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7 replies

sunshinerose123 · 09/06/2024 20:27

My ex called asking where I was because he wanted to pick up our daughter and take her somewhere. I told him I was busy and that he'd have to take her out another day. He insisted on knowing where I was, but I said it didn't matter since I was out. He got annoyed and said he has a right to know where his daughter is, even though I'm the main caregiver and he only sees her once a week. He then threatened that if I don't tell him where I am, he won't inform me about where he's taking her. Eventually, I hung up, and he continued this conversation by sending condescending messages. I am right to set these boundaries, aren't I? He doesn't need to know my whereabouts since that's private information, and he's overstepping.

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LadyMuckRake · 09/06/2024 20:29

Wow, he sounds awful.

Why does he believe he needs to know your whereabouts every minute.

DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 09/06/2024 20:39

You're right. You didn't have to tell him where you are. It's none of his business.

He's also right that he won't have to tell you either unfortunately but that'll remain true whether you tell him or not so it's no reason to tell him.

sunshinerose123 · 09/06/2024 21:17

He is an awful guy i hate the life out of him. He likes to control and still thinks he owns me i can’t stand the man. Had 8 years of emotional abuse with him and finally had the courage to walk away when our daughter was born so she has a healthy home. Best decision i ever made. I’m so tempted to go to the courts and have full custody because i’m worried how he will impact her but i don’t know

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DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 09/06/2024 21:19

You aren't likely to get 'full custody' (that doesn't exist in law anyway) by going to court. Unless he's done something probably awful during contact the court probably wouldn't stop his weekly contact. You can stop it if you want, but if he goes to court he would probably get it back to be honest.

sunshinerose123 · 09/06/2024 21:21

LadyMuckRake · 09/06/2024 20:29

Wow, he sounds awful.

Why does he believe he needs to know your whereabouts every minute.

He is an awful guy i hate the life out of him. He likes to control and still thinks he owns me i can’t stand the man. Had 8 years of emotional abuse with him and finally had the courage to walk away when our daughter was born so she has a healthy home. Best decision i ever made. I’m so tempted to go to the courts so he dosent have custody of her because i’m worried how he will impact her but i don’t know

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RawBloomers · 09/06/2024 21:23

sunshinerose123 · 09/06/2024 21:17

He is an awful guy i hate the life out of him. He likes to control and still thinks he owns me i can’t stand the man. Had 8 years of emotional abuse with him and finally had the courage to walk away when our daughter was born so she has a healthy home. Best decision i ever made. I’m so tempted to go to the courts and have full custody because i’m worried how he will impact her but i don’t know

It can be very difficult to get the courts to make a child arrangement order that wouldn’t give him at least 1 day a week, more if he wanted it. If you think he’s harming your daughter keep ahold of any evidence like texts and voicemails that could help prove that and that he is still controlling and abusive towards you and maintain the high ground in all contact with him.

sunshinerose123 · 09/06/2024 21:45

RawBloomers · 09/06/2024 21:23

It can be very difficult to get the courts to make a child arrangement order that wouldn’t give him at least 1 day a week, more if he wanted it. If you think he’s harming your daughter keep ahold of any evidence like texts and voicemails that could help prove that and that he is still controlling and abusive towards you and maintain the high ground in all contact with him.

Ah okay i wasn’t aware of how it works. That’s good advice i’ll definitely do that thank you. I’m just ignoring his condescending messages because i know he’s just trying to get a reaction out of me and i’ve finally learnt not to give him that satisfaction and it will help if i go to the courts like you say

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