Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

Court requesting DNA

30 replies

lavenderbaby · 31/07/2022 23:02

my very abusive ex is threatening to request DNA in order to apply for a child arrangement order. I need help and advice please do not comment nasty comments.

Am I able to refuse a DNA ordered by the courts if he does and what are the repercussions for doing so?

Thanking all your help in advance

OP posts:
NewIdeasToday · 31/07/2022 23:54

Why would you refuse?
is it not his child!

Original poster
lavenderbaby · 01/08/2022 00:17

@NewIdeasToday yes it is his child however he is a very unsafe person. Which is why I am asking if I can refuse it in order to keep my child safe from him

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 01/08/2022 00:19

Probably not tbh

Is he on the birth certificate
Do you live close to each other
Does he have a criminal record?

Johnnysgirl · 01/08/2022 00:21

You can't refuse something that's been court ordered, no. If you both know it's his child what could you possibly gain by refusing, anyway?

Original poster
lavenderbaby · 01/08/2022 00:21

We do not live close he is not on the birth certificate. From what I know he doesn’t but it was a brief relationship for me to 100%know

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 01/08/2022 00:22

Also all threats should be reported to the police even if they NFA them it builds a picture of his behaviour because reasonable people don't threaten they just do it if your child is being withheld maliciously you don't spend time making threats and posturing you pay a couple of hundred pounds and go to court

Original poster
lavenderbaby · 01/08/2022 00:22

@Johnnysgirl he is going for a dna to get a child arrangement. Which is why I am so scared

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 01/08/2022 00:23

lavenderbaby · 01/08/2022 00:21

We do not live close he is not on the birth certificate. From what I know he doesn’t but it was a brief relationship for me to 100%know

So does he know where you live? Can you not move and block him if your child is genuinely at risk?

BiscoffSundae · 01/08/2022 00:23

No you can’t refuse if it’s through the court and won’t look good if you do tbh

HirplesWithHaggis · 01/08/2022 00:24

If it's court ordered, you must comply. If you don't, I guess it's contempt of court, but I am no a lawyer.

Sorry. :(

Original poster
lavenderbaby · 01/08/2022 00:25

@Isaidnoalready moving can not stop him from going to court can it ?

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 01/08/2022 00:27

I think you should get in touch with Women's aid asap. Do you have proof that he is a risk to your child? Do you have any evidence of dangerous behaviour towards you or your child, or any history of criminal behaviour?

Johnnysgirl · 01/08/2022 00:28

lavenderbaby · 01/08/2022 00:25

@Isaidnoalready moving can not stop him from going to court can it ?

No, it can't. Maybe he won't actually do it, though.
How old is your child, and how exactly is this man unsafe?

RedHelenB · 01/08/2022 05:58

lavenderbaby · 31/07/2022 23:02

my very abusive ex is threatening to request DNA in order to apply for a child arrangement order. I need help and advice please do not comment nasty comments.

Am I able to refuse a DNA ordered by the courts if he does and what are the repercussions for doing so?

Thanking all your help in advance

The answer is no, you can't refuse. He has the right to know he's a biological father, and the child has a right to know who it's biological parents are.

prh47bridge · 01/08/2022 09:20

lavenderbaby · 31/07/2022 23:02

my very abusive ex is threatening to request DNA in order to apply for a child arrangement order. I need help and advice please do not comment nasty comments.

Am I able to refuse a DNA ordered by the courts if he does and what are the repercussions for doing so?

Thanking all your help in advance

You can refuse to give a sample yourself, but you cannot prevent your child being tested. A sample from your child will be enough to establish paternity.

CharlotteOH · 01/08/2022 09:33

You can’t refuse a court order, no. You could maybe ask a solicitor to appeal the order but that seems unlikely.

It sounds to me like your abusive ex knows just how to use the courts against you and my worry for you is that you need legal advice to stop him getting power over you and your child.

Can you talk to Women’s Aid, Citizens Advice Bureau, maybe hire a solicitor if you have money? Do some googling of domestic abuse charities and ask them where you can get free guidance on the legal steps involved in child arrangements and how you can slow down the legal process as much as possible.

Also try to get social workers on your side if any are involved. You need ‘the system’ to accept that this man is an abuser and a threat to the child. Some abusers are given joint custody, others are forbidden by the courts from ever seeing their child, you need to work out what you can realistically do here.

PinkFrogss · 01/08/2022 09:40

No you can’t refuse, the court will push forward anyway and you don’t want to make yourself look unreasonable.

SpringCalling · 01/08/2022 09:44

If the court orders a dNA test you have to facilitate it. Start getting your evidence of his abusive behaviour ready. Just saying he is abusive will not stop contact - you need proof if you decide to not agree to but instead fight his contact once proved the father. I would advise a chat with a solicitor so you understand what is likely to happen.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 01/08/2022 09:50

If you know he's the father then obstructing a DNA test will harm you, not help.

Do you have evidence of the domestic abuse?

BiscoffSundae · 01/08/2022 13:54

Unfortunately even if he was abusive he will still get some kind of contact.

prh47bridge · 01/08/2022 17:32

BiscoffSundae · 01/08/2022 13:54

Unfortunately even if he was abusive he will still get some kind of contact.

He is, however, less likely to get direct contact and even less likely to get unsupervised contact than would be the case if he was not abusive.

Johnnysgirl · 01/08/2022 17:34

Assuming the abuse can be proven, presumably? Op has just branded him unsafe, without further clarification.

BiscoffSundae · 01/08/2022 17:37

Unfortunately I’ve known people to be abusive get unsupervised access even with proof, my sisters ex was One of them if the abuse wasn’t directed at the child then usually they can work up to unsupervised access anyway

prh47bridge · 01/08/2022 18:48

BiscoffSundae · 01/08/2022 17:37

Unfortunately I’ve known people to be abusive get unsupervised access even with proof, my sisters ex was One of them if the abuse wasn’t directed at the child then usually they can work up to unsupervised access anyway

Studies of actual case outcomes suggest that unsupervised contact mostly happens where there has been unsupervised contact within the 6 months prior to the court application. Awareness of the effect of abuse on children, even if they are not the target, is improving. However, I would never argue that things are perfect and, of course, judges are human and will sometimes get it wrong.

Original poster
lavenderbaby · 02/08/2022 15:37

I have got legal advice and it is likely they will request a DNA for him. How likely will he get unsupervised contact and what is the process ?
I have previously spoken to domestic violence charity during my pregnancy. The therapist I had called out his coercive abusive behaviour without me saying and my midwife was aware of his behaviour. It was emotionally abuse not physical.
Does anyone know if I stand a good chance in court?

(Ds is 4 months never has met him)

OP posts: