Ex H cashing in on me dying.

[HelpIcantfindaname]

I have Stage 4 cancer, prognosis about 10 months. I had to give up work & am struggling to pay my bills while still having a mortgage.

Ex H & I took out decreasing mortgage cover when our daughter was born. I have paid all premiums. I have always paid the mortgage. The house is in my name as I bought it before I met ex hubby.

He left for OW when DD was 7. We divorced 4 years later. We did it online. I petitioned, he paid half costs. We did not do a clean break.

I have claimed the mortgage insurance early. The company have agreed to pay out but told me ex H is legally entitled to half as his name is still on the policy.

Ex H wants his half. To me it's like giving him free money, he's cashing in on me dying. If I'd been able to work till I'd paid my mortgage there would be no payout. This policy was not originally taken out to allow anyone to have a windfall. It's for our daughters security.

When I die she wants to remain living in this house with my current husband & her stepbrother.

Macmillan gave me the number of Legacare, they help cancer patients with small fees & first consultation free to see if there is a case but I haven't heard back from them yet. I called another solicitor - they want £1k upfront just to open a case, & then £350 per hour. I don't have that money.

Also, as I've remarried I can't claim anything from ex H. He owns his own house now, which he bought before the divorce.He can claim on my estate. If we did a clean break now he would be alerted to my other assets - could he refuse a clean break so he can go after my life insurance, pension & house? My will leaves these to my family, but could he contest?

Please can anyone advise?

You posted this the other day and had a lot of responses...

@NewYearNewMeMamma

Yes, & quite a few were to suggest posting on legal to hopefully get advice from people with more knowledge.

Not to put anyone down who took time out to message - all messages were very much appreciated.

But someone on here may know more.

Can you remove his name from the policy?

Rude

Who is liable for the mortgage?
If he takes his half, would the mortgage still be paid off?
I think the argument is surely that the policy was there to pay off the mortgage in the type of sad circumstances you have, so that is the priority.

I do think you need legal advice - would it be possible to get advice cheaper than what you have been quoted? It may well be that clarifying the position legally is worth the initial outlay and will allow you to reach a better outcome with your ex.

https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

There is a Scottish version as well, in case you are not in England and Wales.

Is decreasing mortgage cover not purely
to cover the mortgage on the property it is attached too? Honestly your ex sounds utterly despicable.

Could you ask him to put “his” half into a trust for your dd? How old is she? Could it go into an account for her, directly.

At least the insurance company should tell you if you got a clean break settlement would they take him off your insurance policy then? I'd be asking them this. Am I being a bit thick here but if you got clean break settlement would you not be entitled to some of the equity in his house if he bought it before you divorced? Play him at his own game.

do you know any of his friends? Could you sit down with any of them and explain your issue with your ex cashing in on your death with money that is supposed to be for your daughters future without you?

Just thinking if a friend of his spoke to him, firstly that he might listen, secondly with a friend knowing what he is about to do it may make him change his mind.

If you ticked the box saying you wanted to apply for a financial order, you can still do so despite the fact you have remarried. That includes claiming assets from him.

To get a clean break, both you and he will have to disclose all your assets. That includes his pension and house. If you did not tick the box saying you wanted a financial order, he would have to apply for a settlement in order to get a clean break.

It isn't clear how long you have been divorced. The longer ago that happened, the less he is likely to be able to claim from you (or you from him).

As he is your former spouse, he could make a claim against your estate under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act unless he has remarried. That doesn't mean he would get anything.

Why can’t you remove his name from the policy (sorry if this is a stupid question)? Can you try and get him to allocate the money in a trust fund for your DD? I hope you have a water tight will, he sounds awful.

Why???

My banking knowledge is very old but did you have to assign the policy to your mortgage lender to protect them (as well as yourselves) if one of you died and the mortgage couldn't be paid?

Also..

Do you have legal cover as part of your house insurance that might be able to advise you?

Very good points!

I don’t have anything helpful to add but I think you might avoid some unhelpful replies if you edit your OP with the details you included in your previous thread ie that the money is to go into a trust for your DD, not your new DH, and that your ex is refusing to agree to that with the support of his family.

Otherwise you will get non-legal advice replies from people assuming he is a decent human being who would agree to his child inheriting the money.

Unnecessary

I'd take a good look at the wording on the mortgage insurance. We have a policy and it states it's to pay off the mortgage in the event one of us dies before the mortgage is paid off. Not that half of it will be used for the mortgage and the surviving policy holder gets a windfall. That's not usually how insurance policies work.

I don't know the legalities but I'd be making sure your DD (and maybe new DH depending on how you want to split it) are named with the providers as beneficiaries on the life insurance and pension.

I can't help with your question but so sorry to hear what you're going through. I hope your ex wakes up with some sense tomorrow and let's you get on with enjoying your time with your family. All the best to you.

Couldn't edit my post above (wasn't in drop down list) but forgot to add - if you're still working, check in you receive a "death in service" benefit and ensure your DD/DH are listed as beneficiaries for that too.

From previous posts the policy is in the ex’s name. So removing him would void the policy.

You have posted about this a few times OP. You either need legal advice or just to let this go and move on. Please get counselling to talk this through with someone. Time is short and this is a sad way to be spending your energy right now. X

We did NOT do a clean break.

The policy is in both names.

He left in 2016. Divorced in 2020 - long delays in divorce courts, then Covid came & made it longer.

DD is now 15.

I remarried in 2022, just after diagnosis.

I took ill health retirement in May 2023. So no death in service benefit. I'd already been off work a year, I'd had 6 mths full pay, then 6 mths half. It was about to stop. I needed my pension.

House insurance does not include legal cover.

When he left he wanted his name off the policy. My IFA looked into it, the original company had been taken over so we couldn't change anything. Only thing to do was cancel it & me to start again, losing what I'd already paid. A new policy was going to be £15 a month more. I was a single parent, I couldn't afford it. I also thought it was best leaving us both on so the house was protected should anything happen to either of us.

I am liable for the mortgage. I can't pay it all off if he takes his half.

@TousBous

How do I edit it? There doesn't seem to be an edit button to click on.

Op’s previous post was about the morality, the rights and wrongs, and how he’s ex made her feel

sensible advice to post in legal, and get legal advice so you and others are not helping by trying to police what she’s posting.