Divorce - how can I get in a good position to keep the house?

[DustyLee123]

I want to divorce my DH, but the only thing stopping me is that I want to keep the house. No mortgage on the house, DH has inheritance money and a big pension, I have a tiny pension due to bringing up the kids. All kids over 18 now.
I think he might fight me for the house, or force its sale, just to be a pain as he won’t want divorce.
How can I get in a good position to keep it?

Inheritance is often excluded from divorce, so assume that’s out.

so Really it’s split everything fifty fifty, inc pension valuation (which is way lower than what’s in the pot) and then you need to concede the value of the house that’s his share, effectively buying it off him.

you maybe able to argue for more than 50 percent but it’s very rare now.

I thought inheritance was all part of the marital pot? But maybe I’m confusing that with the fact that he can use that to buy himself another property?

Simply put, you'd need to have the money to pay him out his share. What that would be would be dependent on what you decide via mediation or court. The starting point is 50-50 split especially as there are no dependents but this can be negotiated dependent on your mitigating circumstances such as raising the children and putting your career on hold whilst he continues working etc. Best advice that can be given is speak to a solicitor and try and keep emotions out of it. Easier said than done but don't throw money in a bottomless pit.

The way to keep it us to buy his half off him

I know that, it’s just how I get into the position to do that, and make a strong case for it

Can you afford to buy him out of his half?

Alternatively, you could negotiate that he gets more pension while you get the house? But be careful about whether this is really sensible.

Do you work? Can you afford to run the house alone? I don't think there is a way you can guarantee keeping the house, it's all a negotiation

You will need to buy him out of his 50% as no children. There might be wiggle room to do a deal with the pension if you was a sahm or worked part time to raise children.

Inheritance is treated differently in different parts of the U.K.,

Where are you?

What are you asking, how you can accrue enough money in a quick period to buy half the house?

value everything other than the house, split it in half. You can give him that. Then you need to make up any shortfall. Generally that’s through work, inheritance, or robbing a bank.

Are you sure you definitely want the house? It will have all kinds of memories associated with it, and may feel too big once you’re alone in it. You may find - I did - that you’d actually prefer to sell the house, take your share, and buy something new and more suitable for your changed circumstances.

Exactly and can you afford to run it. Council tax, maintenance , all bills?

I don’t think you need to make a case for it. You just need to arrange a mortgage and offer him half of the value.
Unless of course other finances that your half of would offset your half of the house.

Think ping and hard about this op. I supported my mum through a similar situation with her ex husband 6yrs ago. She was adamant she wanted to keep the house. Absolutely certain.

We are now 6yrs on. The house is gorgeous but too big. She does not have the cash (pension) income to maintain it how she would like to. She uses one bedroom of the 4 (double) rooms. Uses one bathroom and the living room is simply never used. I’m property prices in her area have changed so if she sold her house and downsized, she would simply be living in a 2 bed house but likely have no more than about £60k in the bank.

I very strongly advised her to request a smaller investment property they owned at the time but she was insistent he moved into it as she wanted ‘the house’. It was a mistake.

I know you have!’t asked for this opinion but think very carefully about if you want all that your house entails.

Legally, I don’t think you have any more right to keep the house than your DH. It will come down to mediation and, if the two of you can’t agree, to court. That’s likely to be very expensive. My understanding (IANAL) is that the court may well say the house needs to be sold and the proceeds split.

It all goes into the pot, even his second property. You'll find pension pots can be very large, especially if jes a high earner. Best thing to do is speak to a solicitor. You can get a free half hour or it's worth paying for a proper consultation, that way there's no confusion.

Agree with PP - selling the house and splitting that and the pension pot equitably may be better given presumably you don’t have a whole heap of years to build a pension.

How long ago was the inheritance received?

I do know of 60%/40% assets split in favour of the wife who stayed at home the whole marriage. It was seen that the man could have another 20 years of working (late forties) with his higher earning power and they compromised her ability to earn because of the child rearing years.

Very rare now, only happens when wives are old and can’t be expected to work;

Talk to a solicitor. Go armed with all the financial information. Assuming that it was a long marriage, given kids have left home, it may well end up that you can keep the house if you don't touch his pension. But, only a solicitor armed with all the information about everything will be able to advise on the likely outcome for your individual circumstances. Everyone here will speculate based on parts of it and likely be wildly wrong.

Even if you end up paying for a couple of hours instead of just using a free hour, it will be a worthwhile investment to secure the best outcome for you. And that may not be keeping the house.

It will presumably be a 5050 split, so to keep the house you would need to give him his half, and you get a mortgage in your own right. Get legal advice for sure, but that’s my experience.

As people say it will all go into the pot. But think long and hard do you really want it ? Would it be better if you got money to by a smaller house and start afresh ? As people said above single living comes with alot of costs

Get something smaller that you can afford to maintain. And get some pension as part of the settlement. Retired You will be grateful.

You will need to consult a lawyer and possibly a financial adviser as well, but the advice might well boil down to 'let the house go, concentrate on getting your share of the money and the pension, if you have money you can always buy another house'.

Yes I want the house, yes I can afford to run it. I know I need to buy him out, what I’m asking, I suppose, is am I in a better position to buy him out as he has a pension and an inheritance? I’ve got very little pension and no inheritance. As in I’ve only got equity in a house, whereas he can take his pension lump sum and inheritance to buy a house, and not give me half of those.

Op, is there an issue here with language or financial literacy. It is very simple.

Inheritance excluded. Assume this

Example house value 500k. 250k each.
you need 250k to buy him out.

pension pot cev (cash equivalent value, not what’s in the pot and provided by the provider on asking) 50k
yout pension 5K
other assets and savings 10 k.
total 65k, which is 32k each.

as such, you give him yout 32k, and you need to find another 218k to buy him out, to take it to the 250.

its not about who can buy a house. It’s about a fair and equal split of the marital assets. Exc inheritance as the normal position is you’re not entitled to his families money.