories and items that belonged to my mum.

He always treated his step-daughter with honesty and affection, regarding her as essentially his one of his own children, and has been generous and supportive to her, as he was to his wife, and has no idea what’s behind it all, except, perhaps, that his wife’s former husband is guiding it from behind the scenes.

You are so far removed from the situation that you have absolutely no idea whether or not this is true.

Disinherited? She has no right to inherit as her mum would have made provision for her had she wanted to.

This.

You don’t know enough details to post for advice on this. You are not involved.

be a good friend, listen, advice legal advise.

bit don’t post on the internet about it. You are a casual bystander