Debts when someone had moved away.

[Idiotseeverywhere]

My 21 year old has done something incredibly reckless. Signed up to join an army abroad and disappeared one day to join them. We had no know knowledge of it until they disappeared early one morning.

We can only speak to them for a few minutes once a week. They have disclosed that they have emptied their British bank account (most of the money was spent in travel to this location anyway), opened an account in the county they are in now.

They said they ran up credit card debts, klana debts before they left and will not be paying as it isn’t their problem now.

So far, we have had car insurance emailing us. Only because dh helped them get it and so it’s linked to his email, but it’s in dc name. They owe payments (looks like they must have stopped paying bills the last few months before they left to say for flights), dh called and said they don’t live here anymore. They said nothing they can do, they can’t close the account. It’s getting passed to debt collection.

When we speak to dc they refuse to talk about it saying they will never return to UK, so they don’t care. They are in an extremely dangerous place and I don’t want to push them away by going on about this. I know the only way they are coming home is in a box, so I don’t want to ruin the few mins I can speak a week with arguments.

We have no proof of where they are now. I know the country, but they won’t tell me where the military base is.

What do I do if it gets to the point where bayliffs turn up? I can’t prove they don’t live here. All post for them gets marked not known at this address, return to sender.

Im also really ill and this is all making me worse. I don’t have the money to pay anything for them.

It would depend on your definition of "terrorist" I suppose
OP is asking about debts here, she is in a hellish situation and trying to deal with the practicalities as well as the emotional fallout from this without reporting him to anyone.
When/If he gets home all of that can be dealt with

It’s not a terror organisation. It’s an army of another country who the UK is all for. It’s all above board.

He’s done nothing illegal. I did call the police. They investigated. Their last call when they closed it was to tell me to reassure him that he can come back to the U.K. at any time, no one would stop him.

Seriously I think you need to seek legal advice. Could you try a free 30 minute chat with a lawyer? Things you need to know like can they take anything of yours? He is an adult and not living with you. Can they take the TV etc from his room but not touch your things? Perhaps ask to speak to a community police officer to see where you stand if they turn up. What a horrible situation for you.

Is he mentally well? Honestly, that sounds completely rash. I'd wonder if he actually left.

Reading your updates is crazy. I suppose all I'd hope for is that he comes back alive. Nuts.

Tape calls as suggested as proof.

The only people who I know as he owes money to is the insurance and only because it was dh email address he used to sign up as dh was helping him.

I wouldn’t know about anyone else, I assume it’s all email and electronic statements like I get for my credit cards etc. He’s had a few letters arrive but it’s all from the insurance and they all get marked not at this address, return to sender.

He has left. I’ve seen his contract. I’ve seen where his is when he’s video called. I have the bank details of the account he’s opened in that country. He has a new phone number for that country. There is no doubt he’s there and in the military. Believe me, I wish he was hiding out a friends house somewhere, but he’s not. He’s actually done this and fucked off and left debts.

Yes, I this was some sort of escape from a stressful work situation.

It’s not as rash as it sounds. Apparently he was planning it for almost a year. Having online interviews, planning travel. His close friends all knew and were helping him. It’s a really hurtful.

Separate what/where your son is and the debt

my brother racked up a lot of debt at the family home then moved out. My mother was beside herself

if Bailiffs turn up speak to them on the doorstep. Explain you don’t know where your son is and keep invoices (not V5) by the door for cars and other expensive items

you are already sending post back which is good. Keep doing these things and they'll eventually get the message. It'll take time but is part of the process

I don’t have any receipts for anything. Dh might have one for our car somewhere, but we bought it second hand 12 years ago so I doubt it.

These all sound like unsecured Debts? Court will only issue bailiffs for priority debts not unsecured ones.

The worst that can happen here is he gets CCJ's

Post on the MSE boards not here, they are much more clued up there than on here about unsecured debts and repayments. you wont be expected to repay anything if you have not signed as a guarantor.

It’s not as rash as it sounds. Apparently he was planning it for almost a year. Having online interviews, planning travel. His close friends all knew and were helping him. It’s a really hurtful.

Oh, wow. How awful for you as parents. I'm sorry.

Oh god no, we’ve not been guarantor's for anything.

Its just the insurance and he has said a credit card and karma.

Yep. And a few of those friends we hosted here during that time, bought birthday/Christmas presents for and all the time, they knew what he was doing to do. It’s been very hard not to contact them and let rip, but we’ve not, it would make the situation worse.

What a difficult situation OP, I'm so sorry. In my previous line of work we would use bailiffs, if a parent said their DC had left we would ask for any proof they had. We would also use the electoral register to check they have been removed and do a credit check to check for new usage from your address. You said you contacted the police. I wonder if you could ask them for confirmation of your conversation?

I wonder if there may be any kind of charities that could support you through this? I'd imagine your DC won't be the first.

I’ve called the electoral register this morning they said that would start the process of removing him.

Only dh and I on council tax bill.

There would be no more from our address for him, he had to open a new back account in the country he’s in as part of the joining process for the army. He won’t have bothered to close his UK account, but he transferred the little he had left to the new account.

I doubt the police would have kept anything. There was nothing to investigate really. I called them as he’d disappeared. When he got in contact, I updated them and that was it, as it’s all above board. They said please tell him we won’t be holding any record of this and that he’s free to return to the UK anytime.

He’s with a lot of other guys, mainly from the Uk and US. We are far from the only ones. I doubt there would be any charities. It’s a job in an army who the Uk support.

Gosh what a hard situation.

I wouldn’t worry too much regarding the debt side - just tell them he has moved abroad and you are not really in contact with him. depending on the amount owed, they can track and find him, whether they do that or not is another matter. they’d be able to find if he opened an international bank account for example. As this is a high cost and a lot of work, it’s likely they won’t do it. He will just have very bad credit and possible CCJs but he doesn’t seem
bothered about that anyway.

I couldn’t give a monkeys about credit scores. I just want him to change his mind come back alive. Credit scores and CCJs are things that can be sorted in time.

I’ve just had a call with the insurance. They can’t take dh email off unless ds instructs them to (not going to happen), but they did already have a note on the system that post was being returned to sender. They said they will make a further note of the situation so when it’s passed to a debt collection company they will also be aware that he doesn’t live here anymore

She said all you can do is keep returning any letters as he no longer resides at that address anymore.

But like I said, that’s the only one I know about, as I assume his other debts are trying to contact him via email, which he can’t access anyway.

Do not open any letters for him and just cross out your address on the front snd write on the envelopes return to sender! they will soon stop sending letters and try and locate him else where (it will be down as a dead end on the systems)

Yes, I’ve been doing this with all letters.

that should sort everything that end, sending hugs for your situation x

I know three young men who are considering doing this. It is frightening, but it seems to be a widespread idea. I have done my best to talk them out of it, but they are all independent adults, it isn't anything linked to terrorism, there is nothing anyone can do.

You won’t need receipts. Once he is no longer listed as being registered to vote at your address, and you keep returning post for him as ‘not at this address’ it isn’t really any different from him leaving an address with debt and different people who didn’t know him moving in. His debt is nothing to do with you. Sounds like you’re a long way from any court ordered bailiffs being involved any way, you’ll just get lots of debt collection letters - which you return unopened. If the creditors ever appoint bailiffs then, when they visit, their court order will be in his name. You just state he doesn’t live there, you and DH do, and you can prove you aren’t the person named in the writ with your ID (passport/driving licence etc) if you want but you don’t have to (it would probably speed up the process of them going away though). If they then check the electoral register (they probably check it prior to visiting) they will have to inform the court the debtor can’t be located. They may try to pursue him overseas but it depends how big the debt is presumably.

In the case of my son, I asked him, why didn’t you just join the British army if that’s what you wanted?

He said it’s because he just wanted to fight and be in a war zone now. Four weeks training and then it’s to the front line. He said everyone there felt the same way.

It’s not even to do with the country they are in. They have no strong feelings towards it, couldn’t give a damn. They just want the instant gratification of being in a war. I don’t understand it.

And our own government are all for it. So they are doing nothing “wrong” so no one can stop it.

Thank you. I spoke to the council today. They said though that they send out a form and the person has to fill it in themselves, or they will take them off when they apply at a new address.

I said he can’t, he’s not in the country anymore. Then he said well the process will be underway.

So I don’t know how true that is, but we’ll see.