Unfair dismissal? Embarrassing situation

[Sunnytimes21]

Hi, posting on behalf of my adult daughter. She has been text by her boss advising she no longer has a job. She's been there about a year on a zero hour contract but works about 30 hours a week. The text body said he had gone through her cardigan pocket on her week off and found a wrapped used tampon. He said she was 'tragic' and he hoped she'd learn from her mistake, but he doubts it and that she no longer has a job there. I admit, it's not ideal because she works in a kitchen.
She's since been contacted by her former colleagues, who are all aware of this, as he has told everyone.
I've advised her to go to citizens advice as to me, mistakes are made, but there is no need to shame her, sack her and call her names. She's distraught. What do you think?

I wouldn't push for unfair dismissal. It's gross. I can't see how you would forget something like that.

You'd make it your mission to find a public bin between the friends house and your place of work.

She has behaved slovenly in an environment where basic hygiene is paramount.

Let her learn from it.

If the staff are hanging their coats up in the actual food prep area instead of a dedicate store room away from food then the BOSS isn't doing his job in hygiene and infection control not the staff.

A wrapped item in a pocket of a coat in an entirely separate room poses little to no risk. The fact she works in a kitchen actually has NOTHING to do with this at all.

The boss had no right to go through her belongings, also had no right to talk about her belonging to other staff. If for instance it was a pregnancy test do you think he would be allowed to tell her co-workers shes pregnant?

I also doubt if it was a used kleenex in a mans pocket (arguably possibly a bigger contagion) that he would be instantly fired and shamed.

Do you think there would honestly be this outrage if it had been chewed chewing gum wrapped in a old sweet wrapper in her pocket? (ever looked at the underside of public tables and chairs - same risk of bodily fluids though)

This thread is really eye opening to the ingrained level of misogyny though.

If I was desperate, I’ve put it down the loo

that is utterly grim.

Some women forget them inside them. It happens.

I feel sorry for your daughter, everyone makes mistakes and the boss was cruel to tell everyone and sack her in that way.

Probably best for your daughter to move on. I am all for fighting injustice - but what does she want to achieve here? Does she want to go back and work there? Get compensation?

it will be a long, embarrassing road for her with probably no outcome. Best to just learn from it and and look for another, better job.

it’s a shit thing to happen to her, let her wallow for a day or two then move on and forget about it.

Not sure you mean tactile there

I think you are better off contracting a solicitor. You don't get advice on Mumsnet anymore. People will always see the worst in OP and twist it which is crap but it's how things have gone on here.

I think it's awful how boss handled it. It's disgraceful actually. We are all human. I work in people's houses sometimes and have often wrapped up a tampon as don't want to dispose in their house. It's so humiliating for her. I assume jacket wasn't left in kitchen itself. I've also wrapped them or pads up and put in my bin and they never smell after a week so I highly doubt it was wafting around the staff room.

I wonder did someone find it boring her cardigan, not sure if it's the same but in work we all wear cardigans over our scrubs and I'd often just grab one to throw on if I forgot my own, maybe it was found this way?

@nonumbersinthisname
They can absolutely smell within a week, especially in a warm environment.
I've had my period on holiday where the hotel bathroom bins weren't emptied for a few days, came back to the room one hot day and could smell the rancidness. The only things in the bins were a few well wrapped tampons, which I moved to a public bin and the smell in the bathroom went away so it was definitely the tampons.

I feel bad for your Daughter as it is very embarrassing for other people to know. He should have kept it confidential.

However, you only know what your Daughter tells you. Just as we only know your side of the story.

I am not buying this as the whole story.

I don’t want to be too personal, but where did she remove/replace said used tampon? If it was at a Friends house, then the toilet is the only place she would have done this one would presume; so said tampon would have been flushed away immediately…

Something doesn't add up with this very odd story.

I think you need a proper face to face chat with your Daughter as this isn’t adding up. You can even think of UD claims without knowing the full background.

Are there women out here still flushing tampons?

Most of us respect our friends enough to to block up their sewer line and possibly get them a large fine from the water board.

Really irresponsible to flush them, they are not flush-able items.

*I mean I presume she would have flushed it if there really was no bin & she was absolutely desperate….but who doesn’t have a bin in their bathroom or kitchen? That’s why it feels like the story doesn’t add up. There must have been a bin in her friends house.

If there was a smell coming from her jacket, why not just move it somewhere else or place it in a bin liner or airtight tub?

Why has he gone through her pockets?

I think this constitutes invasion of privacy and then bullying. He's also discussed confidential information with other employees (harassment?).

I'd contact ACAS.

How many people here would want to eat in a restaurant where the kitchen staff stored used tampons in their pockets for a week? Yuck.

i think the woman involved needs to take it on the chin: it’s a life lesson - and start afresh in another job.

I wouldn't flush in another house or put in bin

Your poor daughter op. I am hugely surprised at the reaction of some of the women on this thread. Have some flipping sympathy, i have on more than one occasion during my 25 years of having periods, had to wrap one up and take it with me when there's been no where suitable to dispose of it. And she forgot! this wasnt intentional, she's hunan. And her cardigan was probably left in a staff area with bags and coats, people are acting like it was left in the fridge.
Her manager sounds like an absolute prick. Tbh though op, even though i do think she's been treated unfairly, she's probably best looking for a job elsewhere. Employment tribunals are long winded and if shes on a zero hours contract it complicates matters. Is she bothered about getting a reference from this guy?

so what do you do with it then?! Very strange story this is & I don’t think it’s the half of it…

Nonetheless, I think it would be embarrassing to even try to argue this case at a tribunal. Everyone is human & forgets things. He shouldn’t have discussed it with anyone. But is it worth the embarrassment of perhaps the local newspapers getting hold of it or all over Facebook etc if she does take him to court?

Completely unfair that he has told the other colleagues, it shows what an unprofessional "Manager" he is. Poor girl, I feel so sorry for her, she must be so embarrassed. That could really affect her mental health. Hopefully it will be forgotten soon and she will find a new , better job. It's not like she acted appallingly. That was a harmless accident.

I can see exactly why she would be let go from this type of job. Hopefully she learns from it.

Used tampon aside

People on a 0 hour contract have no rights

Just popped on to say thank you for the words of support, I was quite upset for her this morning and upon reflection 'unfair dismissal' is going too far. But the way he treated her was awful imo, it would be nice him to acknowledge that. But I agree that poking the fire will just be more upsetting for her.

And for the record, I don't have a bin in my bathroom, it's too small. I also don't flush tampons as it blocks drains. I wrap and dispose of in the bedroom bin. In my daughters shoes, I might not have been comfortable putting it in a kitchen bin, maybe it was an open bin? Who knows.

He was wrong to discuss it with other workers. He could have just mentioned his reason for letting her go in a more professional manner and left it at that. He used the information to humiliate her and that was very wrong of him. No decent person would do that.

I don't think the boss handled this well at all. why was he going through her cardigan pockets?

bigger issue though is that this post is very outing and as you've said that the boss told other staff members it would be super easy to identify your daughter if daily fail picked it up.

speak to ACAS for peace of mind