Debts when someone had moved away.

[Idiotseeverywhere]

My 21 year old has done something incredibly reckless. Signed up to join an army abroad and disappeared one day to join them. We had no know knowledge of it until they disappeared early one morning.

We can only speak to them for a few minutes once a week. They have disclosed that they have emptied their British bank account (most of the money was spent in travel to this location anyway), opened an account in the county they are in now.

They said they ran up credit card debts, klana debts before they left and will not be paying as it isn’t their problem now.

So far, we have had car insurance emailing us. Only because dh helped them get it and so it’s linked to his email, but it’s in dc name. They owe payments (looks like they must have stopped paying bills the last few months before they left to say for flights), dh called and said they don’t live here anymore. They said nothing they can do, they can’t close the account. It’s getting passed to debt collection.

When we speak to dc they refuse to talk about it saying they will never return to UK, so they don’t care. They are in an extremely dangerous place and I don’t want to push them away by going on about this. I know the only way they are coming home is in a box, so I don’t want to ruin the few mins I can speak a week with arguments.

We have no proof of where they are now. I know the country, but they won’t tell me where the military base is.

What do I do if it gets to the point where bayliffs turn up? I can’t prove they don’t live here. All post for them gets marked not known at this address, return to sender.

Im also really ill and this is all making me worse. I don’t have the money to pay anything for them.

If they Bayliffs turn up they can only take goods belonging to the person named on the writ. So anything in the house that is your property they cannot touch. Any cars in your name again they cannot take. If they turn up tell them what you have here. That the person has moved abroad and isn’t coming back. They might ask you to prove any high value items are yours but otherwise they will just go away

Just to reiterate - I have no proof that they have left. Nothing to show anyone. No phones are allowed apart from a short call on a Sunday. Dc refuses to engage with anyone, it was hard enough to get them to speak to us.

How do I prove that? I don’t have receipts for anything. He has a TV and a computer in his room, but we bought them for him years ago.

You have proof they don't live there that's enough to stop bailiffs

Rental agreement if you have one council tax bill contact the electoral roll people (seriously forgot what they are called) get them removed do they have anything at your house at all?

I will contact electoral roll.

Only me and dh are named on council tax bill. We don’t rent we own our home.

He disappeared in the night with nothing. Room is how he left it. He took no clothes, nothing. Only items of his in the room are a tv and an Xbox, but we bought those for him years ago.

What proof do I have that he’s not here though? I have nothing to show anyone.

Sounds very fraught , sorry you're going though this .
I don't have any experience of bailiffs but wonder if you can contact a solicitor and get them to write an official letter that states your son no longer lives at your address and you are not responsible for his debts or actions ?
Yes it will cost you money , but it might keep them away from further hassle .
I would keep the original letter but take photocopies as you might have further companies chasing him .

Can immigration prove he has left the country?

I haven’t got any money. It’s all going on medical bills (wouldn’t be here now if I hadn’t gone private).

His debts are the least of your worries. If your extremely unusual story is true you might as well sell anything of his that is of value, the car (not mentioned in posts, yet surely the most valuable item he had?), his computer and TV.
TBH most people will not believe the story and will think he has done a runner in this country to avoid paying his debts.

Oh dear, what a mess.

But it's not up to you to prove your DS has gone abroad, just keep telling his creditors that this is what he's done and no longer lives at your address.

If bailiffs turn up (unlikely if it's consumer debt like loans (including the car insurance) credit cards or Klarna) don't let them in and say he doesn't live at your address.

He's an adult and the accounts are in his name, so not your responsibility. They'll be able to see from the accounts that they're either not being used, or are being used overseas.

Are you absolutely sure he HAS left the country?

You’re right, stop talking to him about it. You only get a short phone call and something terrible could happen at any time.

there is no reason to be stressed about the debts, they can do nothing to you. You don’t let them in, you show them your council tax bill and they go away.

Yes. He has FaceTimed from the military base. He’s been in hospital there with suspected TB, I had to proved a military hospital there with some information about a health issue when he was young, he’s shown me his contract over FaceTime when he first joined.

He’s done something so reckless, it took me a few weeks to come to the reality of it. But he’s definitely there, fighting with an army he doesn’t need to, has no links to, and will get himself killed for.

The car isn’t his. It was mine - he was just insured on it as he was learning to drive. The car was old, it was actually collected to be scrapped the day he dissapeard. We had told him to cancel his insurance on it, he said he did. Obviously didn’t, he had one foot out the door for months as this was all planned.

I know it’s unbelievable. I haven’t told anyone. We’ve been living this hell ourselves as it’s so unbelievable.

So let them take his computer and Xbox? Doesn’t matter that you bought them. They belong to him. Anything else is yours

How would I go about that?

It’s not a country you can directly travel to at the moment anyway. He had to fly to another country, get to the boarder where he was picked up by the army.

Bet he’s joined Al Qaeda

Nope. Quite a reach, but no. He’s firmly in Starmers side in all this, don’t worry.

Or Ukraine?
It doesn't actually matter for the purposes of his debts though does it?
Not sure why you think this comment is helpful or useful

This is why I’ve not told anyone in real life to be honest. It’s hard enough without daft comments.

When he calls or facetimes again use another phone to video it and get him to confirm that he has joined that army. I wouldn't tell him you are doing this, I would do it slyly so you cover your backs for any future bailiff visits. One thing he hasn't considered is if he is injured and discharged from the army and whether he would need to return home.

Do not let the bailiffs over your doorstep. Write to whoever he owes money to reiterating what he has done. You could show the bailiffs the video but outside your house, never inside.

He has left you both to deal with all of this and it is completely unfair. Not a huge amount you can do except to tell them he doesn't live there. At some point the debt will be written off but can be reinstated if he returns to the UK.

I would contact the police there's normally anti terrorism units that try keep track of britts who have gone to fight for other militarys (and if it's somewhere he can't go directly I'm guessing it's possibly some sort of terror related organisation?)

We are hoping he will change his mind and come home. I think he had some sort of breakdown with his stressful job and saw this as a way out.

If he comes home alive, debts can be sorted.

He doesn't live there. So aren't they just a TV and a computer in OPs spare room?
Usage and owners of tech are strange things. "My" work laptop doesn't imply ownership, only usage. My daughter's phone kind of isn't hers really, I check it periodically and can confiscate it if I want to.