Has anyone done the REMO route for child maintenance?

[Legaldispair]

So my ex husband is suppose to pay child maintenance, paid the minimum for a few years and last year I noticed CMS were using old information to work out what he should pay me as his salary had trebled and they have never recalculated, to cut a long story short I have a hearing soon about this as he continued to dispute it and HE took it to tribunal. THEN on top of that he moved to New York… has always threatened it, and has paid nothing for a year as he ‘doesn’t know what he is supposed to pay as there are no rules’ due to the fact him and myself are both UK citizens. Not even paying a contribution amount and not even bothering to look into it so I have had no choice but to go down the REMO route. Those papers have only just gone off to then as it took 6 months just to get these papers (CMS were dicking around in the mean time and not helping with this) so he owes me aLOT of money in under payments which I know America won’t be interested in and he hasn’t paid me for a year… has anyone actually had any success with the Remo route? I’m slowly running out of any positivity. I can’t afford legal help so I’m on my own.

can anyone share this experiences with me please? Anything I need to know that they don’t tell you etc?

@Serrina

That's good news and bad news at the same time. REMO are just sooooooooo bad there aren't enough adjectives to describe them. To take 3 months just to ask you to sign the papers, that's really only a quick phone call.

I remember I was asked to update the arrears by Sweden and in those days it was the judge in my case who had to sign off the paperwork (no MEBC then). However, he was so frustrated with REMO and that they had taken so long to forward on the paperwork that he gave me the paperwork to send directly to Sweden.

Have you been asked to provide a Power of Attorney? Some REMO countries ask for one.

@Sunchi so I called Remo again today. No real update, just the same news as a month ago - the USA authorities have received everything, they've gone back to Remo and confirmed they've received it and said "no further information required". So no change from what I'd been told previously, however the lady on the phone sounded a bit more positive as she said it appears they are getting ready to serve papers on my ex, if they haven't already. She said it could also be that the MEBC have more information but Remo haven't received it yet. So she said to call back in about 3 weeks and there should be something they can update me with. Its such a pain MEBC have shut their phone lines! I'm guessing they haven't served the papers on him yet, as I haven't had the tirade of abuse I will inevitably get when that happens. Oh what fun 🫤

Thank you so much. @Sunchi Working my way through the updates and will read this tomorrow.

Update.

Documents sent via remo to the home state in the USA 8th of May so anticipating any day contact now.

I will update this thread with my experiences

@BePoisedLeader sounds like you and I are in a similar boat. Fingers crossed!

@Sunchi they haven't said anything about power of attorney

@Serrina And anyone else out there.

I came across this legal firm. They explain how divorce works in many countries around the world. It is written in plain English and is quite informative, should anyone on here want more info about separation and child maintenance/abduction.
https://www.wiselaw.co.uk/international-divorce-lawyers/

@BePoisedLeader I have been speaking to a mum with the other parent in Washington state. They asked her to go direct to them and not go through REMO.

Additionally, I have been in contact with another parent who went via REMO to Michigan state. They (the US) dealt with her paperwork swiftly (5 months after arriving in the US) and she now has a legally binding order for child maintenance which was far higher than she was expecting to get. The process was pretty seemless and very efficient. Once her paperwork arrived from REMO, there was no going back and forth, it was between her and the Michigan state.

REMO take note!

Ohhhh amazing. I am hoping things move and conclude in my sons favour as quickly as possible. It has been a long emotionally tiring process and I am ready to cut all ties with this breadcrumber and his games. The chase and fighting to be heard has been horrific

@BePoisedLeader It is a staggering amount of work we are expected to undertake just to get something that our children are legally entitled to. The emotional toll is palpable and I don't think the authorities have any idea just how much we mums are invested in these processes and how frustratingly long we find them. The games the other parents play are truly mind-boggling.

It has a name today and is called coercive control and economic abuse. We should be calling this out at every opportunity, so that it becomes normal and everyone starts to understand how pervasive it is all over the world and the effects it has.

Here here, well stated!

I’ve emailed the MEBC today, 24th Aug 2024 to ask for an update on my case. Their auto response says they are currently working on items receive on the 6th Nov 2023!!🤯🤬

“Thank you for contacting the Maintenance Enforcement Business Centre.

Please accept this email as confirmation that your email has been received and placed in a queue. We are currently working on items received on 6th November 2023.”

This system is broken! 😤

@Okapimum Yes, the system is definitely broken! The email you received seems to be generic as many parents have posted similar when they have contacted MEBC. I don't think you will have to wait that length of time.

@Sunchi I hope you are right… 🤞🏽

@Okapimum Me too..........

@Sunchi I am about to start a REMO application with my ex in Sweden, am i able to contact you for help please, if that would be okay?

@MauveTurtle: Yes, of course you can. I have a FB group and can be contacted via email through SPSAS. Let me know.

@MauveTurtle or on here.

Hi everybody wow! So two years plus since filing my paperwork and this being fast tracked following a complaint in May, REMO confirmed that the receiving court have now sent documents to the UK courts 'for consideration ' what does this actually mean, as REMO were very guarded in their wording and appeared unwilling/unable to give me any clear information? I have emailed MBEC and the admin who intially responded to my complaint but yes like everyone reflects (they are working on documents received Nov 23). Does this sound like it has been successful, I am hopeful though mbec had eventually said that the jurisdiction and unsual features of my case military member serving here there and everywhere, as they had pointed out, it may stall or not progress?

@BePoisedLeader Hi there, some great news! So happy to hear that the complaint pushed things along faster (lol).

I have no idea what 'for consideration' means as I am not legally trained, but you could contact the SPSAS FB page and ask them as they do have legal people on there who give advice. And as it's the UK we are talking about, someone there should know.

REMO/MEBC are always very guarded - never transparent - as no-one in either institution is legally trained. They are just bureaucrats.

Have you joined my FB group - Get Child Maintenance from Abroad (REMO)? I have posted quite a bit of information there about the US and a certain amount about the military.

Anyway, keep letting us know what happens. I don't think I've come across anyone with an ex in the US military.

@BePoisedLeader I've found this website. Maybe send a chat message or call them for free advice.

Helping families Helping children - Family Rights Group (frg.org.uk)

Get Help and Advice - Family Rights Group (frg.org.uk)

I would certainly contact SPSAS as they have all sorts of help available free of charge:
SPSAS - Single Parents Support and Advice Services, Lone Parent as they ,

Don't forget: Rights of Women and Gingerbread.

You are amazing, on with all those recommendations thank you. Would love sit down with you and figure out how we can lobby some legislation changes, it's such a bizzare system. I will indeed keep you all updated. This page has been instrumentals and given me much more faith than I have in this system.

@BePoisedLeader I'm up for changing the system, lobbying, you name it.

Last month I spoke to a man who runs IncomeMax. It's an organisation that helps people get the right benefits. He's been in the benefits world all of his working life and he told me he'd never heard of REMO. I've spoken to my local CAB and they'd never heard of it either. Gingerbread are now aware of the work I do and have promised to include me in meetings with stakeholders, but nothing so far.

@Sunchi it's astonishing how many people are completely unaware of Remo. I've even spoken to solicitors who have never heard of it. I contacted Remo last week and they have heard back from the USA, they've asked him to send payment history and they've put it on the system as "nil". But they couldn't tell me much else apart from the fact that it's gone back to the MEBC. It's so frustrating.

@Serrina a chocolate teapot organisation comes to mind. If it wasn't so serious, it would be funny.

@Sunchi I'm completely at a loss as to what to do next. MEBC aren't responding. I have no idea what to do in order to move things forward.