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Original poster

Does my brother still have to pay children maintainer for his 17 year old working son?

243 replies

Nikki037297 · 07/02/2022 07:07

My brother has a son who is 17 and is working part time and at college part time. His ex is demanding money as my brother is just going back to work after being on the sick after an accident at work and breaking a bone in his neck and not being able to work for around 20 months now. He’s googled it and can’t find much out and it seams a bit complicated and never mentions the child working and what would happen in those circumstances. Does anyone know ?

OP posts:
MsVanDeKamp · 07/02/2022 11:07

Your brother sounds awful. Even if the son had now aged out he should do the decent thing and give his ex 20 months worth of payments. I doubt for those 20 months she just fed her son fresh air.

Comefromaway · 07/02/2022 11:09

Is he on an actual apprentiship where he is being paid a full time apprentice wage and his employer send him to college on day release (usually 1 day per week) or is at college on a full time course (my ds for example is doing a Btec that's full time but his contact hours are 3 days per week) & working part time around that.

If the former then child benefit is no longer payable and I beleive neither is child maintenance. If the latter then absolutely he should pay towards keeping HIS son.

Inspectorslack · 07/02/2022 11:12

@Fromthebirdsnest

Of course he does and make a plan for paying back what he owes! How is this a question?
What will he owe if he’s been on sick pay for 2 years!? It’s £7 a week from benefits at the most.
CandyLeBonBon · 07/02/2022 11:13

@IWasHotInTheNineties

Ugggh my ex is like this. Counting down the days until he can stop paying. I am doing my best to ensure I give them everything and help them in the future too. That’s the minimum a parent should do.
Mine is the same. It turns out he's been paying significantly less than he should have via a private arrangement (he refused to review it in spite of his salary increasing significantly.

I work full time and do my best to provide for my 3 - eldest is (just turned 20) autistic and deemed to have limited capacity for work so still needs a measure of financial support, but ex still cut off Maintenance for him and told me sarcastically, not to bother thanking him for paying 6 months longer than he needed to. He's been underpaying by £600 a month for at least 3 years, and hardly sees them,

Some men just don't get it.

whynotwhatknot · 07/02/2022 11:28

He should contact the CMS for clarification-it does depend on the course it might seem part time but if its a just one course hes doing in college he'll have some days off-which means he'll still have to pay

hellobabyyy · 07/02/2022 11:29

Yes of course he does. I presume his part time job doesn’t pay his contribution to the rent, bills, travel to and from college, lunches, food, stuff for college, phone, clothes etc.

My deadbeat Dad was furious that I went to college and he still had to pay £6 pw child maintenance

MsFogi · 07/02/2022 11:34

Bloody hell - does your brother want his son to work and use his pay to support himself so that he doesn't have to pay for his maintenance?!? 17 year olds get jobs to have a little extra spending money not to relieve their father's of the need to support them!!!!

KaptainKaveman · 07/02/2022 11:36

@Nikki037297

My brother has a son who is 17 and is working part time and at college part time. His ex is demanding money as my brother is just going back to work after being on the sick after an accident at work and breaking a bone in his neck and not being able to work for around 20 months now. He’s googled it and can’t find much out and it seams a bit complicated and never mentions the child working and what would happen in those circumstances. Does anyone know ?
If you have a child then you need to spend the money required to bring them up. That's what being a parent is. HTH.
GizmosEveningBath · 07/02/2022 11:41

Poor lad, 17 year olds get paid next to nothing, he will be working for a little bit of cash for themselves. It wont be enough for him to support himself. You and your brother should be proud of him for going to college and having a job. Not trying to find ways of to get out of supporting him. You should both be ashamed of yourselves.

GizmosEveningBath · 07/02/2022 11:41

*for himself

SoftSheen · 07/02/2022 11:42

Yes of course Hmm

NowEvenBetter · 07/02/2022 11:44

OP has two kids, is impregnated again, and has a boyfriend on codeine for 3 years…OP is it your boyfriend that’s the deadbeat to a 17yr old?
Either way, he should be ashamed of himself.

Beachbreak2411 · 07/02/2022 11:49

Why wouldn’t he WANT to pay for HIS SON?????

OnlyAFleshWound · 07/02/2022 11:49

@NowEvenBetter

OP has two kids, is impregnated again, and has a boyfriend on codeine for 3 years…OP is it your boyfriend that’s the deadbeat to a 17yr old? Either way, he should be ashamed of himself.
The boyfriend on codeine also has a job interview coming up as he's about to return to work.

I'm sure it's a coincidence and op is just a really helpful sister.

VikingsandDragons · 07/02/2022 11:51

Ever consider that the son has had to get a job because dad hasn't been able to support him for 20 months, but he still had needs?

GizmosEveningBath · 07/02/2022 11:52

@NowEvenBetter

OP has two kids, is impregnated again, and has a boyfriend on codeine for 3 years…OP is it your boyfriend that’s the deadbeat to a 17yr old? Either way, he should be ashamed of himself.
If your boyfriend is the dad OP, just remember if he can do this to his children from a previous relationship, he can do the same to yours.
Mygodicanteven · 07/02/2022 12:03

Why is he so reluctant to pay for his child......... Doesn't matter if he's 17 or 5. Or has 5 part time jobs. He absolutely should contribute financially. It's a shame it seems he's trying to weasel his way out of that one. Poor kid.

CanofCant · 07/02/2022 12:07

Another mouth to feed, innit?

Toanewstart23 · 07/02/2022 12:15

In any event

Why would the want to help his 17 year old son

Grabbyexes · 07/02/2022 12:17

The system is shocking towards non resident parents sometimes. As long as the resident parent is claiming child benefit, you have to pay maintenance. Even when the resident parent is literally committing benefit fraud, lying about college etc. Your brother will be liable till his child turns 20.
DSS's resident parent made it impossible for his non resident parent to have a relationship with him, lots of mind games and manipulation. We tried so hard to make it work. Resident parent then lied to benefits about college, enrolling on courses but DSS never attending. CMS refused to investigate further than ask the other parent.
I absolutely agree people should contribute to their children, but its taking the piss when the adult child is refusing to continue education, refusing to work, living with his grandparent and the "resident" parent is still taking the money and claiming the benefits.
We had to pay until he turned 20, to fund the other parents lifestyle. DSS never saw a penny of it. Shocking.
We wanted to pay it directly to DSS, but not allowed 🙄

Toanewstart23 · 07/02/2022 12:27

@Grabbyexes

The system is shocking towards non resident parents sometimes. As long as the resident parent is claiming child benefit, you have to pay maintenance. Even when the resident parent is literally committing benefit fraud, lying about college etc. Your brother will be liable till his child turns 20. DSS's resident parent made it impossible for his non resident parent to have a relationship with him, lots of mind games and manipulation. We tried so hard to make it work. Resident parent then lied to benefits about college, enrolling on courses but DSS never attending. CMS refused to investigate further than ask the other parent. I absolutely agree people should contribute to their children, but its taking the piss when the adult child is refusing to continue education, refusing to work, living with his grandparent and the "resident" parent is still taking the money and claiming the benefits. We had to pay until he turned 20, to fund the other parents lifestyle. DSS never saw a penny of it. Shocking. We wanted to pay it directly to DSS, but not allowed 🙄
Yes it is shocking

But not for the reasons you outline

He’s wasn’t at college and he wasn’t working. He sounds aimless and directionless. Like some teenagers. But most RPs don’t sever any financial support including a roof over their head because of it.

You seem to think that was the solution

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 07/02/2022 12:27

@Persephonegoddess

So he has not paid for almost two years.... does he not believe it's his son? Otherwise why else would he think he is not responsible ? He sounds like an awful dad.
Or a man with a broken neck, starting to return to work after an absence of nearly two years.

OP has posted I. legal Matters, not AIBU!

Frazzled2207 · 07/02/2022 12:27

I’m quite horrified that anyone should have to ask this.
Basically he’s avoided paying child maintenance for a long time and wondering if he can get out of it for longer because the child has a pt job?
Unbelievable. Of course he should be paying and also seeing what he can to make up the missing months.

Toanewstart23 · 07/02/2022 12:29

The broken neck thing is irrelevant

I’m the RP
If I broke my neck it wouldn’t mean I would stop financially supporting my children

AryaStarkWolf · 07/02/2022 12:30

@Toanewstart23

The broken neck thing is irrelevant

I’m the RP
If I broke my neck it wouldn’t mean I would stop financially supporting my children

Exactly.
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