Has anyone done the REMO route for child maintenance?

[Legaldispair]

So my ex husband is suppose to pay child maintenance, paid the minimum for a few years and last year I noticed CMS were using old information to work out what he should pay me as his salary had trebled and they have never recalculated, to cut a long story short I have a hearing soon about this as he continued to dispute it and HE took it to tribunal. THEN on top of that he moved to New York… has always threatened it, and has paid nothing for a year as he ‘doesn’t know what he is supposed to pay as there are no rules’ due to the fact him and myself are both UK citizens. Not even paying a contribution amount and not even bothering to look into it so I have had no choice but to go down the REMO route. Those papers have only just gone off to then as it took 6 months just to get these papers (CMS were dicking around in the mean time and not helping with this) so he owes me aLOT of money in under payments which I know America won’t be interested in and he hasn’t paid me for a year… has anyone actually had any success with the Remo route? I’m slowly running out of any positivity. I can’t afford legal help so I’m on my own.

can anyone share this experiences with me please? Anything I need to know that they don’t tell you etc?

@Serrina Happy to hear that things are moving forward for you. At long last!

Different states have different timelines/laws around serving the other parent. Some have a 30 day turnaround, others seem to take their time.

Fingers crossed that he's living in one with a quick turnaround timeline.

Why don't you concentrate on increasing your own earning potential?

@taxpayer1 did you mean to say that? It’s such a strange response. You surely can’t be a parent, let alone a single parent with SN children.

I've too have contacted the central authorities in Belgium. Makes it easier knowing what is happening.

@Sunchi what helped get the ball rolling for me was when I sent a complaint through the HMCTS website about the poor communication and lack of transparency in the whole process. Within a week I got a reply saying that my application had been sent to Remo and that they would process it within 30 days. Then 2 days ago I had another email saying that Remo have sent it to the Central Authority for the USA for consideration. I'm not sure exactly what this will mean, I'm still feeling rather dubious about it all!

@Bluefields yes, it certainly does and good for you for contacting them directly. It's all very well the Hague Convention saying that we shouldn't contact the CA, and REMO telling us we shouldn't, but when they are so uncommunicative, then I think we should take the initiative, to be reassured.

I have contact with someone in another country who is applying to this country for her child maintenance and REMO has a poor reputation there and is on their blacklist!

@Serrina Well done Serrina for making a complaint. It is so frustrating that REMO/MEBC seem incapable of giving us an efficient service and communicate with applicants. I mean what kind of service are they running, for goodness sake!

30 days is appalling. According to the Ombudsman when I complained an initial application should only take 5 working days!

Now it's in the US, it will be sent pronto to the federal court in the state that your ex is residing in.

@Sunchi thanks. Let's hope they're much more efficient in Illinois than they are here!

@Serrina Fingers crossed that they are much more efficient.

Yes Its been 13 months in progress with them doing absoloutley nothing with the paperwork and I mean nothing (due to their backlog and filing system) and when information they requested from me is sent back to them (immediately) it goes back into a several month long pile 😢

My current situation though he is working for the usa airforce and staioned back here for a time I am unsure of. Anyone any experience with this as remo service now saying they cannot assit

Amazing thank you

Hello all, just stumbled across this very helpful thread, ao nuch info already thank you. I am hoping someone can please help me. December 2022 I filed with the mbec a child support claim for my uk dependent child, against his father who is in the usaf and a usa tax paying citizen.

The application has been frustratingly slow and in fact has still not been processed nor sent to the court of the childs fathers home state of the USA to this present moment

In this time the absent father has recently returned to work in the UK, likley living off base with th USAF.

Updates with the mbec-they have said as a result of his being back in the UK they are unable to continue with the application. After a complaint they said we can continue but it may stall. Three months later still no update.

I have requested this continue as it is not known if he is back in the states, living on or off base etc.

Please can anyone point me in the direction of the right form to complete here in the UK courts to apply for child maintenance here in the UK OR to be sent to USA to apply there and have it enforced here or in the usa?

I have contacted his home state and they advised that I need to make an application within the UK to be sent to them. How the UK courts appear as clueless as me.

The REMO service are unlikley to ve able to assist and have been painfully slow, I am really struggling with any timeley action, understanding or next steps I can take. I have filed a complaint to the MBEC.

I have also contacted his commander in charge but no repsonse.

Thanks in advance

If still available i would like to contribute

Hiya everyone,

just wanting some advice. My application was sent to USA in NJ at the beginning of March. They said 30 day turn around. Not heard anything yet.

Has anyone got any update about sending their application to USA and how long this usually takes for payments? Many thanks

@BePoisedLeader Hi there, I'm not sure that I have seen all of this thread, but I can tell you what I know.

REMO is part of the Ministry of Justice and processes applications for child maintenance when one partner lives in another country. The USA is a reciprocating country which means you can make an application. REMO adheres to the Hague Convention of 2007.

1. You cannot enforce a claim for child maintenance without going through either a UK court or the US court to obtain a Consent Order. You cannot enforce a verbal contract, it must be in writing.

2. If you do not have a Consent Order, REMO can act on your behalf through a US lawyer in a US court to obtain one. You will not pay any costs. But he must be living in the US in order for this to take place.

3. You can also obtain a Consent Order from the UK. However, you will have to pay legal costs as legal aid is no longer available in the UK. This will also take time. You will then have to apply for this maintenance order to be made legally binding in the US, which means going through REMO.

4. My opinion is that you must try and establish the whereabouts of your expartner first as REMO will probably not act if you are unsure as to his whereabouts vis a vis UK/USA.

REMO/MEBC are under-resourced and their practices are poor. Communication is appalling. There is also a backlog due to COVID, and the re-organisation, which closed 2 MEBCs in the past 18 months.

I have asked a relative who was in the US military (she still lives in the US) if there is some kind of register of military personnel. She couldn't remember but promised to contact a friend and get back to me. There must surely be something 'out there' as so much is on the internet nowadays. Where have you looked? Also, have you used the usual route of social media, telephone directories (old school, I know), etc. I read that you had contacted his commander. I think that's brilliant. It could land you a result as this would be embarrassing for him. If you don't get an answer, I'd keep contacting them.

I don't know if this info helps. Do let me know.

@UKmama78 Hi, if your application was sent about a month ago to the US, with a 30 day turnaround, then your ex would need to be served and called to court in order to establish a child maintenance order (I hope I have understood you correctly).

A 30 day turnaround is brilliant, but of course your ex can delay things. Remember he has to go to court (probably with a lawyer) and a date has to be set for that. Then an agreement has to be made. So 30 days sounds amazing, but in reality it could be longer.

Once a court order has been established, they will usually give him time to pay. Different states may have different timeframes. He may cough up immediately, but if he doesn't then they will have to enforce payment. So, there could be more delays.

All of the above are all generalisations of course as I don't know what the rules are for each US state and how strict they are about enforcing their own rules. I'm just using my common sense - and some of my own experience - to work out a timeline.

Thank you for your information. I am still figuring out how to post. Following some fab advice on here I contacted the usa central child maintenance authority and they responded immediately and said if he is not in the USA and on active duty elsewhere they cannot assit. I contacted the USA state court of his home town and they said REMO need to act on my behalf to send an order to them and that the advice REMO had provided they cannot assit as he is in the same country as myself (the UK) is incorrect. I am still awaiting a response from my complaint regarding how everything has and is being communicated and handled and hope this speeds up their contact with me. I am also awaiting a repsponse from his superior however over a week now I am wondering if this is going to arrive. @Sunchi i am certain he is still here in the UK.

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. It sounds like you are doing everything you can. It does sound right what the US courts have said. At the end if the day he is a US citizen in the US army so it should be the US courts that deal with this wherever he is on active duty or not. So for example if he was active duty in Afghanistan would they expect the court in Afghanistan to administer child maintenance, the logic does not add up. I would fight for the US court to deal with this. See if you can get a lawyer on a pro bono basis if Remo does not assist.

My ex is in Belgium and has tried to evade payment for years, but finally it is catching up to him. I'm in contact directly with the Central Authority there and now a legal aid solicitor will be filing a case in the court against him. So fingers x.....it is a very slow process and it it seems it designed to make it as hard as possible but be patient and persistent and it will happen.

@Bluefields brilliant news! I am so pleased that things are moving forward for you and that you have been informed. Communication is key and makes us feel reassured that something is happening. This is what the MEBC and REMO don't seem to get.

Great news that the CA in Belgium is responding as they are not obliged to, but in my opinion, it is essential to have contact with them as they are responsible for your case in Belgium and you in the UK. It is not REMO's or the MEBC's responsibility, which is bonkers.

@BePoisedLeader It's great to hear that you have had a direct response from the courts in the US. As mentioned before, they are not obligated to do so according to the Hague Convention, but when you are getting zero response from REMO/MEBC what do they expect us to do. So well done!

I know that if you are in the UK services or work for a UK firm and move abroad, then there is a different REMO procedure, so I would have imagined that something similar would apply to you.

My relative in the US has contacted someone who maybe able to assist with personnel in the military. If I get anything, I will post it on here.

Hi thank you for your message, it really isn't great is it how we have to exhaust ourselves to get the support out children need and deserve. Crazy behaviours. How did you manage to get a legal aid case taken on? I believe I would qualify due to domestic abuse, however all the solicitors bar one have said that they cannot assist, the one who would offer a expensive consultation knew less than me ?! Stressed.com @Bluefields

This is amazing to hear, I wait with baited breath thank you so much ❤️ @Sunchi

Yes, it is a relief to have direct contact with them. I would definitely recommend going directly to the CA where the parent resides. I still expect it to be long drawn out, as he will fight all the way, but I'm fine with that as I know he now can't escape payment toward the children. In Belgium it is possible to file a criminal case for child abandoment for non payment of child support. I haven't done so as yet but considering it. This is something all parents should look at where the no paying parents reside. Use all the tools available out there.

@BePoisedLeader I tell you now, you probably won't find a lawyer who knows anything about the REMO process. And some, would quite happily charge you thousands for something that you already know. When we're in this process, we find out so much for ourselves and I've yet to hear of a lawyer who can navigate the REMO process free of charge. It is shocking that we have to bash our heads against a brick wall to get anywhere, and it really is galling that expartners get away with not paying. It feels like the system is working against us, not for us.

When I applied for my child maintenance I was the first person to do so in Cardiff. In my day, things went through the family court first, then REMO. The family courts have been replaced by the MEBC. I was eligible for legal aid because my case happened before it was withdrawn for divorce cases. That's how long I've been going!

@BePoisedLeader @Sunchi it is terrible that we are left to fight this ourselves but CA are also under resourced. I was told that there was a backlog of over 10 years until 2 years ago. The government really don't care, it is not the sexist of issues, single mother ex partners not paying child support. So resources are not there and not given priority. We just need to persist, stay focused and strong. I will not give up. I intend to fight all the way.