Mediation with abusive ex

[ItIsLife]

I came out of an abusive marriage a year ago. I have been attempting to settle financials so we can divorce and we have tried shuttle mediation. We are not making progress because he is delaying and being v difficult (I won't go into details too outing, but even mediator was astonished at his behaviour).

I am the higher earner and I want to try and buy him out of the home. He may also make a significant claim on my pension fund. Unfortunately all my savings have gone into legal representation for protective and child arrangement orders so I really can't get a solicitor to take this to court. Despite the abuse, unfortunately I don't qualify for Legal Aid because of my income.

Would I be better off leaving it and letting him come to his senses that he'd be better off financially if we come to some kind of agreement or should I let it run through court and let judge decide what the settlement should be?

I’m sorry I have no experience with this but bumping for you. Best of luck

I would not engage in mediation with someone who is abusive, they will have no interest in coming to a mutually agreeable arrangement with you and will basically use it to retain their control over you by fucking with you. I would strongly recommend saving your sanity and taking it to court.

@BoxOfCats thank you, it does feel that way. I was hoping mediation would allow me to secure a better 'deal' for me and our children but it is coming at too great a cost and court is probably the way to go

@sintrawest thank you 😘