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Original poster

Grandparents looking for access

113 replies

Isitjustus · 19/05/2022 19:02

Hi there,

I am not sure if there is anyone out there who has experienced this. Wasn’t sure where else to turn so really hoping someone can offer advice.

we have a turbulent relationship with our in laws. It got worse after our child was born. They never made an effort it was always us doing the chasing. Over the years they have liked to be controlling to my partner and when my partner has decided to do things they didn’t agree with it would all start again. There has been threats and name calling on their part. When we say something they don’t like the abuse starts.

My partner and I decided it would be better for our child if rather than permanently chase our in laws and then have a inconsistent relationship with our child we wouldn’t bother with them anymore.

our child has all the love and support they need and attends a childcare setting too.

Issue is our in laws are now making demands and threatening to take us to court to get access to our child. We have had numerous solicitors letters and they continue to make false allegations about my partner and I.

Has anyone else ever been in this situation where there in laws want to try and get some form of custody?

Thank you if you made it this far :)

OP posts:
bellac11 · 14/07/2022 15:41

Sorry just read this properly, this is THEIR application hearing, the one where they have to apply to make an application.

Original poster
Isitjustus · 14/07/2022 15:55

bellac11 · 14/07/2022 15:41

Sorry just read this properly, this is THEIR application hearing, the one where they have to apply to make an application.

Yes it is their application hearing I’ve seen all the lies on their application now. Do we have to attend this one do you know?

OP posts:
bellac11 · 14/07/2022 16:10

Have you been served notice?

This is where they apply for leave to apply. They need to make a case of why they should have the right to make an application

Unless you are given notice to attend you dont have to. But you can certainly provide the court with documents and evidence and your position which is that you oppose their application for leave to apply based on x, y and z which you contain in the evidence you send.

They dont have a relationship with the child
You have offered contact, the last contact ended badly due to their behaviour. They have refused the contact offered.
Evidence of their behaviour and abusive messages etc

Keep it factual and calm and non emotive.

Original poster
Isitjustus · 14/07/2022 16:33

Thank you so much I just have no understanding of all this. Their solicitor has sent me C2 and C100 forms. I wasn’t aware we could give documents at this stage as these are important to our case. They have lied again and overlooked everything we have said. They have also used spending money on our little one as an excuse as to why they should have contact.

OP posts:
bellac11 · 14/07/2022 16:39

I work in public law so rusty on private, I think you are not required at their hearing but I would absolutely forward your evidence to the court, the judge at this hearing needs to make a decision based on the type of application, any relationship with the child but crucially, is this in the child's best interest, would the child be harmed or disrupted by the application.

You have already offered contact and you would continue to do so with you both present, perfectly reasonable. A court also has to consider whether any order is necessary and proportionate, children should not be subject to orders unless they need to be. YOu can set out there is no need for orders, contact can take place as offered. If the grandparents dont want to take that up, thats on them.

Original poster
Isitjustus · 14/07/2022 17:10

Amazing thank you so much :)

OP posts:
bellac11 · 14/07/2022 17:20

By the way, courts are very helpful, you can phone them and ask how to submit your information and whether you are required.

Dragonsmother · 14/07/2022 17:43

if you haven’t please put together a chronology of events- dates, times, location and who was present. If this is online screenshots add them to this list.

It sounds like you are being “harassed”.

OurChristmasMiracle · 14/07/2022 17:55

i would respond one last time to solicitor letter and state that you are now being harassed by the grandparents to provide contact on their terms, and as a result of their inability to prioritise your child’s needs you no longer feel any further contact would be beneficial and any further communication will be treated as harassment.

Collaborate · 15/07/2022 10:21

If you want to oppose the granting of leave (which you must do) then you absolutely must attend that hearing. Without seeing the noticve of the hearing it's impossible to say whether the leave application will be determined there and then or whether directions will be made.

If their application includes a statement setting out why they think they should be granted leave then you need to ask the court for directions including you to file your statements setting out why they should not be granted leave. That will lead to a second hearing.

Is the hearing before a legal advisor or a judge?

Cameronnorrieisabitofalright · 15/07/2022 10:51

So nothing about wanting a genuine relationship? Just money? I wouldn't be worried op.

MadeForThis · 15/07/2022 11:01

It sounds like you have plenty of evidence that you have offered co tact. Hopefully the court will be angry they are wasting their time.

Robin233 · 15/07/2022 11:22

Not sure if this has been mentioned but child protection would not allow a child ti be 'alone' with people who shout and scare her , or who leave her 'under their watch' with people who are toxic and controlling.
Have you had advice from child protection?
Your in laws have well over stepped child protection boundaries.

Mum1909 · 23/01/2023 15:54

Can i jump on this thread to ask if anyone has been to court for this, how did you get on and are you willing to share your experiences either here or via DM please.
We are in the situation now where a grandparent who has had no regular access has been granted permission to apply so a further court date is looming. I hate that we are having to provide evidence to show that we have done nothing wrong, it makes no sense! My logical brain says it won’t go anywhere in the long run but the stress and anxiety it is causing is overwhelming.
Thanks in advance

MaireadMcSweeney · 23/01/2023 15:56

Robin233 · 15/07/2022 11:22

Not sure if this has been mentioned but child protection would not allow a child ti be 'alone' with people who shout and scare her , or who leave her 'under their watch' with people who are toxic and controlling.
Have you had advice from child protection?
Your in laws have well over stepped child protection boundaries.

I know this is an old comment on an old thread but as it's been revived I'd like to say this comment is pretty meaningless

turquoisegem · 23/01/2023 15:58

I haven't read the whole thread but I've been in the exact same position.
Block, move house and get on with your life they have no legal rights and you don't need toxic people in your life, no one does.

CalamityClam · 23/01/2023 16:00

@Isitjustus how is it going?

PeachDelany · 23/01/2023 16:00

Grandparents have no legal rights in this country so it's unenforcable. Let them waste their money on solicitors, it won't get them anywhere. I know someone who went through this exact situation. It was shut down very quickly

Original poster
Isitjustus · 23/01/2023 16:44

Hiya,

Just to give everyone and update, thank you all so much for your help/advice after our 9 months of hell we ended up in Court at the FDRH (the initial hearing) it lasted 15 minutes they had Counsel the lot and yet we ‘won’ justice was served the judge saw what it had done to my partner and I and wouldn’t even let them proceed with their application. Cost them £35k in fees. Judge didn’t even order mediation, he just said that to grant them permission would cause further irreparable damage and would in turn effect our little one :)

OP posts:
Catsonskis · 23/01/2023 16:48

Amazing update op congratulations! I hope you and your partner and little one can move on happily

Squamata · 23/01/2023 16:53

Congrats op!

I used to work in law - you are theoretically the servant of the client, you can advise them that something is batshit and a waste of money but ultimately, unless there's evidence they're of unsound mind or it's illegal, you have to do what they pay you to do.

Which is a long winded way of saying that just because someone has lawyers, it doesn't necessarily mean their claim has any merit.

lamaze1 · 23/01/2023 17:07

What a lovely update op. Sorry you had to go though this, but hopefully you can put this behind you.

Whiskeypowers · 23/01/2023 17:12

The deserved outcome for you and your child
I’m really pleased for you, people like this are just narcissists and it’s not actually about grandchildren at all: they are just a vehicle for their abusive behaviour to continue.

Toasty280 · 23/01/2023 17:13

Lovely to hear your up date but so sad they put you through all that stress hopefully you can move on x

Ihatethenewlook · 23/01/2023 17:18

Thank god for that. I hope you’re not planning on ever contacting them again after what they put you through!

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