Divorce Finances - Will this happen?

[WishItWereSummer]

Hello MN,

Have MC for this and posting for advice on behalf of a friend.

Currently divorcing couple. H is not a high earner £43k pa. W works PT. 4 Children, 16, 15, 12, 5. House Equity £30k approx.

H has moved out and is currently paying the mortgage & bills on the marital home whilst the W lives there with the children.

Have had several mediation sessions to work our finances but all have failed. W wants the H to continue to pay Mortgage, Bills & Child Support until youngest reaches 18, and is adamant that a court would grant this.
H currently cannot afford to continue paying all of this and house himself.

He has offered:

1. To sell and split equity 60/40 to the wife with pension sharing order
2. To sell and give all equity to the wife with no pension claims
3. She buys him out of the property and takes over the mortgage herself
4. She gets a Mesher Order and stays until youngest reaches 18 but she has to cover mortgage payments and bills and he will pay Child Support as agreed

She's refused them all, and thinks that the courts will allow her to stay until youngest is 18 and he will have to pay Mortgage & Bills as well as Child Support.

This can't be right surely?

Thanks in advance

No, she absolutely will not agree to the house being sold at all - and will obstruct any attempts to do (even with a court order most probably)

How much is outstanding on the mortgage?

Oh just seen mortgage is in his sole name 🥴

Well then he needs to instruct a solicitor to apply for a forced sale. She can apply for a mesher but they are very rare and like others have said she'll be expected to cover all the mortgage

He would even agree to a Mesher Order as long as she covered the mortgage payments. But she won't. She genuinely thinks she's entitled to live there with him paying for everything for another 12 years......

This woman is taking a pretty penny home

20k
plus child benefit
plus reduced council tax
plus universal credit

no rent!!!

if I was the man I would ring the bank and ask for a repayment break

no judge will allow her what she wants as the priority means you must both have somewhere to live

Nothing to say exw won't get a mortgage with her earnings plus uc and cms. Some lenders will lend in this situation if there is a large deposit.

Just seen he is paying all bills too!!!

nope nope stop that too!!

She clearly thinks he’s a soft touch and is taking advantage!

how much is this mortgage? Each month

Mortgage is approx £1k per month

I am guessing that the wife hasn't had legal advice. If the husband offered to pay for an hour for her to talk to a solicitor, would she accept? Some people need to hear from an expert that their preconceptions are wrong.

His only financial obligation after the house equity/pension stuff is sorted is Child Maintenance. It looks like one of the kids is exam year so if I were him I'd say that the house had to go on the market after exams. If the mortgage is more than CM then I'd be saying no CM until she moves out. She has £20k pa salary so she can pay bills until then. Putting the house on the market in June gives her time to find more hours and decide if she wants house equity or equity plus pension share.

He should transfer any bills in his name or both names to just hers and cancel any direct debits from his account.

He should move back in tbh. That might focus her mind a little.

If it's his name on the mortgage, he's paying mortgage and bills and he can't afford this situation to continue much longer, I don't see what choice he has.

She's taking the absolute piss. If she wants to live there, she needs to pay.

You can't force someone to be reasonable. Given he's currently spending (I'd assume) upwards of £2k a month on the status quo I think he needs to accept they won't reach an amicable solution and just get the ball rolling on this going to court.

What are property prices like in the area they live? How much would a standard 2/3 bed property cost?

Has he filed for divorce?

If the mortgage is in his name, is he the sole name on the deeds, or are they joint tenants/tenants in common?

I've posted up-thread but will post again.

He needs to nip everything in the bud now. The mediation isn't working - he can't give what isn't there - so it needs taking to court for resolution.

She can make this very messy and VERY expensive but that will only eat into the joint assets.

Ultimately she can and will be forced to move, by court order and bailiffs if necessary. As pp said, he needs to take his name off the bills if he isn't living there. She needs to get a full time job.

Unless there is a ££££££ pension pot that he isn't prepared to add in, then there simply isn't enough money to go round.

If it’s 1k how much outstanding about 180k?

“He needs to nip everything in the bud now. The mediation isn't working - he can't give what isn't there - so it needs taking to court for resolution. “

Agree

Mortgage holiday?

The house sells, equity is split, taking into account savings and pensions and both rent until they can afford to buy. She should be seeking full time employment, only the youngest needs wrap around care.

Many of us have had to sell, it's normal, and on far higher incomes than that

Thanks for all your advice.

He's told the ExW that from April he will no longer be covering the bills and has let the companies know this also and cancelled the DD's.

He's going to see a solicitor before the final mediation hearing next week and get some advice as to the best way to proceed that's fair for everyone.

ExW hasn't taken any advice other than Google, and says she cannot afford to do so either despite it being suggested.

For those that asked, there's still a fair amount left on the mortgage approx 200k.

She's deluded. I'm not normally an advocate of showing people the threads about them but in this case I'll male an exception and suggest you send her the link....

And to add he could probably represent himself in court quite easily. If the W Wants to rack up legal fees that's up to her.

He'll have all the evidence of what he has offered / mediation discussions etc.

Why not just self represent in court?

In the meantime, perhaps a shift to interest only payment on the mortgage

20k after tax is £1500, then she will have universal credit, then child benefit, council tax discount

maybe you could say she will take home roughly 2k a month plus whatever maintenance the husband pays

or she could sell that house and maybe buy somewhere much cheap did he lets her keep the equity

Yes and he could ask lender to switch to a interest only repayments for the time being