Any Police Officers about? Content warning - added by MNHQ concerns SA

[JustAboutMuddlingThrough]

Not really AIBU but can't find the chat option. Any police officers on here who could answer a question for me please? If I wanted to report being repeatedly raped and physically abused by my now exh can I report it just to go on record or would he be arrested straight away? I'm worried about the repercussions if he does get arrested which is why I'm hesitant to report it, but I'm happy for it just to go on file. This happened from 2014-2018 but it's taken until now for me to confide in my Friend about what happened.

I'm still undecided at the moment, and leaning more towards not reporting it, but everyone's advice is noted down for if I do change my mind. Thank you everyone

My very recent experience after reporting sexual assault and DA by partner at time was that I had a visit from 2x officers where a statement was taken. They then arrested him, interviewed him and released him with no charge due to there being no evidence. My word against his etc. For me personally, I lost faith in the system, I didn’t feel there was a proper investigation or evidence gathering as I had messages etc. The only thing, I believe it is on his record as such, so if he does it again to another woman, or they seek a Claire’s Law for example, then there’ll be that file. I would contact Rape Crisis for support in these circumstances.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/want-to-talk/

I'm so sorry OP

Hi OP,

We are sorry that you have experienced this. Just to let you know, we have a web guide on Rape & Sexual Assault which you might find helpful here. We have also moved your thread over to our Legal Matters board.

Wishing you all the best OP.

I am so incredibly sad to read this. It is absolutely NOT your fault.

Thank you

I’m not sure if it’s helpful to pre-judge whether a charge will be made or not made. Someone else’s disappointing experience does not necessarily mean that all similar cases will follow the same path. The OPs ex may have previous allegations made in the past which may help for example. Obviously there can be no guarantees as the CPS are trying to reach a certain level of certainty with the evidence. They don’t want to prosecute cases that they’re not going to win because their performance is measured by wins effectively. Good luck to you OP whatever you decide to do x

To clarify though:

if you report it you can decline to give evidence, a statement etc.

it is likely without your support they will have enough of a case for the CPS to charge. However if they do, they can and will move forward with charge and arrest whether you want them to or not.

this is the exact reason “pressing charges” is not a thing in the UK. It means any victim who is coerced, scared, or feels unable to continue for whatever reason, the suspect can still face justice.

I asked to do exactly this recently, I did have to see an officer face to face to give details but then it was totally up to me what happened next.

What did they rely on for evidence? Did either of the victims give evidence?

Yes but usually only if someone else saw the attack or using res gestae - complicated with various case law but basically allows evidence of immediate complaint (e.g. BWV footage of assault victim immediately afterwards). A complaint of past assault (sexual or otherwise) made some time later wouldn’t be covered.

For anyone wondering if I decided to report my exh. Yes I did. I reported it online to the Police last night. Just waiting for them to get in touch with me now

Good luck OP.
I’m horrified to read your story and by the way your vile ex treated you.
I think you are incredibly brave to go ahead and report and I admire your courage.
Hope it goes well.

@NewGirlInTownthank you. I’ve just done my statement. Not sure if I feel better or worse now for doing something it

Will the Police tell me if they arrest him?

Yes. I believe if you are the victim you are told if he is to be arrested and/or charged.

They might, it may depend on whether he has access to children or other vulnerable people now. I don’t want to discourage anyone from reporting a crime but police are duty bound to investigate it in some way. Imagine the criticism if you reported being raped (or assaulted, etc) and the police did nothing at all? What if he did it to someone else, what if he’s doing it to someone else now and the police can protect that other person.

I have a specially trained Police officer coming round on Wednesday to talk me through things and any worries I have. Then I’ll be making my statement

Well done for having the strength to do this. Wish you well and just be kind to yourself as you process everything ❤️

please report, as hard as it is. it will happen to his next victim as well. I am so sorry what you went through and you could stop it happening to anyone else.

I didn't see your update. well done

@Doggymummar7 years old? 😢😢😢😢 Oh that poor baby that’s broken my heart

Just coming back to update on this thread. I did my video recorded statement last week. I’m not sure what is happening yet but I will update as and when.

@JustAboutMuddlingThrough ive sent you a private message x

Well done on reporting this OP. And to add, this is NOT YOUR FAULT

Just a quick update. The Police arrested him, he has of course denied pretty much everything but there’s still further investigations to go through. He’s been released on bail with conditions not to approach me, message me on social media or via a third party contact. Thats about all I know atm