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Child maintenance pay after 16yrs old

88 replies

Muddays · 15/08/2023 15:09

Firstly, has anyone actually spoken on the phone to any human at the CBA (Citizens Advice Bureau)?
I have tried to contact them repeatedly but no one seems to work there...
My partner is having trouble with his ex wife re weekly payments that have been paid but we know none of them go towards his daughter.
He wants to pay for his child but wants her to get any money directly. She's left school but will be starting an art course at college that she doesn't want to do because her mother wants the still in education benefits. The daughter wants to do work experience and get a job in a practical profession that she will definitely do well in. Not sure what to do.

OP posts:
Muddays · 15/08/2023 22:05

I can't give you the details. I understand that it looks like bs. We will be discussing things with the relevant authorities. I appreciate some of the feedback and hope that the rest of you find a peaceful solution to your constipation issues that won't deafen any nearby canines.

OP posts:
heartofglass23 · 16/08/2023 04:34

You personally know Johnny Depp? Well that says it all!!

No one with love in their heart calls their step daughter "the daughter".

RedHelenB · 16/08/2023 05:31

Muddays · 15/08/2023 15:17

@Normalnormal the money goes on partying and social services seem to be powerless to intervene despite repeated complaints about her behaviour from others (not us btw).

The child's 16. Her mum partying won't be sonething SS will get involved in. If its that bad at home I'm sure SD would ask to live at yours. And since they don't live at yours the money their father pays for them does go towards heating, a roof over their heads food etc.

femfemlicious · 16/08/2023 05:50

She is partying with her massive inheritance, not your child maintenance

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 16/08/2023 05:54

God, that poor girl. We can only hope that her mum isn't as bad as the OP says she is, as her dad and stepmum clearly aren't up to much!

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 16/08/2023 05:59

femfemlicious · 16/08/2023 05:50

She is partying with her massive inheritance, not your child maintenance

It's interesting, isn't it? The OP talks about the "massive inheritance" and the "avalanche of benefits" that the mum has which apparently enable her to feed, clothe and house her stepdaughter. And yet the money that her father contributes towards the cost of feeding, clothing and housing his daughter is reportedly spent on partying instead. Hmm

Fiddleyflop · 16/08/2023 06:57

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MattRifesFutureWife · 16/08/2023 07:08

I’d love to hear the other side of this one.

Johnny Depp. 🤦🏻‍♀️🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

BuddhaAtSea · 16/08/2023 08:48

@Muddays what is your actual issue here? Let’s think about it rationally for a minute.

The 16 yo is not in school. Has no idea what she wants. Has no stability and no money of her own. And you think that the maintenance should go to her.
The rest of it: the mother, the parties, the inheritance, where you live and the name dropping etc is inconsequential. And so is what you think should be done. Because although you do have the girl’s best interest at heart, your priorities are wrong. Your worry about the maintenance and what the mum spends it on. Tell you what, if she decides to move out from her mum’s and rent a place, you’ll be forking out much more than the maintenance.

If you started a thread on how to guide and give direction to a 16 yo, I’d understand. But that’s not what you did, was it?

Fiddleyflop · 16/08/2023 16:01

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AndyMcFlurry · 16/08/2023 18:21

Mumsnet is apparently full of rich single mothers, who never worked a day in their lives, spent all their money partying, going on holiday, wearing designer clothes and getting their nails done ( nails are apparently the most scorned luxury item , it used to be a “ wide screen TV”).

The all got the huge mortgage free home in the divorce from their lovely kind rich ex, who apparently came out of the divorce with nothing but debts.

Or here today we have a new twist - they inherited it.

It goes without saying that all these apocryphal women are shit mothers who neglect their children and never let them see their fathers. Who of course can’t go to court for access because Reasons.

And yet these amazing loving fathers never seem to go to social services about these neglectful mothers and they certainly never go to the courts to ask for full time residence. There’s always a Reason.

Perhaps a job that involves shifts that he can’t possibly change to care for his own children because of his penis. Or he is forced to ( at gunpoint no doubt ) to move miles away so he can hardly ever see his children.

How very convenient.

And the he’s FORCED to have more kids, even though he can’t afford to pay for the ones he has already and he’s too busy to see them.

But he still wants to bitch about what a shit mother she is. From his safe distance two hours away. And his moral high horse of doing zero parenting.

And how convenient, he can’t have his child overnight, because she doesn’t want to. Odd really , considering that he is a model father and her mother is neglectful and abusive, you’d think she’s jump at the chance.

Oh no, let me guess, it’s because her alcoholic drug using narc mother has brainwashed her. Reasons again.

The worst thing is the way that these loser men seem to find another women stupid enough to take them on . And even to post on Mn for them, trying to get tips on how to screw their ex over, yet again.

We see you.

ConnieTucker · 16/08/2023 18:28

femfemlicious · 16/08/2023 05:50

She is partying with her massive inheritance, not your child maintenance

Dont be silly. The ex could have millions and it would still be the child maintenance she was spending on her nails.

My partner is having trouble with his ex wife re weekly payments that have been paid but we know none of them go towards his daughter.
is he housed, clothed and fed? How does she get anywhere? How can no money be spent on a child who is living with you?

ItsNotRocketSalad · 16/08/2023 18:52

AndyMcFlurry · 16/08/2023 18:21

Mumsnet is apparently full of rich single mothers, who never worked a day in their lives, spent all their money partying, going on holiday, wearing designer clothes and getting their nails done ( nails are apparently the most scorned luxury item , it used to be a “ wide screen TV”).

The all got the huge mortgage free home in the divorce from their lovely kind rich ex, who apparently came out of the divorce with nothing but debts.

Or here today we have a new twist - they inherited it.

It goes without saying that all these apocryphal women are shit mothers who neglect their children and never let them see their fathers. Who of course can’t go to court for access because Reasons.

And yet these amazing loving fathers never seem to go to social services about these neglectful mothers and they certainly never go to the courts to ask for full time residence. There’s always a Reason.

Perhaps a job that involves shifts that he can’t possibly change to care for his own children because of his penis. Or he is forced to ( at gunpoint no doubt ) to move miles away so he can hardly ever see his children.

How very convenient.

And the he’s FORCED to have more kids, even though he can’t afford to pay for the ones he has already and he’s too busy to see them.

But he still wants to bitch about what a shit mother she is. From his safe distance two hours away. And his moral high horse of doing zero parenting.

And how convenient, he can’t have his child overnight, because she doesn’t want to. Odd really , considering that he is a model father and her mother is neglectful and abusive, you’d think she’s jump at the chance.

Oh no, let me guess, it’s because her alcoholic drug using narc mother has brainwashed her. Reasons again.

The worst thing is the way that these loser men seem to find another women stupid enough to take them on . And even to post on Mn for them, trying to get tips on how to screw their ex over, yet again.

We see you.

👏👏👏

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