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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

Ex H cashing in on me dying.

104 replies

HelpIcantfindaname · 11/02/2024 12:15

I have Stage 4 cancer, prognosis about 10 months. I had to give up work & am struggling to pay my bills while still having a mortgage.

Ex H & I took out decreasing mortgage cover when our daughter was born. I have paid all premiums. I have always paid the mortgage. The house is in my name as I bought it before I met ex hubby.

He left for OW when DD was 7. We divorced 4 years later. We did it online. I petitioned, he paid half costs. We did not do a clean break.

I have claimed the mortgage insurance early. The company have agreed to pay out but told me ex H is legally entitled to half as his name is still on the policy.

Ex H wants his half. To me it's like giving him free money, he's cashing in on me dying. If I'd been able to work till I'd paid my mortgage there would be no payout. This policy was not originally taken out to allow anyone to have a windfall. It's for our daughters security.

When I die she wants to remain living in this house with my current husband & her stepbrother.

Macmillan gave me the number of Legacare, they help cancer patients with small fees & first consultation free to see if there is a case but I haven't heard back from them yet. I called another solicitor - they want £1k upfront just to open a case, & then £350 per hour. I don't have that money.

Also, as I've remarried I can't claim anything from ex H. He owns his own house now, which he bought before the divorce.He can claim on my estate. If we did a clean break now he would be alerted to my other assets - could he refuse a clean break so he can go after my life insurance, pension & house? My will leaves these to my family, but could he contest?

Please can anyone advise?

OP posts:
CHRIS003 · 17/02/2024 15:19

TousBous · 17/02/2024 14:58

I’m so sorry you are going through this, @HelpIcantfindaname. You need to get proper legal advice but from what @prh47bridge (who is a lawyer) and the insurance company have said, it doesn’t seem likely that you will be able to fight this. Don’t waste your precious time with your DD stressing about something you can’t change. In the grand scheme of things, £30k is not going to make much difference to your DD’s life, losing out on enjoying the next 10 months with you because you are battling her father will be a greater loss than the money.

Your DD will probably get full funding from student finance for her degree. She doesn’t need the money for that. I would contact student finance to look into whether she would qualify as an estranged student (from her father) or whether funding would be based on her step father’s income if she lives with him. You don’t want to end up with her having to apply based on her DF’s household income if he refuses to support the application as she would only get the minimum loan if he won’t declare his income. I don’t think that would be the case but get everything sorted now for your peace of mind eg how to prove estrangement etc

I would also get legal advice on if there is any way to protect your assets to stop your Ex making a claim on your estate. I believe it is very difficult to contest a will make a successful claim, especially as he is not financially dependent on you. Even if you can’t do anything, you get get advice on what would be needed to contest a claim from him eg mortgage and bank statements, his email agreeing that he only wanted the car etc so everything is in place for your family.

Apologies if this has been covered, where is your DH going to live after your DD goes to university? He already has a life interest in another home. Don’t disadvantage your DC by giving him a life interest in your home so his DS can move into the other house. I’m sure you love your DSS but he has a living, loving parent. Maybe that house can be sold and a smaller property bought for your DH to live in held in trust and some money released for his DS to get on the property ladder. That is not your problem to solve.

I’m not sure your DH would be able to get a mortgage on your home if he doesn’t own it. The same for the house held in trust for your DSS. If your DH “buys” the share of your house that is mortgaged (which I suspect might be the only easy way to get a mortgage) you might be creating a legal nightmare for your DC if he refuses to sell in the future. There are some specialist mortgages eg for parents to buy a home for student DC but I don’t know if there are any for this scenario. You need good financial and legal advice on how to deal with the outstanding mortgage as it is only in your name so I believe it would have to be paid off from your estate. Will your pension pot cover it?

I’m not a lawyer and you haven’t given all the details so I could be wrong. Hopefully those are helpful things to check though. There will be a way to sort everything out though so don’t stress too much and enjoy your lovely family.

Good post - but just one thing OP states in a previous post that there is no mortgage on the home that was left to him when his wife died it was paid off and he put it in his sons name, but he has a life interest in it.
He currently has tenants in this property - the money from rent is going towards the upkeep of the home and into a future pot for his son.
As I said in my post, why can he not evict his tenants and move into the mortgage free home with his step daughter and son.
He does work I believe so he could keep up the house on his income as there is no mortgage on it.
I agree- leaving him living in her house could cause a lot of issues for her adult children - I also suggested that she instructs her house be sold the money split 4 ways between the children.
Leave the executors to sort out any claim from the ex husband.

PinkyBlueMe · 17/02/2024 16:22

Beautiful3 · 17/02/2024 13:21

I'm so sorry you're going through this. In the nicest possible way. You aren't going to get good advice from mumsnet. You urgently need legal advice, to get this sorted. Otherwise I feel sorry for your family, trying to fight it afterwards while dealing with your death.

As @MissLucyEyelesbarrow says, there has been decent advice given including from two qualified lawyers - I am one of those and I see @prh47bridge is too.
It is essential that OP gets legal advice from someone who can know all the facts and see documentation, but it can't be said she hasn't been given some good and sound advice here.
Best of luck OP as this isn't what you need right now but you do need proper help to avoid difficulties after you are not here which I know is what you want to avoid.
If his matrimonial claims were never satisfied he could bring claims under Inheritance (Provisions for Family & Dependants) Act and a financial clean break consent order would dismiss those, so these loose ends need tying up.

Original poster
HelpIcantfindaname · 18/02/2024 20:54

I often don't manage to read a full thread, especially when it's a long one, but always read the OPs posts. I wish everyone would.

I've already said I'm seeing a solicitor next week. She actually thinks we have a good case.

I haven't just chosen not to listen to the good advice - there's been lots of advice given. I'm following the advice to see a solicitor first, which a lot of people suggested.

My DHs house has 2 bedrooms, so he can't go & live in it with his DS & my DD. Also, my DD wants to stay in the house she lives in now, as has been mentioned. It's near her school, friends & her half siblings who she's close to. She will have enough change to cope with when I die, without having to leave the only home she has never known.

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 19/02/2024 00:22

I'm following the advice to see a solicitor first, which a lot of people suggested

That is absolutely the right thing to do. They are far better placed to advise than anyone on here.

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