Has anyone done the REMO route for child maintenance?

[Legaldispair]

So my ex husband is suppose to pay child maintenance, paid the minimum for a few years and last year I noticed CMS were using old information to work out what he should pay me as his salary had trebled and they have never recalculated, to cut a long story short I have a hearing soon about this as he continued to dispute it and HE took it to tribunal. THEN on top of that he moved to New York… has always threatened it, and has paid nothing for a year as he ‘doesn’t know what he is supposed to pay as there are no rules’ due to the fact him and myself are both UK citizens. Not even paying a contribution amount and not even bothering to look into it so I have had no choice but to go down the REMO route. Those papers have only just gone off to then as it took 6 months just to get these papers (CMS were dicking around in the mean time and not helping with this) so he owes me aLOT of money in under payments which I know America won’t be interested in and he hasn’t paid me for a year… has anyone actually had any success with the Remo route? I’m slowly running out of any positivity. I can’t afford legal help so I’m on my own.

can anyone share this experiences with me please? Anything I need to know that they don’t tell you etc?

@Bluefields This is really interesting information about child abandonment in Belgium. Well worth knowing and passing on to anyone who has a case there.

With regards to the backlog, is this in the UK or Belgium?

@Sunchi this is what I was told by CA in Belgium. They still have a backlog they are working through

@Bluefields Thank you for sharing all your information and yes, we do need to keep fighting. We have to teach men that raising a child needs two parents and if they aren't willing to share their time then they can at least be made to make a financial contribution. A 10 year backlog is just scandalous and it should be something to be screamed from the roof tops.

It does seem that anything to do with women and children is not considered a priority by so many governments. It has been researched and documented, however, just how much better and easier women's/children's lives would be if they received the child maintenance they were due. It is hard enough being a single parent and especially a single parent when the other lives in another country and doesn't share the everyday stuff, let alone being without any financial support. Similarly, economies of the world would be so much more better off if women were supported into work and with childcare. However, this seems to have passed by those in power.

@Sunchi can you imagine the despair of the women who having been waiting for over 10 years. It was shocking to hear, but unfortunately not surprising. It is like pulling teeth. So if Belgium is like this you only imagine other countries around the world. Once it reaches court it is still likely 2 years before any final decision made. Most children I'm sure will be adults by the time this is dealt with. But as the lady told me this is just not a priority for the government. Single mothers are way down the list.

@Sunchi powerfully summarised

@Bluefields the fact that some women have been waiting over 10 years makes me wonder, is anyone actually receiving anything through this service? Because all through this entire thread, I don't think I've seen one person say they are! 😦

@Bluefields Yes, waiting for 10 years and then to go through another couple of years as the case goes through the courts. What a disaster for those families. As you say, children can be adults by the time any money comes through. The time when the money was desperately needed is right now!!!! It's no wonder so many of us give up as it just feels like we are wasting our time and energy. These men and governments should hang their heads in shame.

@Serrina I'm not sure about on here but on my FB group there are women who do receive money. I did eventually and so did my son, who was an adult when the money came through. My ex still owes about 20K in child maintenance and that will never be paid off as he is in his 80s now. However, it will be taken into account when he dies. Not that he has any assets left now after a third marriage.

@BePoisedLeader Have you tried this: Support for Military Personnel & Families | Military OneSource

Strengthen Your Military Relationship | Military OneSource

I think you can 'chat' and ask about child maintenance, or finding info about it anyway.

No.I haven't but thank you I will look into it right now. @Sunchi

Hi all so updates #exhausting.com

The superior of my sons dad has been wonderful making it clear to the guy that he has a moral duty to adequately provide for his son however the Guy has stated that he is going to be speaking to a solicitor to deal get (advice) he was not happy that he had been advised to pay more money and half of our childs expenses . The superior cannot enfore him to pay with no legal order.

Soooo

I have an appointment with the USA embassy for my childs passport but it is unlikely that the father will sign an updated birth certificate to add his name on, unlikley to put in writing depite his superiors advice, that he will provide cs till our child is 18 and has stated that he has no legal documentation that he is our childs father ( yes this is how wonderful and upstanding he is)

Does anyone now if I can request a court ordered dna test,the embassy have mentioned that they may need this however unsure of how they would go about this without his consent.

Secondly anyone heard about schedule 1 and any success?

MBEC finally reponded and said that they will send my application to REMO putting it at the top of the pile but upon speaking with the state cs they have said they cannot pursue a claim against a military member on active duty. OMG

@BePoisedLeader Hi there, so some goods and maybe so not good news.

His superior is correct in saying that to enforce child maintenance you will need a legally binding document if he is unwilling to pay voluntarily, which he isn't.

With regards to DNA testing, I would either google this, put it in a general thread on here or put it on the FB group - Single Parents Support and Advice Services - as someone on there will definitely know. I don't I'm afraid.

With regards to him being in the services and therefore not liable for child maintenance doesn't ring true as all parents are legally obliged to support their children. So, I would want to check this.

Apparently, there is something called Dead Beat Dads on the net. I haven't checked it out, but it may be useful as I think it is a US thing.

@BePoisedLeader

I found this. Could be useful as this is about the US system (although not about military guys)

Deadbeat Dad Stereotypes and Unpaid Child Support (verywellfamily.com)

@BePoisedLeader You need to read this.

Child Support Regulations for Military Service Members (verywellfamily.com)

@BePoisedLeader in other words, what you were told was BS! Also, this will help to inform REMO, who should bleepity bleep know this. It took me 5 mins to find.

Amazing thank you again. Will look into this. This is what I thought, but they have not responded to my request for clarification. Soldier's protection from civil acts, bizzare! @Sunchi

@BePoisedLeader Here is another link I have just found about the US military and child support in the US.

Working with the Military on Child Support Matters | The Administration for Children and Families (hhs.gov)

@worstparent Habitually resident” because of their occupation The GOV.UK page on child maintenance if a parent lives abroad explains that if a non-resident parent is working abroad for certain British organisations, it may be possible to contact the CMS and make a new child maintenance claim. These include working overseas: • as a civil servant, • for His Majesty’s Diplomatic Service, • as a member of the armed forces (including people employed in a territorial, auxiliary or volunteer reserve association under the Reserve Forces Act 199615), • for a company based and registered in the UK (i.e. a company which employs somebody to work abroad but which makes payment arrangements in the UK), • for the NHS, or • for a local authority

@Legaldispair I was told by the head of CMS that if you have any outstanding maintenance debts with the CMS before you moved over to REMO, then you should apply to them for a liability order. This can then be sent to REMO.

I have a Facebook group, Get Maintenance from Abroad (REMO. If you are looking for child maintenance from abroad, then you are welcome to join. I also volunteer through Single Parents Support and Advice Services FB group too on REMO matters. This group offers lots of services and support including free legal advice.

@Sunchi if I join the group will my ex or his family be able to see that I am in it? I'm a bit worried because he and a lot of his family are still on my Facebook

@Sunchi It's a private group and I let people in. 1) Would they know about the group? 2) You can be an anonymous member.

It's your decision., of course.

@BePoisedLeader more info about the US and child support.
How Can I Collect Child Support from a Parent in Another Country? - HG.org

@BePoisedLeader and this:

Brief update: REMO - UK vs Spain
I have posted here before regarding my personal situation. But just to give you a brief update and yet another example of the appalling service provided by the MEBC... I received an email from the MEBC 3 months ago (2 years after starting my REMO process!), saying that the Spanish authorities were asking for an updated arrears calculations to file the lawsuit. I promptly replied, of course, with an updated certificate of arrears. And today - 3 MONTHS LATER - the MEBC sent me another email, saying that I did not add a date and signature to the bottom of the document, and asking me to resend. Ok, it was my mistake and I should have added a signature, obviously. But three months?! That is utterly shocking! I will make a formal complaint tomorrow (check out previous posts on this thread detailing how to make an official complaint).

On the bright side, I found a paid online calculator that helped me calculate the child maintenance owed taking into account the Spanish inflation rate, and with added interests on top of it (I had no idea how to do it by myself). It is for Spain only. DM me if you want to know more about this calculator.

And please do not forget to add your name, date and signature to the documents you send to MEBC!