DD's father in care home - relatives interfering

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My ex is in a care home, he suffered a traumatic brain injury and has zero capacity. My dd and her siblings have applied for deputyship but it hasn't been granted yet.
He has a lodger in the house and the cash rent is being used to pay bills- all recorded and receipts kept.

His 2 sisters aren't happy with how his finances are being managed and have threatened to ask the court not to grant his children deputyship, they are also pushing them to let a solicitor take over everything.

My dd has been paying for toiletries, chiropodist etc out of her own money and they're not happy about this.

How much say do they have in this ? It's causing so many arguments .

How old is she?

She's 24 - bother and sister (half siblings) are also adults.

Who is his next of kin?

Is he married? Who is his next of kin

Depends who is his next of kin.

My daughter is marked as next of kin on his medical records.

Unless they follow the very convoluted Court of Protection procedures and have definite proof that finances are being mismanaged, your former in laws are on an expensive hiding to nothing.

www.gov.uk/report-concern-about-attorney-deputy-guardian

He's not married and didn't have a partner.

What do his siblings want managed differently?

His children take priority over his siblings. At 24 your daughter is old enough to take this on herself and she should tell them it's nothing to do with them. They can visit, but his finances are not their concern.

Your poor daughter - I'm so sorry for her.

Let them pursue this if they want to waste their own time and money, what are the long term plans for the house, will they sell it, are their carehome bills, does your ex receive funding for the carehome which helps. I wouldnt bother telling them about the toiletries, chiropody and any other gifts your dd or her siblings want to treat him to. What are they concerned about.

I'm not sure, it's so hard sitting on the sidelines, they have said they need to be doing something more regarding the deputyship application but dd has only received a letter saying the application has been accepted and will be forwarded to the court.

They are saying that the children are putting his house at risk ( he is in massive debt) but apart from using the lodgers rent to pay some bills there's not much they can legally do .

You're right and so are your DDs.

Deputyship is a long and inefficient process - they are doing everything right.

Maybe they are worried that the house will be repossessed if he is in big debt, are they planning to sell it to pay off all the outstanding debts.

Luckily the care home is fully funded , they plan to sell the house, it needs so much work doing to it .

@HollowTalk dd is devastated that she's 'lost' her dad , I just don't understand why his sisters are being so awful. They have literally demanded meetings to talk through his finances, dd works long hours and when she said she couldn't make the time they said she received a nasty reply saying'I have made myself very clear ... this is not good enough'.

They don't have the right to sell his home

Not even when they receive the deputyship?

He will never be able to live in his house again.

Does your ExH have a social worker? Was it Social Services that carried out the Mental Capacity Assessment?

I'm sure as soon as the aunts get any kind of authority involved, whether that's police, Social Services or a solicitor, they will immediately be able to verify the delays in Deputyship being granted.

If DD has the support of her siblings I would get ExH's DC to present a united front in asking the aunts to back off.

With the deputyship of course they can sell the home but all the monies need to go into a separate account to be managed separately. Accounts will have to be kept properly as well.

Sounds like the sisters think there will be something in it for them at some point. Keep full account of all monies and try and keep it to a separate account (re lodger etc and bills) Then keep details of what is being spent from DDs own monies with receipts etc as well.

Others are right the sisters have no say and at 24 your daughter should be deemed competent to do this for her Dad. I would make sure that the home is aware of the issues so the sisters can visit but not influence what is happening there, get the deputyship sorted so it is clear cut who has responsibility for what and the accounts are properly produced. All that happens if a solicitor is introduced to this situation is that they make money out of it.

I think the capacity assessment was carried out by social services. She's just so worried and upset that her aunts think she's not doing right by her dad .

Also just to say you can call the OPG and explain the situation to them regarding the delays and the legal issues this may cause and you might hit someone who is sympathetic and can sort things faster.

I had something similar with regard to probate and instead of 12 weeks it was sorted in 3 due to the other parties antagonistic approach and issuing legal proceedings

Re the solicitor, dd has asked the aunts who will pay for them , they haven't answered.

Is the OPG the same as court of protection? I've tried to find a phone number to call .